Archive: Travis Barker

It’s now confirmed that Paris Hilton and Travis Barker are an item:

Paris Hilton and former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker are doing a lousy job of dissuading people they’re a new couple. Despite an earlier denial, the two were locking lips at Marquee early yesterday morning after Paris opened the Heatherette show. She held up proceedings (”hair issues,” apparently) until Barker arrived. After lip-synching her hit “Stars are Blind” on the catwalk, she and Barker left for Marquee. “They spent most of the time talking, but kissed several times,” says a club witness. Earlier this week, Paris denied a report that the two were on smooching terms. She said an earlier L.A. sighting was of her snogging a different tattooed rocker who is often confused with Barker.

I’m not too surprised that Paris lied about hooking up with Travis because she pretty much lies about everything. At this point Paris could say something about the earth being round and I would suddenly become paranoid about falling off the edge of the Pacific Ocean.

And what’s with the grainy photos of Travis and Paris that have come out lately? They kind of remind me of the pictures the French Resistance took of secret Nazi bunkers during Word War II. Or maybe Travis and Paris are just impossible to photograph celebrity-ninjas.

In other news, Travis’ former wife Shanna Moakler feels betrayed by him:

Moakler’s response? “When I first heard of the situation I felt betrayed, but in order to maintain a positive atmosphere for my children I’ve decided that not to exacerbate the situation by commenting on each new aspect of Travis Barker’s personal life,” she said in a statement to PEOPLE.

No comment about Travis’ personal life? THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE FIRST PART OF YOUR STATEMENT IS ABOUT! That’s like me saying that Count Chocula is my favorite cereal but in order to maintain a positive atmosphere for the other cereal characters I’ve decided not to comment on what my favorite cereal is.

Former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker was caught with Paris Hilton outside of Club Hyde on Thursday. This comes on the heels of Barker’s announcement that he was divorcing his wife Shanna Moakler (with bonus MySpace rant!).

It’s pretty damn obvious from the very clear picture of them together what they’re doing. They’re making babies. The picture is too damn crystal-clear not to think that. I’m not even sure having a picture of Barker’s penis inserted into Paris’s vagina would be as clear as the picture above.

Question: If you are former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker and are heading towards a divorce with your wife, former Miss USA Shanna Moakler, what do you do?

Answer: Rant on MySpace of course!

In the scathing blog entry, Barker claimed that on a typical day, he would get up with his children at around 5:30 a.m. Moakler, on the other hand, stayed in bed until around 2 p.m. and was frequently out late partying, said Barker. He added that the couple’s kids often referred to their nanny as “Mommy.”

Barker also claimed that Moakler had neglected to mention that she would be competing on the third season of Dancing with the Stars or that she had a MySpace page.

“I was informed by our realtor that Shanna was doing Dancing with the Stars? Why wouldn’t she tell me, right?” he wrote. “A MySpace account? Where she posts pix of our kids and her and I half naked? Weird?”

However, Barker’s true breaking point came when he discovered condoms in their home, according to his posting.

“We don’t use condoms ever,” he wrote, insinuating that his wife had been unfaithful, a claim he also made to the New York Post. “I’m sad to say those allegations [of infidelity] are true,” Barker told the paper via a rep. “My priority will remain my children.”

[Source]

I can’t really blame Travis on this one. Shanna Moakler is a woman that makes Jessica Simpson look like a smarter Stephen Hawking. I remember one episode of Meet the Barkers where Shanna bit into a glass Christmas ornament because it was “shiny” and “really round” (now I never actually saw that but I’m assuming something like that happened and the producers just cut it out).

Great for Travis to tack on that PSA message about condom usage. That’s what being a role model is all about.

It’s sad to see Shanna taking the divorce news so hard.