Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift's Disgusted Reaction

Taylor Swift's disgusted reaction to Justin Bieber kissing Selena Gomez at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Taylor Swift leaving her hotel in New York (3/27)

Expect Taylor Swift's next breakup song to be surfing related. Via Contact Music:

Taylor Swift has found herself a surfer boy. The "I Knew You Were Trouble" warbler has reportedly moved on from One Direction stud Harry Styles with Hawaiian surfer John John Florence - nicknamed JJ - who she first met on a trip to Australia last November.

A source told Britain's Grazia magazine: "Taylor really hit it off with JJ when she was in Oz. She thought he was great fun, but it was around the same time she reignited her romance with Harry Styles, so she put it on a back-burner.

"Taylor got in touch with JJ when she split from Harry and they went on a date when he was in America. Taylor and JJ both travel a lot for work but have planned a second date this month. Taylor seems extremely keen on JJ. He's quite different to anyone she's dated in the past, and while he's in the spotlight, it's his prowess as a surfer that she admires."

I'd love to bang Taylor just once. Not simply for the carnal pleasure of the act or how much it would help my website, but I really want to know if "It's a small world (after all)" starts to play when I enter her. Good Lord, even the blokes down under get to ride Chipotle Tuna Rapids. Sure, JJ is gonna enjoy the spoils of being Taylor's plumber, but it's just summer lust. Eventually nature runs its course, the inevitable dumping happens, and Johnny Utah gets immortalized in a Country Music Award-winning song about tears and kangaroos and sunscreen.

*15 Taylor Swift sweater puppies pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Saturday, March 16 and Sunday, March 17

Taylor Swift on the set of a music video in Downtown L.A. (pics start here)

Katharine McPhee arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Nicollette Sheridan leaving a medical building in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Isla Fisher leaving Starbucks in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Charlize Theron arriving at Disney Studios in Burbank (pics start here)

Reggie Bush's girlfriend Lilit Avagyan leaving a beauty school in Glendale, CA (pics start here)

Lisa Kudrow leaving Madeo restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jessica Simpson leaving Don Cuco Mexican Restaurant in Studio City (pics start here)

LeAnn Rimes leaving her hotel in London (pics start here)

Kirsten Dunst out and about in Hollywood (pics start here)

Karolina Kurkova out and about in New York (pics start here)

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley on her way to a juice bar in Malibu (pics start here)

*113 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Taylor Swift leaving the Groucho Club in London (2/22)

Despite her denials, turns out that Taylor Swift did actually buy a house last summer near her boyfriend of a week or so Conor Kennedy, according to the real estate agent who just helped her sell it for $1 million more than she bought it for. Hah! Joke's on you, Taylor! Now we all know you're a tremendous businesswoman! From E!:

Despite being coy in Vanity Fair about buying the Hyannis Port, Mass., house near the Kennedy compound while dating Conor Kennedy last summer, realtor Bob Kinlin tells E! News that he did in fact sell the house to Swift. The chart-topping singer avoided answering the question during her interview for the mag, saying, "Apparently I buy houses near every boy I like."

But Kinlin, who sold the house last August to Swift, told us that the young singer snagged the Cape Code style, seven bedroom home for $4.8 million, in the name of the Ocean Drive LLC, registered to a Nashville manager Jesse P. Schaudies Jr. of Swift's 13 Management company. He also told us that Swift turned around and sold the property two weeks ago, making almost $1 million in profit after having the home for only seven months.

Down housing market? Says who? Taylor sold Chateau le Stalker and made a cool million, whereas I couldn't sell my '91 Buick Skylark on eBay without throwing in a complimentary handjob. That's a hell of an accomplishment in this day and age. Don't get me wrong, I'm not joining Team Swift anytime soon, but maybe I'll just try the shirt on to see how it fits.

*25 Taylor Swift pictures total in the gallery:

Taylor Swift leaving The Universal Music Brits Party at Soho House in London (2/21)

If you play an instrument or have ever sang, Taylor Swift desperately wants to have sex with you. Her next target: anyone from The Lumineers. Via Contact Music:

Taylor Swift is already moving on from One Direction's Harry Styles, setting her sights on a member of country rockers The Lumineers. According to Hollywood Life.com, Taylor isn't bothered which one of the guys she dates, so long as they're a signed up member of the band, who were nominated for Best New Artist at the Grammy Awards 2013.

A source close to the 23-year-old revealed, "Taylor would love to date one one of the guys from The Lumineers. She's embarrassed about all of the Harry drama, and is definitely looking for someone who is more down-to-earth and away from the Hollywood lifestyle. She thinks they are all cute and talented, and she loves their album." Watch out guys! Taylor Swift is coming for you, and she usually doesn't take no for an answer. The source added, "Their country vibe is great and she thinks it would be a good mix."

I've finally figured this girl out. Taylor Swift is a fame dishwasher, meaning anyone who gets a moderate amount of Google mentions can drop loads into her. This behavior is strange considering that Taylor's been famous for long enough that she can stop being a groupie -- not that I'm judging her. Hell, it wouldn't bother me if she got plowed by ALL of the Lumineers, including the chick . . . now that I think about it, Taylor could do worse than lez out with that Neyla Pekarek chick. I'd definitely pay to see that leaked video.

*16 Taylor Swift pictures total in the gallery:

Taylor Swift at the Brit Awards at the 02 Arena in London (2/20)

Taylor Swift has fat toes. That is all.

*30 Taylor Swift pictures total in the gallery:

Carrie Underwood at the 55th Annual Grammy Awards at the Staples Center in L.A. (2/10)

Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift are still fighting in that bitchy way that girls do, and avoided each other at Sunday's Grammys like Lindsay Lohan avoids employment. I know it's not exactly Biggie vs. Tupac, but I could easily see one of these chicks getting shot. From Us Weekly:

Taylor Swift never, ever wants to hang out with Carrie Underwood. A source tells Us Weekly that the country stars [avoided] each other at Sunday's 2013 Grammy Awards. According to the insider, Grammy execs were ordered to keep Swift, 23, and Underwood, 29, "from crossing paths" at the Feb. 10 show "since they hate each other!"

Says a Swift pal, "Taylor feels Carrie is always rude to her, so she steers clear of her."

Now we officially know that the empty suits at CBS are eunuchs. Seriously, if I was running the Grammys and I knew Taylor and Carrie hated each other this intensely, I'd cancel the awards part entirely and have those two fight in a kiddie pool full of hot oil, gummy bears, and sex toys on PPV. I don't know if it would break any buy rate records, but I'm sure there would be a hairy palms and blindness epidemic occurring in males, ages 12-80, and female college basketball coaches.

*22 Carrie Underwod pictures total in the gallery:

Taylor Swift leaving a friend's house in Pacific Palisades (1/8)

Taylor Swift says all the stories we've been reading about her over the past year are lies, and if you believe any of them, you're a stupid ugly fucking asshole. OK, those aren't *exactly* the words she used, but you could totally tell that's what she meant. She told the Spanish TV show El Hormiguero:

"People say that I'm buying houses all the time that I'm not buying. It's like every time the press thinks I like a guy, they say I am buying a house next to them. And also they think they know what I'm getting people for Christmas, which they don't. I was thinking when I saw that one (rumor) that if they actually got it right I would be so sad because they would have blown my Christmas present, but they were all wrong."

I speak for myself and not for the rest of you commoners when I say that the rumors I've been reporting relentlessly have little to do with Taylor's dopey gifts or her pseudo-stalkerish living arrangements. After Kanye West went all ghetto on her a few years ago, her vagina has seen more collar-popping douchebags in it than the Times Square Abercrombie & Fitch. It's a bit late for Taylor to push this new image of her as a sad, gaping hole desperately looking for a fillin'.

*6 Taylor Swift pictures total in the gallery:

Taylor Swift at the "40 Principales Music Awards" in Madrid, Spain (1/24)

MY CAPTION: "Oh goody, Black Dicks/White Chicks is my favorite genre of porn!"

YOUR CAPTION: Leave it in the comments...

*21 Taylor Swift pictures total in the gallery:

Taylor Swift and her breast implants at the 39th Annual People's Choice Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live (1/9)

According to the new In Touch Weekly, Taylor Swift may have gotten breast implants. Their proof? Well it sorta looks like her boobs are bigger. And you can take that to the bank!:

It seems like Taylor Swift, 23, rounded out a record breaking 2012 with, well, some rounder assets. When the star stepped out at the People's Choice Awards on Jan. 9, all eyes were on her cleavage-bearing neckline. (Was she trying to show ex-boyfriend Harry Styles what he's missing?)

Either way, she got the attention of NYC-based plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Fiorillo (who, like the other doctor in this story, has not treated these stars). He says it looks like Taylor went from an A-cup to a full B. The telltale sign? "You can see the implants," he says. (Print Edition - January 28)

Good for Taylor for upgrading to a full B-cup. Grandpa tells me that women with A-cups are dark-hearted evil beings and will steal your soul while you're sleeping. Eeeeeeeek!

*25 Taylor Swift pictures total in the gallery: