Recently in The Professional Vacationers Category

Nick Lachey should be popping the question to girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo any day now. The former boybander was seen shopping for engagement rings at Cartier's in Seattle. The National Enquirer reports:

Two items fascinated Nick: A platinum band with a solitaire princess-cut diamond called "Declaration," and a 5-carat emeraldcut stone set off by baguette diamonds. Nick told the salesgirl he wasn't ready to buy "just yet – but I think I've narrowed it down to two." (Source)

Wait a minute, Nick's really dating Vanessa Minnillo? Seriously? I thought he was kidding. Kinda like how Rosie O'Donnell used to always act crazy about Tom Cruise but everyone knew she was joking around because if she had to list her favorite things in the world, it would go 1. hot dogs, and 2. vagina.

You really can't blame me for thinking this dude is gay. According to my 26 years of experience, straight dudes don't wear ten pounds of hair gel, dump rich blondes for beat up Eurasians, and drink daiquiris. Unless you're Richard Simmons. Don't let his appearance fool you--that guy will rip your fucking heart out and not think twice about it.

NOTE: You can take this gossip to the bank. The Enquirer is never wrong about this sort of thing.

Remember last month when those pics of Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey getting it on in Mexico swept across the Internet? Though the pics were all censored, you could tell what was going on (Nick loves staring at the back of Vanessa's head if you catch my drift). Unfortunately celeb-friendly OK! magazine stepped in and purchased the pics for a reported $500,000, thereby ensuring they'd never be published. Fast forward to today when I found these pics of the couple floating around a message board I frequent. It's certainly Nick and Vanessa. The pics could be photoshopped. I just don't know. What I do know is that Bounty paper towels hold up to the biggest spills and toughest messes so I can the job done right the first time.