Tina Simpson

Jessica Simpson leaving her lawyer's office in Century City (5/25)

Damn, I hope Jessica Simpson gets me in the Christmas gift exchange this year. From Starpulse:

Jessica Simpson has splashed out on new cars for her parents. The generous pop star bought dad Joe a top-of-the-line Maybach, while mom Tina has been handed the keys to a Porsche 911. The total cost of the vehicles is reportedly $600,000.

As a former child star that's grown up in the entertainment industry, Jessica should know by now that giving her parents lavish gifts isn't going to make them any more affectionate towards her than they already are. The only thing that'll do that is love compassion another hit single.

*10 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

Jessica Simpson in Lake Tahoe last year

Remember when Jessica Simpson's dad Joe told GQ this in 2004:

"Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got DOUBLE Ds! You can't cover those suckers up!"

Not wanting to be left out on the daughter boob talk, Jessica's mom Tina twittered this to Ashlee on Tuesday:

@AshSimpsonWentz. Driving home in my GWagon with Jess...both are fast and top heavy!
7:48 PM Apr 14th from Yatca

What's wrong with this family? If it isn't Jessica's dad ogling her tits, it's her mom. Boasting about a girl's chest isn't something that's done by a responsible parent -- it's done by a boyfriend or neighbor with a telescopic lens. And since when has Jessica Simpson become "fast"?  If I remember correctly, she waited until she was married to put out. In my book, that isn't GWagon "fast," that's Geo Metro slow.