Recently in Tony Romo Category

The infamous chili cook-off pics taken in January

Tony Romo's arch nemesis! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN! From Star:

Jessica Simpson leaving Katsuya restaurant in Hollywood (8/1)

It's been scientifically proven that only good things happen when chicks with huge tits drink too much. I guess Tony Romo fucking hates science. From Fox News:

Romantic relations between Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo appear to be absolutely done and dusted, but according to insiders, the surprise break-up was largely a result of peer pressure from Romo’s pals and Jess’s love of adult beverages.

"Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with he head on his lap and the look on Tony’s face said it all," an insider told Tarts. "He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make."

We’re also told that the Dallas Cowboy really did love the pop princess and "fought for her" with his skeptical friends, but in the end, it got to a point where it just didn’t make sense for him to stay in the relationship.

When you have tits like Jessica, that's basically a "get out of jail free" card when it comes to doing stupid things in a relationship. Wrecked my car? No big deal. Broke my TV? Meh, it was only 60 inches. Lost my dog? I'll just get another one. I can't believe she still somehow fucked this up. I think the conclusion here is a pretty obvious one: Tony Romo hates hot tits. I knew it. I never trusted that dude.

Tony Romo out and about in West Hollywood (1/9)

Us Weekly claims today that Tony Romo was carrying on an "emotional affair" with a piece-of-ass 22-year-old months before he dumped Jessica Simpson. From the magazine:

Jessica Simpson exuberantly announced Tony Romo -- "the man who loves me!" -- was at her Feb. 6 concert.

Backstage that night, Romo would introduce her to Natalie Smith, a younger, skinnier look-alike of the singer, who, multiple sources tell Us Weekly, he had been sending "flirty texts" to for months while still dating Simpson.

Multiple sources tell Us that Romo was having an emotional affair with Smith months before dumping Simpson on July 9, the eve of her 29th birthday.

Adds another pal of Smith, who typically dined with Romo when he'd visit his college town: "They've always flirted and texted each other. They had phone conversations one to two months before the breakup."

Emotional cheating? Please tell me this is a joke. I guess I should feel guilty this morning around my girlfriend since I emotionally fucked Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox last night. I'm surprised the chick who wrote this article -- make no mistake, a woman definitely wrote this article -- was even able to finish it in time, what with her busy schedule of burning her bra at rallies.

Jessica Simpson in LA (7/28)

Call me crazy, but maybe Jessica Simpson should have started this whole "I'll show him -- I'll lose weight" crusade before she got dumped by Tony Romo. From OK! magazine:

"Right after Tony ended things, Jessica said, ‘I want my old body back,'" a friend of the singer reveals in the new issue of OK!. "She went into her kitchen, got a trash bag and started to clear it out.

"Jess is serious about getting her body back into fighting shape. Working out is helping to give her focus and clear her head. It’s better than sitting around moping or throwing pity parties with ice cream sundaes. She doesn’t want to give anyone more reason to not take her seriously. She’s tired of weight being a talking point."

Did you catch that line? "She went into her kitchen, got a trash bag and started to clear it out." She started to clear it out. She didn't even finish. With a trash bag. Holy shit, her kitchen must have looked like a fucking 7-Eleven.

Jessica Simpson wants Tony Romo back

Jessica Simpson's taking the high road in her split with Tony Romo . . . just kidding, she's begging him to take her back. Everyone wave goodbye to Jessica's dignity. From the Chicago Sun Times:

Poor Jessica Simpson is having a tough time getting over being dumped by Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. Supposedly Simpson's parents have advised her to get counseling -- especially since Jessica has reportedly begged Romo to take her back.

Don't count on that. The NFL star is totally done with his ex-girlfriend, tired of her ''neediness,'' said a longtime Romo team pal Wednesday.

Since Tony's through with Jessica, I'm assuming he won't be needing the child safety covers for his electrical outlets anymore. If you're in the market for 50 or so of those things, give him a call -- *cough*audrinapatridgesboyfriend*cough* -- I'm sure he'll cut you a great deal.

Joe Simpson and Tony Romo playing golf in Studio City (1/8)

It was widely believed that Papa Joe Simpson was behind Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo's first break-up last year. The only reason the couple got back together (I mean besides Jessica's awesome rack) was because Joe promised to take a step back. Oh hey, you'll never guess who didn't take a step back. From Fox News:

Another inside source said that Jessica’s manager/father Joe Simpson’s meddling ways most likely took its toll on the relationship, which is the reason why they split the first time fourteen months ago. We’re told Joe promised he’d take a step back when the couple reunited but he was still too involved in his daughter’s private life.

"At one point Joe was even giving Tony football advice which doesn’t go down well," said an insider. "Tony was a football superstar before he got mixed up in Hollywood, this move will be probably be good at least for his career."

I can't believe Tony's using Joe as the scapegoat for the break-up. What an absolute betrayal. After all, it was Joe who introduced him to Jessica. It was Joe who told him the secret combination to unlocking Jessica's pants (kiss her on the neck, right below the ear). It was Joe who told Tony what champagne to get Jessica drunk on to get her to do "pretty much anything." Congratulations Cowboys fans, you have Benedict Arnold leading your team.

Jessica Simpon and outside the Staples Center in LA (6/4)

People is reporting that Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson last Thursday -- one day before her birthday. Ouch. The two had been dating since November 2007. A source told People:

"She is heartbroken. She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."

The Dallas Cowboys quarterback fueled breakup rumors when he showed up with about 14 friends at the Hollywood hotspot MyHouse on Friday night without the birthday girl, a source tells PEOPLE.

"He had quite a few girls stop by his dance floor table," says an onlooker. "Romo was sipping Grey Goose and having a fun time with the boys."

Jessica may have been the one getting dumped, but the joke's ultimately on Tony. Let's just see him try to get his money back for that world-record-size can of chili he bought Jessica for her birthday off of eBay. The listing specifically said no refunds. Sucker!

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo out and about in Hollywood (4/11)

Jessica Simpson is great at gift-giving. She bought her boyfriend Tony Romo a freaking boat. Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have spurned her advances last year! From the National Enquirer via the San Francisco Chronicle:

Jessica Simpson gave boyfriend Tony Romo a nautical 28th birthday last month -- she treated the football star to a $100,000 speedboat. The singer unveiled the gift at a special party at the pair's Dallas, Texas, home, reports the National Enquirer. And the Dallas Cowboys quarterback was delighted with the custom-made gift.

A source tells the tabloid, "Jessica knows that Tony has always wanted a boat. (She's) hoping that her birthday gift will lead to marriage, and by this time next year she'll be walking down the aisle with him."

Giving a guy an unexpected present is all it takes to get him to walk you down the aisle? Tell that to Jamie Lynn Spears' uterus. Obviously Jessica hasn't learned the most valuable lesson there is about relationships: you can't buy a man's love, you have to earn it . . . with BJs. Lots and lots of BJs. The second most important lesson: shhhhhhhhhhh.

Jessica Simpson at La Guardia Airport (2/11)

The one positive about Jessica Simpson's recent weight gain? She's definitely can't be labeled a "Hollywood skinny skank," as Tony Romo puts it. From the always-great Bill Zwecker at the Chicago Sun Times:

Though Jessica Simpson's folks continue to deny she's expecting Tony Romo's baby, the singer's somewhat fuller figure these days keeps fueling pregnancy tales. Yet, even if she's not preggers, a source close to the Dallas Cowboys quarterback reports Romo likes Simpson ''with a few more pounds on her.'' The QB supposedly clips out celebrity mag photos of what he calls ''Hollywood skinny skanks'' -- using super-thin shots of the likes of Mischa Barton, Nicole Richie, Mary-Kate Olsen, Kate Moss and Paris Hilton to remind Simpson not to over-diet. (Source)

If Tony wants to start cutting out pictures of famous people to inspire Jessica to improve herself, he might want to start with photos of people a little smarter than she is like Einstein, Hawking, or Corky from Life Goes On. Of course the real reason why Tony wants Jessica to add a little meat to her bones is so that she can remind him of the person he really likes mount and grope from behind: Andre Gurode.

"Seconds please."

Count Tony Romo among the fans of Jessica Simpson's new "fuller" figure. Simpson debuted the new look at the 24th Annual Chili Cookoff in Pembroke Pines, Florida, on Sunday, where she was the sole judge. From OK! magazine:

Indeed, the singer sent a statement to critics: She loves her curves! "I'm not fat," Jess recently confessed to a pal. "Going from a size 2 to a size 8, that's not fat. If I weren't Jessica Simpson, no one would care."

Jessica's confidence no doubt comes from her boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo, 28. "He thinks Jess is hot no matter what," a friend of the singer tells OK!. "He wants to date a girl who can have a few beers, ribs, fries and dessert." (Source)

Me too. But not for an appetizer.