Wilmer Valderrama outside an office building in Beverly Hills (5/28)
Are Wilmer Valderrama (seen above in Beverly Hills earlier this year working as a valet . . . he is the valet, right?) and Avril Lavigne dating? Um, I don't know. Wait, who is Wilmer Valderrama? An insider told
Life & Style:
"They have been friends since working together on Fast Food Nation in 2005, but things heated up last month. One of their first dates was Oct. 29 at Nobu in West Hollywood.”
Avril, 25, and Wilmer, 29, took things public at LA club Wonderland last Saturday. "She had her hand on his knee and they were whispering in each other’s ear, laughing," says a witness. "They even closed the club, sneaking out just after 2."
Avril wasn't flirting with Wilmer -- she was trying to figure out who the hell he was: "Wait a minute, don't I know you from somewhere? I swear I've seen your face before, many many many many years ago . . ."
Samantha Ronson and Wilmer Valderrama leaving the Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood (11/2)
Do you think these two swap war stories about dating Lindsay Lohan whenever they see each other?
Wilmer: "By the time we broke up, I could easily fit a grapefruit up Lindsay. It was really something. She's a total circus freak."
Samantha: "Wow that must have been a long long time ago. A few weeks ago, I actually slept in her vagina."
ALTERNATE HEADLINE: "Pictured: One of the biggest cocks Lindsay Lohan has ever slept with and Wilmer Valderrama"
Rihanna leaving Les Deux nightclub in Hollywood (3/17)
Talk about a great situation for Wilmer Valderrama (if he's lucky enough to hook up with Rihanna). All he has do is not beat her up and he'll look like Prince Charming. From the
Chicago Sun Times:
Thanks to lots of input from friends and fans alike, Rihanna is moving on from Chris Brown. While it's only a little flirtation at this point, Wilmer Valderrama seems the first guy to catch the singer's eye. You've got to hand it to the ex-''That '70s' Show'' star -- he's scored with quite the list of hotties in the past: Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson, Mandy Moore, Jennifer Love Hewitt and (for about seven minutes) Scarlett Johansson. (Source)
How does this guy keep pulling such hot ass? The only explanation I can come up with: there's a "30% Off" Overstock.com coupon code stamped onto his penis. Or maybe Rihanna finds Wilmer to be an attractive alternative to Chris because she knows he's the one guy whose ass she can kick. Either way, I think we can all agree who will be hurt the most by this breakup:
Chris sales
of this.
Pink riding her motorcycle in L.A. (11/19/08)
Pink and Wilmer Valderrama ran into each other at an Ultimate Fighting event in Las Vegas a few weeks ago. A few hours later, they probably had sex. *shudders* A friend of Valderrama's told the
National Enquirer:
"Wilmer was in the floor seats when Pink came in with a bodyguard and sat behind him. It was obvious she'd started her partying earlier because when a photographer asked him to take her picture, she told him, 'No, I'm too drunk!'"
The blonde-again Grammy winner flirted with Wilmer through the entire fight card - and he two walked out hand-in-hand, said the source. They headed for an after-party at LAX, where they settled into a VIP table onstage and tossed back shots of Patron tequila followed by drinking Duckhorn Merlot.
"Pink and Wilmer were definitely feeling no pain, and they got very touchy-feely," according to an eyewitness. (Print Edition - 1/19)
I have so many questions after reading this. "Who did who?", "What was Wilmer Valderama doing with floor seats?", and "If Pink stood on Wilmer's shoulders would they finally meet the height requirement for a rollercoaster?" Even more amazing: Pink had time to drink, hook up with Wilmer, and party all AFTER defending her UFC Welterweight belt earlier in the evening. What a warrior.
Finally the day has arrived. Wilmer Valderrama and Kevin Federline may collaborate on a rap album. According to a source, the two sealed a "late-night party pact" at a Las Vegas club over the weekend. From the New York Daily News:
The new BFFs "chilled out together and insisted on rapping along to every song played," laughs a witness. "K-Fed invited Wilmer to be involved with his next album." Britney's baby-daddy even had a nifty new trick to foil the paparazzi at Heineken's Thirst Studio Global Sessions. "He had a little flashlight he would shine in cameras so they couldn't get any shots." (Source)
The pairing of these two might almost be as hilarious as Vanilla Ice and Gerardo (of "Rico Suave" fame) getting together. I can see the album title now: Coconut and Wigger. With such classic hits as: "My baby's momma is my sugar momma" and "I ruined Lindsay Lohan for the rest of you." Platinum hit ... guaranteed.
Fresh off her fling with Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel might be knocking boots with former That 70s Show star Wilmer Valderrama. The two were seen getting awfully close at the Gramercy Park Hotel in New York late last week. From a witness via the New York Post:
"They were in deep conversation. Then, Latin music was playing and he twirled her about. They seemed to be together all night." (Source)
How do average dudes like Wilmer Valderrama consistently hook up with famous chicks (Mandy Moore, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Ashlee Simpson to name a few) yet I routinely go home empty handed on Saturday nights. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Every weekend I wear my finest mesh shirt and quintuple up on the sprays of cologne to stand out but I've still never hooked up with anyone famous. Well unless you're counting Allesandra Ambrosio. But c'mon, she's more a supermodel than a celebrity. Idiot
Lindsay Lohan continues her Forgiveness Tour 06-07 (no doubt part of her AA treatment). Earlier in the week she forgave Scott Storch, producer of the famed Firecrotch song. This time ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama was the target. From TMZ:
The two were spotted chatting by the pool at the Delano in Miami on Monday -- both were in town to celebrate New Year's Eve. According to sources, Lindsay called to Wilmer as he walked by, and the two took some time to catch up as the year ticked down. Though things looked cheery, chances for a reunion are probably slim -- this is the same guy that blabbed on Howard Stern about her fire-less crotch.
So in the past few weeks Lindsay's quit drinking alcohol; stopped doing drugs; and has made amends with Valderrama, Storch, the guy she cut off in traffic a few months ago, and possibly me (I haven't checked my email today). At the rate she's going, in a few weeks she'll be handing out pamphlets at the airport telling you that Jesus is the only true path to salvation.
Seems like Mandy Moore has forgiven former boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama for his revelation on the Howard Stern Show that he had taken Moore's virginity:
the two were spotted having a cozy dinner with her parents at Stanton Social. They left separately so the paparazzi waiting outside wouldn't snap them together. We are assured the pair are just friends.
Wow talk about an awkward situation. Can you even imagine having dinner with your girlfriend's parents when they know you deflowered her. Anytime you started talking with her dad, you'd have the same "ah shit, this guy knows I fucked his daughter" thought in the back of your head. Talk about a shitty few hours. I'd rather go swimming in the Everglades with open sores.
