Tommy Lee

Pamela Anderson leaving Malibu Beach (11/20)

You think it was awkward when your parents sat you down when you were a kid and had "the talk" about sex. Yeah, well I'm sure your mom never had to explain her sex tape to you. Ouch. From the New York Daily News:

[Pamela Anderson] bares all in a candid interview that will be aired tomorrow on British television - including how she had to tell her two young sons about the raunchy home video she made with ex-husband Tommy Lee.

Anderson's coming clean to sons Brandon, 12, and Dylan, 11, about the tape was sparked by, of all things, her cameo in the 2006 comedy "Borat," reports The Daily Mail.

"I knew kids were going to watch the film and there was a reference to the tape in the movie and they're that age and, you know, people are going start saying things," Anderson tells British talk-show host Jeremy Kyle.

"I just said, 'Look, Mummy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything, everything was videotaped, and you're probably going hear about something at school.'"

Sorry Pam, but finding out about your sex tape isn't what clued in your kids to your sordid past -- your giant fake tits and daily dose of hep C meds took care of that a long time ago. Pam should actually consider herself lucky if it's taken her kids this long to figure out that she used to be a dirty slut . . . especially since most kids figure that out by themselves if they've grown up in a house where each week they call a new guy "daddy."

Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson at Body English at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas (8/1)

WTF? Why does Tommy Lee keep going back to Pam Anderson? Her vagina must be scarier looking than those fish with huge fangs that live at the bottom of the ocean. The only thing that makes sense is that he got into some sort of argument with his penis and this is his way of exacting revenge. In Tommy's defense, his penis shouldn't have called his mom a fat whore.

Tommy Lee has a nice house

Tommy Lee's 8,000+ square foot house in Calabasas, California. The rocker paid $5.85 million for the home last year.

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

Tommy Lee at Karu & Y nightclub in Miami (10/31)

He gets to party with topless groupies after every Mötley Crüe show. Awww no fair! Lee told Playboy:

"You must remove one article of clothing - your pants, your top - or else you are not allowed in my dressing room. That gets the fucking party started so quick. Everyone's walking around topless." (Source)

It must be nice to be Tommy Lee and actually have chicks listen when he demands that they take off their tops. When I do it, I just get served with yet another letter telling me to stay 500 yards away from the nursing home. Let this be a lesson to today's male youth: If you want to see naked girls all day, all you've got to do is become a rockstar surf the internet grow an 11 inch cock.