The Week in Bikinis

NOTE: Click on any thumbnail for the associated post

Lindsay Lohan out and about in New York (9/4)

+ Mel B. from the Spice Girls swinging a bag of shit around [Drunken Stepfather]

+ No Lindsay Lohan Nude Photos in Playboy [Egotastic!]
+ John McCain: 1, Barack Obama: 0 [Just Jared]
+ Sunny Cruz is stacked [F-Listed]
+ Selma Blair needs to stay away from scooters [The Blemish]

+ Ciara is nude [Attuworld]
+ Rumer Willis hates her jaw [Cele|bitchy]
+ She can’t possibly think those lops are sexy, right? [Horny Oyster]
+ Brad Pitt isn’t satisfied with his chosen career path [ICYDK]

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Anna Kournikova has a nice house

Anna Kournikova’s 7 bedroom, 7 bathroom home on Miami’s Sunset Island

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

[BauerGriffinOnline, Splash News]

Jeremy Jackson has a sex tape

Remember Jeremy Jackson, the Hoff’s son on Baywatch? Turns out he’s not dead. And he’s making sex tapes! With real life porn stars! Jackson told TMZ:

“Listen, this video was made by my best friend. Between me and a casual sex partner who just so happened to be a former porn star [Sky Lopez]. I was later physically threatened if I didn’t turn the DVD over to some drug addicted thugs. They said, ‘Sky wanted it back and didn’t want to ever be seen as a porn star, that she had turned to God and was changing her life.’ So I gave it up for HER and so they would not beat me up and ‘make my life hell’ as they had threatened. I was blackmailed. This private recording becoming public kinda sucks. But I thought people out there should know the truth and how far some people will go to make a quick buck.” (Source)

Carmen Electra? Yep. Yasmine Bleeth? You bet. Jeremy Jackson? FUCK NO! Of all of the actors and actresses on Baywatch, that dude’s the last one I wanted to see in a porno. I’d rather see a video of David Hasselhoff getting tag teamed by a crippled rhinoceros and a dude named “Fisty” than see a video starring that colostomy bag. Frankly the only type of film I want to see that guy in is of the “snuff” variety.

Brooke Burke

Brooke Burke leaving Ralphs supermarket in Malibu

[Flynet]

Jennifer Aniston bikini pics!

Jennifer Aniston in Los Cabos, Mexico (7/2003)

NOTE: 7 more Jennifer Aniston bikini pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)

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Miley Cyrus buys $75,000 Mercedes even though she can’t legally drive

Remember your very first car? I bet it wasn’t a $75k Mercedes. Because you weren’t worth eight digits before your sixteenth birthday. From In Touch Weekly.

Miley Cyrus doesn’t turn 16 until November 23, but she’s already bought herself a present — a convertible. In late August, the star ordered a fully loaded white Mercedes-Benz CLK 550 Cabriolet with a sticker price of $75,375. “Miley wanted special options like parking assist and a cream-colored leather interior, so she ordered the car early,” her pal says. “She’s telling everyone that she hopes to get a car when she turns 16, so when it comes, she can say it was a surprise from her parents.” Miley will be trading in her two wheels for four on her birthday.

Of course Miley needs the “park assist” feature for her car, she’s a celebrity. Just kidding, she needs it because she’s a woman. Seriously though, Miley would have been better off getting something a little more practical for her birthday . . . like Invisalign. And why is she trying to convince people that her parents bought it for her? Everyone’s gonna know Billy Ray Cyrus didn’t get that car for her when they see it’s missing a gun rack.

[WENN, BauerGriffinOnline]

Caroline D’Amore bikini pics! (Malibu - 8/30)

Yup, Caroline D’Amore went to the beach. Last weekend to be exact. Those of you unfamiliar with Caroline, she’s basically the brunette Paris Hilton. With a gag reflex.

NOTE: 18 more Caroline D’Amore bikini pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)

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NSFW!

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

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Lynn Spears is a bad mother

Lynne Spears‘ memoir Through the Storm is set to be released this month. The publisher’s leaking some of the more juicy stories to help drum up publicity. Like how Britney began drinking at 13, lost her virginity at 14 to an 18-year-old, began taking drugs at 15, and banged Justin Timberlake — with her mother’s approval — at 16. From UK tabloid The Sun:

Lynne, 53, tells how she regrets handing over control of Britney’s career to managers and allowing her daughter to be promoted as a sex object in raunchy videos at such a young age. She believes Britney’s wild behavior as a teenage star is the root of her current problems. Britney, now 26, has twice been admitted to a hospital psychiatric ward this year. After the Mickey Mouse Club, Britney spent a year at high school in her home town of Kentwood, Louisiana, where she is said to have lost her virginity at the home of her footballer boyfriend.

As Britney later pursued her pop career, Lynne let her 16-year-old daughter sleep with teen sweetheart Justin Timberlake, despite claiming she was a virgin. A source said: “Lynne thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her.” Lynne’s book reportedly tells of her horror when Britney, still just 16, was caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet. (Source)

Lynne let her daughter try booze at 13, sex at 14, drugs at 15 and still “regrets handing over control” of Britney to her managers? Sounds to me like the damage was already done. Lynne blaming Britney’s managers for the train wreck her daughter turned into is like lighting your own house on fire and then blaming the firemen when your possessions end up wet.