Recently in Victoria Beckham Category

Victoria Beckham arriving to Heathrow Airport in London (11/15)

I don't want to freak anyone out here, but it appears Victoria Beckham's nipples have started generating their own light-emitting energy. Ha ha ha, fuck you stupid windmills! This shit is way hotter.

Victoria Beckham leaving a hotel in London (7/24)

Could Victoria Beckham be Paula Abdul's replacement on American Idol? Sure, why not. She's already agreed to one guest judging appearance (for a rumored £155,000) and word on the street is it could become permanent. From The Sun:

Billionaire show producer Simon Fuller, who managed the Spice Girls, is in talks to hire Posh, 35, as a judge.

A source said: "Paula's absence leaves a big gap on the judging panel. At least 25 million viewers tune in every week. It needs a big star. Simon Cowell and Victoria have always got on. It would be an incredible coup to get Posh. She was in one of the biggest girl groups in history so she knows what she is talking about. Simon Fuller is now speaking to her."

Victoria Beckham? How . . . boring. Paula needs to be replaced by someone equally as crazy, like Mischa Barton or Amy Winehouse. Holy shit, can you imagine Amy Winehouse as a judge on American Idol? The drinking game possibilities alone would be endless. "Do a shot every time Amy compares someone's performance to the high that comes from shooting up heroin" or "Do a shot every time Amy offers to suck someone's dick for coke."

Victoria Beckham arriving to Wembley Stadium in London (6/10)

Victoria Beckham got a third boob job last month in L.A. -- but not the good kind. She got a reduction from a 34DD to a 34B. Bitch. A source told The Sun:

"Victoria has wanted her implants taken out for a while. She felt that was part of her old WAG image - the big hair, big boobs, fake tan - and that she has moved on since those days. She had the op three weeks ago and is very pleased with the results. After the op she came to London for business then went to France to heal properly in private."

After the surgery was over and her breasts were reduced from a DD to a B, Posh then swore off blowjobs in an attempt to make herself even more unattractive to her husband.

NOTE: Every time I hear about a woman getting a breast reduction, I feel like a part of my soul has been ripped out, raped, and set on fire. *sigh*

Victoria Beckham leaving Claridge's Hotel in London (6/10)

Victoria Beckham put on a little show for the paparazzi while leaving her hotel in London this morning, showing off her razor-sharp nipple. Yikes, that thing looks dangerous. It's like hardened steel. Victoria's had so many breast surgeries over the years, I'm not entirely sure her nipples are made of skin anymore. They actually might be steel. Trying to fuck this chick must be like fighting Wolverine.

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Victoria Beckham and her Hermès Birkin bag at Heathrow airport in London (5/14)

Victoria Beckham has a collection of Hermès Birkin handbags that are worth more than most average people (e.g. bloggers) make in a lifetime. Ha Ha Ha, losers. Oh wait, that's me. Dammit. From the Daily Mail:

It has just been revealed by an American financial website that Victoria has a collection of no fewer than 100 Hermes Birkin bags, worth a total of £1.5 million ($2.3 million).

The only variant between these extravagant possessions is colour, skin and size (the smallest Birkin costs around £2,500 [$4,000]). Oh, and the addition of a three-carat diamond in the silver 'Himalayan' version she owns, which is worth £80,000 ($125,000), and one of only three in the world.

$2.3 million worth of handbags? Only five more million and Victoria will have as much [emotional] baggage as the 2025 version of Britney Spears' kids! With that much disposable money, it wouldn't surprise me if Victoria heats her fireplace with stacks of $100s, wipes her ass with fifties, and keeps David's boyfriends quiet with bills adorning Woodrow Wilson.*

*look it up

The Costume Institute Gala was sexy

Believe it or not, not everyone at the Costume Institute Gala last night dressed like a complete jackass. The list of winners (there's 147 pictures on PAGE 2. This post took me god damn forever to edit and upload so do me a favor and click on some of them):

Miranda Kerr
Bar Refaeli
Kate Bosworth
Blake Lively
Cindy Crawford
Marion Cotillard
Diane Kruger
Heidi Klum
Jessica Biel
Karolina Kurkova
Rachel Bilson
Victoria Beckham
Jessica Alba
Gisele
Selma Blair
Kate Beckinsale
Eva Longoria
Ivanka Trump
Melania Trump
Rosario Dawson

Good god. It reads like a hit list of chicks I routinely beat off to.

Top 10 Bad Hollywood Boob Jobs

by Dan the Celebman

Nothing makes shallow celebs happier than a stiff injection of saline solution. But just like with Kevin Costner's acting career, things sometimes go horribly wrong.

NOTE: Make sure you click through the gallery for individual comments under each picture.

Victoria Beckham for Armani

Here's Victoria Beckham's latest ad for Armani. I love her pose. She's on her knees -- a classic sign of weakness and vulnerability, yet she's also wearing high heels -- a classic sign of strength and assertiveness. It's an interesting metaphor for the modern woman of today and her struggle to balance the issues of sexuality and power in a male-dominated world. I also love how you can almost see her boobies. Yay for boobies!

Victoria Beckham leaving Scott's restaurant in London (3/13)

+ Odette Yustman is very, very, very, very hot [Popholic]

+ Kim Kardashian's nice cleavage [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Katy Perry Cleavage Gets Classy in Esquire [Egotastic!]
+ I didn't think it was possible to ride a horse like that [Holy Taco]
+ I beat off to this picture 50+ times back in the day [College Humor]

+ Your latina lesbian fantasy of the week [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Those shoes are outrageous, even for Shauna Sand [Bastardly]
+ Stacy Keibler was definitely the hottest former celeb cheerleader [BettorFan]
+ Riot breaks out at America's Next Top Model auditions [I'm Not Obsessed]

+ A couple chick from 90210 in their bikinis [CityRag]
+ McConaughey's new son is pretty damn cute [A Socialite's Life]
+ What, exactly, does George Clooney taste like? [Yeeeah!]
+ Britney's new video for her controversial "FUCK ME" song [popbytes]

Victoria Beckham commits fashion genocide

I don't know if it's the recession or what, but Posh Spice was seen at London's Heathrow Airport yesterday wearing the same outfit she wore in November of last year. Finally, a celebrity can relate to the feelings of shame and embarrassment that many average women experience when they're forced to wear their $7,000 Gucci dress twice in four months.