Joe Francis is so screwed
If this guy does less than five years for all the crap that’s come down on him in the last week, I will be very disappointed. Joe Francis added to his list of woes (charged with tax evasion earlier this week) Wednesday evening by bribing a guard for a bottle of water at the Bay County Jail in Panama City, Florida. The Girls Gone Wild mogul has been charged with one count of bribing a public servant, five counts of bringing contrband into a jail cell, and three counts of posessission of a controlled substance. All charges, classified as third-degree felonies in Florida, carry a maximum five-year prison sentence. From E! Online:
According to court documents, Francis offered guard Earl Cal $100 Wednesday evening and, when Cal passed, he upped the ante to $500, showing him the bills in the process.
Problem—inmates aren’t supposed to be packing cash any more than they’re allowed to pack heat.
A search of Francis’ cell then turned up 16 pills, including the sleeping aid Lunesta and the anti-anxiety drug lorazepam, under his mattress and under a towel that was lying on a table, per court records.
The real question here is: How did he get those bills into the jail cell without being detected? Can you say suppository? I’ve heard of dirty money before but not that dirty. At least now I know where I got that raging case of E. Coli.–from that rolled up hundred I used to sniff coke off of that hooker’s back … man I love Utah!
I see, I see a “Guys Gone Wild” Chino Edition in a very near future.
Dear Jesus,
I know we’re suppossed to pray for good things, but hear me out. This really would be a good thing, considering who it’s for. Can you please make sure that your blessed child, Joe Francis, gets his pooper hole stretched by a large gentleman in prison? It doesn’t matter by who, but I wouldn’t mind if the asailant was an african-american who was really into douchey rich boys.
Your pal,
Carlos.
Joe Francis is a skummy douchebag. I have a mutual friend who knows him and she told me the Chicago socialite Cory the model Bernstein is wintering right now in Florida and this week is supposed to fly down and see Joe in the Panama City slammer. If they have videos i bet Boys Gone Wild should be leaked soon or a reality show in the making. Joe is a douche.
What we have here, is a failure to communicate……
Even though they are all class 3 felonies, it does not mean that he will get the maximum; he could easily get probation or a short sentence pursuant to a plea. I suppose if he got a hard-a$$ judge, or a hard a$$ D.A., he could get the max. Unlikely, even though the douchebag should rot in the pot.
WHAT A CHUMP!…THIS GUY HAS FROM THE BEGINNING THAOUGHT HE WAS GOD!…HE EARNED EVERYTHING THAT IS COMING HIS WAY..CALLING A FEDRAL JUDGE A JUDGE GONE WILD IS NOT TAKEN LIGHTLY…TRUST ME….MY DAD IN A JUDGE…THEN ON TOP OF THAT..3RD DEGREE FELONIES EACH FOR BRIBING A OFFICER FOR WATER AND PUTTING PILLS UP YOUR ASS IS NOT THE BEST THING EITHER…WHAT A CHUMP!
Yeah I hope Joe Francis gets gang raped in jail. Because karma’s a bitch.