Wilmer Valderrama

Wilmer Valderrama outside his apartment in New York (2/8)

Pacific Coast News says that's Wilmer Valderrama in New York yesterday sending "a new mystery girl home in a cab" no doubt after a night of carnal pleasure. Wow, he actually walked her out and hailed a cab for her? The most I've ever done for a chick I hooked up with was let her borrow my bus pass, and that's only because she promised not to tell anyone about the weeping.

*5 Wilmer Valderrama pictures total in the gallery:

Demi Lovato shopping in West Hollywood (10/6)

Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama used to date back in the day, and then Demi went off the rails, did too many rails, and ended up in rehab. Wilmer must have realized that sex with crazy chicks can be pretty fun because the two are back together and were spotted getting "hot and heavy" at Seth MacFarlane's party last week. A witness told Life & Style:

"They showed up together and made no effort to hide that they're back together. They were stealing kisses throughout the night, holding hands and just seemed to enjoy being together. Demi couldn't seem happier about it!

"They were dirty-dancing to the music, and when they were seated, Wilmer had his hands on Demi’s knee the entire time. He was being very boyfriend-like and affectionate."

Demi is still dating Wilmer? I guess now we know why she likes to cut herself. In all seriousness though, what do all of these hot starlets see in this guy? Finding a tiny Latin dude to date in Southern California isn't exactly hard to do -- just stand out in front of Home Depot. Besides, as a millionaire in his 30s, Wilmer shouldn't be dating a 19-year-old. That's disgusting. He should be dating someone younger.

*26 Demi Lovato pictures total in the gallery:

Wilmer Valderrama hooked up with Demi Lovato

And Wilmer Valderrama is back, folks! The New York Post says the actor has been seeing Demi Lovato since May, which is funny because she didn't turn 18 until August. Oh shit.

Following a breakup with Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato clung to an older actor, Wilmer Valderrama. Before the Disney star entered a facility for "emotional and physical" issues, sources said Lovato, 18, introduced pals to the "That '70s Show" star as her boyfriend. Valderrama, 30, first connected with Lovato when they filmed a public-service spot together in Chile for earthquake relief in March, around the time she announced her relationship with Jonas. "The two started seeing each other in May right after her breakup with Jonas," a source on the tour said. "She would show us pictures of them together."

Another source said Valderrama has been a big part of Lovato's life leading right up to her decision to seek treatment.

Considering it's illegal for 30-year-olds to bang 17-year-olds in 49 of 50 states (still unsure about Florida), Wilmer is obviously denying the rumors:

Contacted by Celebuzz about the Post's story, Valderrama's rep, Heidi Slan, flatly stated, "It is false."

What is with this guy? He hooks up with Lindsay Lohan, her life and career go into the toilet shortly after. He hooks up with Demi Lovato, she's in rehab six months later. He's leaving a trail of destruction in his path. His penis is an F5 tornado and these Disney stars are just trailer parks to him. I better warn my mom to stay away from this guy.

*21 Demi Lovato pictures total in the gallery:

Wilmer Valderrama outside an office building in Beverly Hills (5/28)

Are Wilmer Valderrama (seen above in Beverly Hills earlier this year working as a valet . . . he is the valet, right?) and Avril Lavigne dating? Um, I don't know. Wait, who is Wilmer Valderrama? An insider told Life & Style:

"They have been friends since working together on Fast Food Nation in 2005, but things heated up last month. One of their first dates was Oct. 29 at Nobu in West Hollywood.”

Avril, 25, and Wilmer, 29, took things public at LA club Wonderland last Saturday. "She had her hand on his knee and they were whispering in each other’s ear, laughing," says a witness. "They even closed the club, sneaking out just after 2."

Avril wasn't flirting with Wilmer -- she was trying to figure out who the hell he was: "Wait a minute, don't I know you from somewhere? I swear I've seen your face before, many many many many years ago . . ."

Samantha Ronson and Wilmer Valderrama leaving the Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood (11/2)

Do you think these two swap war stories about dating Lindsay Lohan whenever they see each other?

Wilmer: "By the time we broke up, I could easily fit a grapefruit up Lindsay. It was really something. She's a total circus freak."

Samantha: "Wow that must have been a long long time ago. A few weeks ago, I actually slept in her vagina."

ALTERNATE HEADLINE: "Pictured: One of the biggest cocks Lindsay Lohan has ever slept with and Wilmer Valderrama"

Rihanna leaving Les Deux nightclub in Hollywood (3/17)

Talk about a great situation for Wilmer Valderrama (if he's lucky enough to hook up with Rihanna). All he has do is not beat her up and he'll look like Prince Charming. From the Chicago Sun Times:

Thanks to lots of input from friends and fans alike, Rihanna is moving on from Chris Brown. While it's only a little flirtation at this point, Wilmer Valderrama seems the first guy to catch the singer's eye. You've got to hand it to the ex-''That '70s' Show'' star -- he's scored with quite the list of hotties in the past: Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson, Mandy Moore, Jennifer Love Hewitt and (for about seven minutes) Scarlett Johansson. (Source)

How does this guy keep pulling such hot ass? The only explanation I can come up with: there's a "30% Off" Overstock.com coupon code stamped onto his penis. Or maybe Rihanna finds Wilmer to be an attractive alternative to Chris because she knows he's the one guy whose ass she can kick. Either way, I think we can all agree who will be hurt the most by this breakup: Chris sales of this.

Pink riding her motorcycle in L.A. (11/19/08)

Pink and Wilmer Valderrama ran into each other at an Ultimate Fighting event in Las Vegas a few weeks ago. A few hours later, they probably had sex. *shudders* A friend of Valderrama's told the National Enquirer:

"Wilmer was in the floor seats when Pink came in with a bodyguard and sat behind him. It was obvious she'd started her partying earlier because when a photographer asked him to take her picture, she told him, 'No, I'm too drunk!'"

The blonde-again Grammy winner flirted with Wilmer through the entire fight card - and he two walked out hand-in-hand, said the source. They headed for an after-party at LAX, where they settled into a VIP table onstage and tossed back shots of Patron tequila followed by drinking Duckhorn Merlot.

"Pink and Wilmer were definitely feeling no pain, and they got very touchy-feely," according to an eyewitness. (Print Edition - 1/19)

I have so many questions after reading this. "Who did who?", "What was Wilmer Valderama doing with floor seats?", and "If Pink stood on Wilmer's shoulders would they finally meet the height requirement for a rollercoaster?" Even more amazing: Pink had time to drink, hook up with Wilmer, and party all AFTER defending her UFC Welterweight belt earlier in the evening. What a warrior.