Tom Cruise

Suri's starting school

Suri Cruise must be the luckiest kid out there. When I was a kid, I would have killed to go to a school where we talked about aliens and spaceships all day. From the Daily Mail:

Tom and Katie Cruise’s doll-like daughter Suri is to be trained in Scientology after her third birthday this week. The Cruises are sending their daughter five days a week to the Church of Scientology’s £6,000-a-year New Village Academy in Los Angeles, launched last year by Tom’s friend, fellow actor Will Smith. It is staffed by trained Scientologists and lists ‘study technology’ as a key curricular focus.

"The children have a lot of responsibilities from a very young age," says a source. "The school is particularly strict about nutrition, demanding a low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet. Katie is understandably  a little anxious about being separated from Suri."

I hope for Suri's sake she's enjoying these last few precious moments of freedom. Because in just a matter of hours, she'll begin the brainwashing that'll leave her more lobotomized than Audrina Patridge and with less free will than the U.N. It'd be nice if Suri's diet actually did consist of "low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar" . . . but I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that human hearts contain loads of sodium and a ton of carbs.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes leaving Il Sole restaurant in Hollywood (2/28)

You know why people think Scientologists are a bunch of crazy, unstable wackos? Because Scientologists are a bunch of crazy, unstable wackos. From the Daily Mail:

Katie Holmes may be coming to the end of her Purification Rundown diet, but it seems she isn’t stopping there with her commitment to Scientology. I can reveal that the 30-year-old actress resolves problems with her husband Tom Cruise by making weekly written confessions, as laid out in the Scientology code.

"Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend," says a source. "If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened." (Source)

From a pretty reliable source (Thanks Dale!), I've managed to get a hold of Katie's list of confessions from last week:

Monday: Spoke before being spoken to.
Tuesday: Made eye contact with someone other than my husband.
Wednesday: Forgot to eat my daily sacrificial pig's heart.
Thursday: Asked a question.
Friday: Let Suri out of her cage.
Saturday: Thought about the outside world.
Sunday: Wondered, not for the first time, why Tom was wrestling with the Pool Boy.

Penelope Cruz arriving to the Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica (2/21)

Fearing he'd get cooties or something, Tom Cruise totally blew off ex-girlfriend(!) Penelope Cruz at a pre-Oscars party on Friday night. A spy told the New York Post:

"Penelope tapped him on the shoulder and timidly asked, 'Tom?' Tom turned around, got visibly flustered and awkwardly said, 'Oh, hey. Hi,' and gave her a small, distant hug before turning back around to his friends. It was weird."

Cruise's wife, Katie Holmes, "was not there. But he clearly hasn't run into Penelope very often since they split" five years ago, our insider said. (Source)

Considering how much of a pariah Tom Cruise has become these days in Hollywood, you think he wouldn't turn his back on a huge star like Penelope Cruz. At this point, his career is in such shambles, he shouldn't be giving the cold shoulder to the gaffer on the set of Sesame Street. If Tom ever wants to get back into the good graces of Tinseltown, he has to do what Mickey Rourke did: disappear for a while . . . and light his face on fire.