Renata Maciel dos Santos

Brazilian model Renata Maciel dos Santos

WHEN PLASTIC SURGERY GOES WRONG

I know this is a little late, but the People's Choice Awards were last night in Los Angeles. Jewel was the big winner of the show, taking home the "OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT CHICK'S TITS!" and "DOES SHE OWN A FREAKING MIRROR!" awards. Congratulations from all of us here at Celebslam.

Gisele visiting a friend in Sherman Oaks (1/7)

+ Jake Gyllenhaal is yoked [Just Jared]

+ Celebrities poop, too! [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Mischa Barton Posted Bikini Pictures [Egotastic!]
+ Yurizan Beltran is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]
+ Mariah Carey's SNL upskirt [TaxiDriverMovie]

+ Carrie Underwood has sexy legs [Popoholic]
+ Hot girls in football jerseys [Holy Taco]
+ Tyra Banks is thick [Bossip]
+ Jessica Simpson doesn't wash her hair [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

Kate Bosworth and James Rousseau at The Grove in L.A. (12/18)

If not, she has some serious 'splaining to do about her romantic dinner with director Ryan Kavanaugh last month in Malibu while her boyfriend James Rousseau was in Australia. A witness told the National Enquirer:

"Kate and Ryan definitely looked like a couple during their romantic dinner. Ryan leaned over the table and whispered to Kate, and she blushed and giggled. Kate was eating it up -- it was apparent she was enjoying his attention. It took nearly five hours to finish, and they were the last couple to leave the restaurant around 1 a.m."

After dinner, a driver dropped off Kate and Ryan at his Malibu home, according to the eyewitness.(Print Edition - 1/12)

Note to all guys: If it takes you five hours to close the deal on a sushi dinner date, you're better off getting a hooker. They're less expensive, you don't have to listen to them talk, and when you're done you can politely show them the door . . . at 55 MPH.

NOTE: Not that you care, but I'm not really a huge fan of Kate Bosworth -- whenever she comes on TV, I hit the mute button.*

*And then unbutton my pants and play slow jazz

Heidi Montag leaving the Chanel store in Beverly Hills (1/7)

I'm beginning to think she just might be. Painting Chanel logos on your nails is the kind of classy move you normally associate with old money.

Kirsten Dunst leaving Bardot nightclub (12/20)

I don't think there's much of an argument that Kirsten Dunst is just about the hottest piece of ass in Hollywood right now. I mean, look at her. WOW. If your loins aren't already hot from that picture above, they're gonna be on fire after reading this little tidbit from the National Enquirer:

Somebody get Kirsten Dunst a stylist  - fast! The "Spider-Man" start looked like a WRECK when she showed up at Bardot in Hollywood on Dec. 20. No makeup, greasy, unbrushed hair...could it get worse? Her disheveled appearance turned heads as she chain-smoked much of the night. (Print Edition - 1/12)

Did anyone else come after reading that article or was it just me? My god, it's like they pulled that thing directly from the pages of Penthouse Forum!

Freida Pinto

Actress Freida Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire) at the 2009 Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards Gala (1/6)

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson definitely broke up

Even though Lindsay Lohan denied reports earlier this week that Samantha Ronson and her broke up, TMZ is sticking to their story:

We just got video of Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson together, leaving Sam's house. BUT, they did break up. We know Lindsay moved out of Sam's house and is staying with Jen, her manager. Lindsay wants back with Sam. Are they back together -- who knows? Did they split? Yes. (Source)

That's Lindsay yesterday at the Burberry store in Beverly Hills. She looks . . . different. Wait, I know! She has that "I just blew the salesman in an empty dressing room for a 40% discount" look on her face. Old Lindsay is back!

Victoria Silvstedt bikini pics!

Victoria Silvstedt in St. Bart's (Dec. 2006)

Josh Duhamel is drunk

Their wedding just two days away, Fergie and her fiancé Josh Duhamel had a joint Bachelor-Bachelorette party last night at Dakota Bar in Santa Monica. They both got pretty shitfaced -- Fergie even had to be helped out of the bar. BTW, if you're a guy and you're nodding your head in approval at the idea of a joint Bachelor-Bachelorette party, go ahead and punch yourself in the nuts right now. Bachelor parties are supposed to be all about the fellas, copious amounts of alcohol, and debates over whether you can smuggle the dead stripper's body out of the hotel in the mini fridge. Turns out the answer is no. Ha! I told you Frank!