Penelope Cruz bikini pics!

Penelope Cruz in St. Bart's (Dec. 2006)

Kid Rock leaving Crown Bar in West Hollywood (1/7)

+ Kim Kardashian's ass still fat [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Kelly Brook's Bikini Might Be See Through [Egotastic!]
+ Ashlee Simpson's first night out getting drunk since she gave birth [Just Jared]
+ Diane Kruger upskirt [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Kevin Costner called 911 on himself [The Blemish]

+ George Lucas's doodles from the set of Star Wars [Holy Taco]
+ The life of a vagina (SFW) [Attuworld]
+ Candance Cabrera is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]
+ Patrick Swayze hospitalized [Cele|bitchy]

Amy Winehouse in St. Lucia (1/7)

Crack isn't the only thing that might kill Amy Winehouse this year. It was learned on Wednesday that she's one of a handful of British celebs on a terrorism hit list. From NME:

Reports have emerged today (January 7) claiming that Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson have been included on a "terror target" hit list made in reaction to the current conflict in the Gaza region. The Sun said comments were made on the forum of Ummah.com. A post on the forum apparently called for users to compile "a list of top Jews we can target", which included both Winehouse and Ronson's names. British anti-terror expert Glen Jenvey told The Sun that the comments should be taken seriously.

"The Ummah website has been used by extremists," he said. "Those listed should treat it very seriously. Expect a hate campaign and intimidation by 20 or 30 thugs." (Source)

Good for Amy. This is the first kind of "Hit List" she's been on in months. Actually, threatening to "target" Amy Winehouse might be the best recruiting idea terrorist organizations have had since 1983.* Who wouldn't want to join in? I'd enlist if I weren't allergic to explosions and women with more facial hair than me. If taking out Amy will end the war in Gaza, there's only one sensible thing for her to do: become a martyr.
 
*1983 was the year Michael Bolton's first CD was released. Not many people know this but he's actually a creation of Al Qaeda used to build up hate and anger against the West.

Dr. Phil has a nice house

Dr. Phil's 11,000+ square foot mansion in Beverly Hills

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

Paris Hilton outside Bar Deluxe in Hollywood (1/9)

Pacific Coast News says Paris Hilton looked "frighteningly thin" last night at Bar Deluxe in Hollywood. Now before you get all freaked out about her health, don't worry, Paris is fine. She went to a frat party at UCLA on Wednesday. She always looks a little gaunt 12 hours after she gets her stomach pumped.

Brooke Burke

Brooke Burke at the People's Choice Awards at the Shrine Auditorium in L.A. (1/7)

Ross McCall and Jennifer Love Hewitt in L.A. (8/18)

We finally have the reason Jennifer Love Hewitt was dumped on Christmas Eve: too needy. A "longtime friend" of Hewitt's told the Chicago Sun Times:

''Jennifer wears her emotions too much on her sleeve. She's too needy and often comes on too strong. I think the intensity of being with [Hewitt] finally is what scared off Ross.'' (Source)

If Jennifer's friend thought she was too needy before, wait until she sees her now: "I need cheesecake, fudge, and ice cream ASAP or so help me god I will cut you!" My prediction: by mid-April, JLH will find herself back at her old cruiserweight physique. It's a shame, too. She was just starting to get into the kind of shape that made her famous -- the shape where her chest actually protruded further than her hips.

Ray Liotta leaving Gold's Gym in Venice (1/8)

No, seriously, he looks like a serial killer.

Jessica Simpson leaving Bar Deluxe in Hollywood (1/8)

Seriously, can everyone in Hollywood stop with the plastic surgery/lip injections/ botox already? Just stop. You're ruining your body. Look at how fucked-up Jessica Simpson's lips are and she's only 28. She can't possibly think that looks good. Screw plastic surgery, Jessica needs to be happy with what God gave her. Like her big boobs for example . . . which, incidentally, could be made even bigger with implants. Hooray for plastic surgery!

Lindsay Lohan still won't take responsibility for her DUI

Turns out Lindsay Lohan's DUI back in May 2007 (the one where she hit a tree), wasn't actually her fault. It was the paparazzi's. I think we all owe her a big apology. From an interview conducted by Lauren Hutton for Interview magazine:

Lindsay Lohan: ... You know, my car accident that I got into, where I got my first charge, I wouldn't have been speeding up like I was if I didn't have people shoving cameras in my windows.

Lauren Hutton: You were running away?

LL: Yeah, I was. I was running away from the paparazzi.

LH: Who wouldn't be running away? It's scary.

LL: Especially late at night, when you're trying to turn a corner, and then somebody else is speeding up alongside you. So, you know, it's okay for someone to chase me and then try to cut me off so I ram my car into a tree . . . I mean, I know this guy was trying to do his job, but his "job" almost landed me half-dead. (Source)

Apparently Lindsay forgot the fact that she was drunk, had coke in her bloodstream, and was driving like a maniac when she had her accident. Something else she seems to have forgotten that night: SHE WAS FUCKING DRUNK. I know I just repeated myself but I really wanted to drive the point home how stupid Lindsay is. I mean, did she really think we'd forget about that night? Bitch hit a tree and then ran from the scene. Why stop at the paparazzi? Why not blame city planners for putting a tree that close to a road? Or the police. Gosh, they always seem to unfairly target celebrities who drive drunk and high on cocaine. It's just not fair! You can't pass all of the blame on Lindsay though. There are plenty of other celebrities that have selective memory too. Like K-Fed, Britney, and Jamie Lynn -- when they "select" not to remember what birth control is.