Tori Spelling out and about in Brentwood (9/14)
Tori Spelling is firing back at
Star over
the magazine's claims that she's anorexic and weighs just 98 pounds. No, wait, that article was from early April. Let's try this again: Tori Spelling is firing back at
Star over
the magazine's claims that she's anorexic and weighs just 95 pounds. No, wait, that article was from late April. Fuck. Let's try this one last time: Tori Spelling is firing back at
Star over
the magazine's claims that she weighs just 95 pounds and recently collapsed because of her low weight. Yep, that's the right one. Tori
tweeted:
Star Mag...LIES! Literally not 1 factual thing in entire article. And, come 2 my house&weigh me Star! I'm 107lbs. if you care about FACTS?!?
According to
IMDB and a bunch of other sources, Tori is 5'6". Plugging those numbers into the Body Mass Index (BMI) calculator on the
National Institutes of Health website gives us a BMI of 17.3, which classifies Tori as "underweight." According to
Wikipedia:
The most common cause of a person being underweight is primarily malnutrition caused by the unavailability of adequate food, which can run as high as 50% in parts of sub-Saharan Africa and south Asia. The effects of primary malnutrition may be amplified by disease; even easily treatable diseases such as diarrhea may lead to death. In the presence of adequate food resources, being underweight can sometimes be the result of mental or physical disease.
I don't know what this means exactly but I've always wanted to write a story about Tori Spelling where the words "malnutrition" and "sub-Saharan Africa" were used.
NOTE: Interestingly, I plugged K-Fed's numbers into the BMI calculator and my computer laughed. My computer has never laughed before. I didn't even know they could do that.
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott leaving the 'Hollywood Spectacle' grand opening party in West Hollywood (8/12)
Tori Spelling is pissed at
Star magazine's claims that her marriage to Dean "Poor Man's K-Fed" McDermott is "loveless." Shortly after the story was published last week, she
tweeted:
Dean&I read STAR 2gthr&were grossed out@uncreative lies but made us appreciateR life&love more&made us sad4those tht spread lies.Bad Mo Jo!
In the story, a friend of Dean's claims that he's only married to Tori for the money (what year is this, 1993?):
"There is no question Dean is with Tori for the money and the fame," Michael Olifiers, an actor who's been friends with Dean for years, tells Star in a world exclusive interview. "Dean's always been desperate to become famous. He craved being in the spotlight and Tori's his ticket to that life."
But he didn't always have kind words for the woman who became his wife and mother of his two children. The night before Dean left to film Mind Over Murder in 2005, he fired off a barrage of cruel barbs aimed at Tori, says Michael. "I can't believe I have to kiss her," Dean joked. "She looks like a horse!"
When asked by Celebslam if she would like to comment on the allegations that Dean cracked cruel jokes at her expense, Tori replied, "Neigh."
Tori Spelling shopping in Malibu, CA (7/25)
Tori Spelling's mom Candy took to the media yesterday to blast her daughter over how she was portrayed in a recent episode of
Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. Of course she did. Boy if I had a nickel for every time my mom released an open letter about me to the media . . . Candy wrote:
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING
I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.
Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.
I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.
Cue music. Cue sideways glaces. Clue Lights.
I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.
A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.
Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that i would not be attending.
Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.
For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
Don't you just love Hollywood? It's the only place on Earth where people prefer to air their problems through the media rather than in private. Next week Candy will complain to
Dateline about how many boxes of Diflucan she's had to go through to treat her current yeast infection. Candy needs to be the adult in this situation and settle their differences like a typical celebrity parent: with a
hug handshake court appearance.
Tori Spelling bikini pics! Tori Spelling in Maui (Aug. 2000)
Tori Spelling bikini pics! (Maui - 6/16)
Caption: Tori Spelling in Maui, modeling GapKids new summer collection. Seriously, bitch needs to eat.
I can't stop staring at her jaw Sorta. Britney requested a signed copy of Tori's new parenting book
Mommywood. In other news, apparently they make a pop-up version of Tori Spelling's new book
Mommywood. From
Star:
"Britney's actually a huge fan," a source tells Star. "She used to be obsessed with watching Beverly Hills, 90210 back in the day. And now she thinks that Tori has such a cute family."
As for Tori, "She was really flattered," says an insider.
The insider added: "But just to be safe, Tori's changing the locks on her house and hiring a 24-hour security patrol to walk the perimeter. Tori's worried that if Britney comes within even ten feet of her children, she'll somehow find a way to accidentally set them on fire."
Tori Spelling at Cynergy Cycles in Santa Monica (5/1)
The one thing I don't understand with Tori Spelling and
her eating disorder is this: Even though she's losing weight on a daily basis, her head and jaw are still massive. They might have even gotten bigger. She's like the real-life version of Stewie from
Family Guy. It's really something. I feel like some scientist or government agency should be investigating this.
Tori Spelling signing copies of her book "Mommywood" at Barnes & Noble in L.A. (4/20)
I know I did a "
Top 10 Bad Hollywood Boob Jobs" list just a few days ago, but I had to post these new pics of Tori Spelling at a book signing on Monday. What the fuck. Look at how deep that cavity is. Think of all the change her husband must find when they have sex. It's like a couch cushion. "Found my keys!"
Top 10 Bad Hollywood Boob Jobs by Dan the Celebman
Nothing makes shallow celebs happier than a stiff injection of saline solution. But just like with Kevin Costner's acting career, things sometimes go horribly wrong.
NOTE: Make sure you click through the gallery for individual comments under each picture.
Tori Spelling at the release party for her new book Mommywood in L.A. (4/13)
Despite, um, looking like that, Tori Spelling is denying that she has an eating disorder. In other news, liar liar pants on fire. She told
People:
"Oh my God, I'm not anorexic. I acknowledge that I look thin in photos. I get it. Obviously I don't want to lose any more weight But people haven't seen me not pregnant in two and a half years. I'm eating healthy, I just have a crazy lifestyle.
"I'm so blessed to have as many jobs that I have, but I do agree that there needs to be some downtime. I'm the first to admit that sometimes I don't have the time to sit down for a well-balanced meal. Usually like you kind of just finish whatever your child doesn't eat. I'm like, 'Cool, you have a few pieces of hot dog left and one broccoli floret and a fry, I'll take it.' "
Tori, you realize you just described a meal that's roughly 17 calories. You're not doing a very good job convincing us that you don't have an eating disorder. In fact you're doing the exact opposite. It'd be like me trying to convince you that I'm not addicted to models and during the interview, I was actually having sex with a model. "I think these rumors printed in the
New York Times that I have an addiction to hot models -- wait a sec . . . ohhh . . . ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah Helga, right there baby, just like that --- are a bunch of fucking bullshit."
