Tom Brady

Gisele arriving on a flight at Logan International Airport in Boston (11/1)

Gisele was spotted without her wedding ring Saturday in Boston. So what's up? Are her and Tom Brady having problems? Did he cheat on her? Did she cheat on him? Are they planning on divorcing? Is her ring just at the cleaners? What's the code for getting 30 lives in the original Contra on Nintendo? I don't know. Possibly. No. No. I don't know. Maybe. Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.

*20 Gisele pictures total in the gallery:

  • Gisele No Wedding Ring 1
  • Gisele No Wedding Ring 2
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Gisele consoling her Tommy after the loss

After being taunted by some Giants' fans last night after the game ("Eli owns your husband!"), Gisele was overheard ripping the New England Patriots' receivers, saying:

"My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times."
Is it the Patriots' receivers fault they lost the game last night? Or is that succubus Gisele's fault?

Tom Brady before hooking up with Gisele's cursed vagina in late 2006:

  • Winner, Super Bowl XXXVI (2002)
  • Winner, Super Bowl XXXVIII (2004)
  • Winner, Super Bowl XXXIX (2005)
Tom Brady after hooking up with Gisele's cursed vagina in late 2006:

  • Loser, Super Bowl XLII (2008)
  • Loser, Super Bowl XLVI (2012)
Even Yoko Ono wasn't this much of a wet blanket. Robert Kraft needs to get this bitch deported.

*5 Gisele and Tom Brady pictures total in the gallery:

  • Gisele Patriots Criticism 1
  • Gisele Patriots Criticism 2
  • Gisele Patriots Criticism 3
  • Gisele Patriots Criticism 4
  • Gisele Patriots Criticism 5

Gisele in Costa Rica last August

The New York Post managed to get a hold of an email Gisele sent to all of her beautiful (*I'm assuming) friends and family about the upcoming Super Bowl featuring her husband Tom Brady. And it's pretty damn whiny considering Tom and Gisele are worth a combined bajillion dollars and the outcome of Sunday's game -- positive or negative -- will have little to no impact on their future life together whatsoever:
"I feel Tommy really needs our prayer, our support and love at this time," Bundchen wrote in the message sent out to Brady-clan insiders. "My sweet friends and family. This sunday will be a really important day in my husband's life. He and his team worked so hard to get to this point and now they need us more than ever to send them positive energy so they can fulfill their dream of winning this super bowl . . . So I kindly ask all of you to join me on this positive chain and pray for him, so he can feel confident, healthy and strong. Envision him happy and fulfilled experiencing with his team a victory this sunday.

"Thank you for your love and support. Love, G :)"
Awe, look at what doll face Gisele Bundchen prays for. Isn't that sweet? Here's a list of things I pray for:
  • World peace
  • A cure for cancer
  • For models and starlets to let me have a few hours of sleep between rounds of lovemaking
Here's what I don't pray for:
  • Multimillionaire NFL quarterbacks with supermodel wives to win a fourth Super Bowl
Gisele, you and your kissable face are adorable. I love how innocent you are, but lets be honest, I think we can all agree that God has blessed you and your boy toy enough. How 'bout throwing me some scraps?

*20 Gisele pictures total in the gallery:

  • GiseleTom Brady  Email 1
  • GiseleTom Brady  Email 2
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I think her dress is on backwards

Meh, what's $7,500 for Christmas lights when you're worth A GAZILLION DOLLARS. From TMZ:
Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen's electric bill is gonna be through the roof this Xmas -- TMZ has learned the couple is spending $7,500 to light and decorate their L.A. mansion for the Holidays.

Sources close to the couple tell us ... G&T placed an order with A-1 Christmas Trees and Lights in L.A. on Tuesday -- purchasing two twelve-foot Christmas trees ... and a whole mess of lights for their house ... totaling approximately $7,500.
Tom better be careful. Using that much electricity can only lead to one horrific outcome: an enormous energy bill Al Gore protesting in front of his house. Besides, why does Tom even care about the holidays? When you're banging a Victoria Secret's model on a regular basis, every day is Christmas. The only difference is, you actually know what's in the box.

*15 Tom Brady and Gisele pictures total in the gallery:

  • Tom Brady Christmas Lights 1
  • Tom Brady Christmas Lights 2
  • Tom Brady Christmas Lights 3
  • Tom Brady Christmas Lights 4
  • Tom Brady Christmas Lights 5
  • Tom Brady Christmas Lights 6
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Tom Brady and Gisele leaving St. Monica's church in Santa Monica after their first wedding (2/26)

Shots were fired at the wedding of Tom Brady and Gisele Saturday night in Costa Rica (their "show" wedding; the two were legally married last month in Santa Monica). Because when Costa Rican security guards say no pictures, they really fucking mean no pictures. From the Boston Herald:
According to two spokesmen for the INF photo agency, photographers were hiding in the brush near Gisele’s beachfront home taking pictures of the event when they were rousted by the newlyweds’ security guards.

The photographers, identified as Yuri and Rolando Cortez and Carlos Aviles, were marched up to Bundchen’s villa where they were ordered to surrender their still photos and video. The men refused and fled with the security guards in pursuit.

Two of the photographers ran to a waiting SUV and jumped in as a guard fired a shot at them. The bullet shattered the Suzuki’s rear window, passed between the two men in the front seat and bounced off the windshield.
Holy crap. Thank god shit like that isn't allowed here in America. A ton of paparazzi hang out in front of clubs such as Teddy's and Les Deux. Think of all the innocent bystanders that would be injured if guards and bouncers were to allowed to shoot at them. Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag are there all the time. Wait a minute . . .

UPDATE: is proud to announce that Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag are the winners of the "Send a Celebrity to Costa Rica" sweepstakes

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Bridget Moynahan and her son Jack in Pacific Palisades (3/26)

Bridget Moynahan's "camp" is not happy with that bitch Gisele telling Vanity Fair that Jack Moynahan -- the baby the actress had with Tom Brady before he married the supermodel -- was 100% hers. One of Bridget's friends told the New York Post:
"If Gisele loved Bridget's child like he was '100 percent her own,' then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom's virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever.

"Don't you think Jack will grow up and read her comments and find them disrespectful to him and his mother? If Tom is such a great father as everyone likes to say, then you would think that he'd respect the privacy of his young child and would ask his wife not to use his son as a publicity prop and a subject of public discussion. Is she is so desperate for attention that she can't find anything more productive to talk about other than Bridget's child?" (Source)
I think the only responsible thing to do here is let young Jack decide who he wants to be raised by. Behind Door #1 we have struggling actress Bridget Moynahan and her bitter, probably fat, friends. Behind Door #2 we have Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady and his supermodel wife Gisele who has tons of hot supermodel friends. Gee, I wonder who he'd choose?

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Gisele in Horizontina, Brazil (3/15)

It's illegal to just claim another woman's baby, right? Mind you, the biological mother is still alive. I'm not talking about an adoption. Well I think someone forgot to tell Gisele. The baby that her new husband Tom Brady had with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan in 2007? It's her's now. It's Gisele's. From Vanity Fair:
After John Edward Thomas Moynahan was born, in August 2007, Brady and Gisele began shuttling between Boston, where Brady’s football team is based, and Los Angeles, where Moynahan lives. "When we are in L.A. we have Johnny 50 percent of the time," Gisele says. "He’s a little angel—the sweetest, most cuddly, loving baby. I feel blessed to have him in my life."

Last year she and Brady purchased an $11.7 million plot of land in a gated community in Brentwood. Despite their commitment to spending time with John, however, Gisele has never met his mother. "I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent," Gisele says. "I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that’s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine. I already feel like he’s my son, from the first day." (Source)
What if this actually was legal? What if you could just claim another woman's baby simply because you were hotter. Ugly chicks would stop having babies. 1000 years from now, we'd be living in a society with just hot people. "Survival of the Fittest 34DDs" if you will. My god it's brilliant.

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