Tara Reid

Tara Reid drunk at Coachella last month

You know you've hit rock bottom in life when Tara Reid of all people is taking shits on you. From TMZ:

Tara Reid is no fan of Lindsay Lohan ... and Lindsay Lohan ain't too fond of Tara either ... so says the "American Pie" star. Tara hosted "TMZ on TV" yesterday ... and told us she and LiLo have some serious issues, despite the fact they run in the same social circles.

"We don't really like each other that much," Reid said ... "If I get drunk, I'm a happy drunk. When she gets drunk, she's just mean."

Yes! I finally get to put my promoter's license to use in America (no more Tijuana donkey shows for this fella). There comes a time where has-beens cross paths and differences need settling -- in blood and leaked silicone. I've already rented out a bingo hall in Bethlehem, PA and billed it as "Valtrexmania," see your local ex dealer for tickets. The Tara Reid and Lindsay Lohan feud has been brewing since 1997 -- which coincidentally was "Year of the Burning Vaginal Discharge" on the zodiac calendar. I know it'll be a great fight, my only concern is how to call a stoppage in case of injury considering the amount of botox injected into their mugs. Ah, who am I kidding -- between the booze and the illegal Rx, these two idiots are pretty much pickled.

*5 Tara Reid pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Friday, March 15

Tara Reid at the "Park Place: A Solo Show By Alec Monopoly" At LAB ART in L.A. (pics start here)

Demi Moore leaving a nail salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Demi Lovato on the set of the music video for her single Heart Attack in downtown L.A. (pics start here)

Emmy Rossum out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Sienna Miller out and about in New York (pics start here)

Selena Gomez leaving Chipotle in Sherman Oaks (pics start here)

LeAnn Rimes leaving ITV Studios in London (pics start here)

Maria Menounos at the "Makeover for Mutts" fundraiser at the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Katharine McPhee out and about in New York (pics start here)

Emma Stone on the set of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 in Manhattan (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Alicia Keys arriving to host an event at Nordstrom in L.A. (pics start here)

*102 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Monday, November 5

Tara Reid leaving C restaurant in London (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale leaving the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel (pics start here)

Kelly Ripa and her husband Mark Consuelos out and about in New York (pics start here)

Lori Loughlin arriving for a flight at Vancouver International Airport (pics start here)

Jessica Alba leaving Le Pain Quotidien in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Keira Knightley leaving Groucho Club in London (pics start here)

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck leaving a coffee shop in Brentwood (pics start here)

Gabrielle Union at a student voter kick-off drive at Florida Memorial University (pics start here)

Leslie Bibb out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Gerard Butler arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

January Jones leaving a friend's house in L.A. (pics start here)

Nick Lachey running errands in L.A. (pics start here)

*113 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Tara Reid leaving Annabel's private members restaurant in Mayfair, London (10/2)

Who do you think has better coordination when walking? Jessica Simpson's five-month-old daughter Maxwell? Or Tara Reid after two hours inside a nightclub?

*25 Tara Reid pictures total in the gallery:

Tara Reid in St. Tropez (7/27)

I don't know how this is possible, but Tara Reid -- who basically earned minimum wage for the last movie she was in -- has spent what seems like the past month in the South of France. That's her boarding a yacht earlier today, presumably after spending the morning at a check cashing store. "Hey Francois, it's Tara again."

*15 Tara Reid pictures total in the gallery:

Tara Reid on a yacht in St. Tropez Harbour (7/15)

Tara Reid says she's doing fine today after being taken to the hospital over the weekend in St. Tropez for "food poisoning" wink wink. She tweeted:

"Don't worry everyone I'm all good and heathy I got a seafood poisening and hurt my back on the jetski but I'm all better thanks for caring!"

Of course everyone immediately assumed that "food poisoning" was a euphemism for "liver damage via pirate shot," but Tara says that's not the case:

"Everyone these stories I'm reading about myself are not true I got hurt on a jetski and went to the hospital to get x ray and I'm fine."

First of all, judging by her twitter page ("By the way to all you hayers I lobe my adidas track sits when you are going on the small boat to the big one it protects u from getting wet!" -- she actually wrote that), Tara Reid is half-fucking-retarded, so whoever let her take a 700 pound boat out into the Mediterranean should be charged with a crime. And second of all, drunkenly collapsing into a pile of your own piss and vomit on a yacht at sea because you didn't eat enough food earlier in the day doesn't count as "seafood poisoning." It means you lack self-confidence and use alcohol as a filter between you and society because you're afraid the real you isn't someone society wants to be around. Oh, did I get a little too deep for you there, Tara?

*20 Tara Reid pictures total in the gallery:

Tara Reid at Nioulargo Beach in St. Tropez (7/9)

When you think "South of France" you immediately think "money" so it's really weird that Tara Reid is there all the fucking time. Like yesterday when she was spotted in St. Tropez. Show business is weird like that. Even people who don't seemingly make money somehow have money. If it made any sense whatsoever, these pictures of her would have been taken in Detroit. And she would have been panhandling for bus fare.

*15 Tara Reid bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Tara Reid out and about in Milan, Italy (6/20)

Tara Reid was spotted shopping in Milan, Italy on Wednesday, and I think Flynet is being nice when they called her "tired looking." I've seen chicks at the end of gangbang pornos who looked fresher than that. Aw Jesus, I hope my mom's not reading the site today . . .

*15 Tara Reid pictures total in the gallery:

Tara Reid and her melting stomach

Tara Reid tells the new issue of Reveal magazine that plastic surgeons wreaking havoc on her body over the years has been a good learning experience. Yes, of course. Quote via Contact Music:

"I think when people are so hard on you, you start getting hard on yourself. You start getting a little paranoid. But you have to back off to a certain degree. What can you really change? Yes, there are a million things you would say you'd do different but you learn from those life lessons. That defines you as a character. Perhaps I haven't made the best decisions in the past, but at the time you don't know any different As you get older you can look back and says, 'OK, 'I'm gonna learn from that experienced and grown from a lot of the experiences I've been through.'"

Why would Tara wish she could do a million things differently? Every single one of her decisions gets an A+ in my book. Tara Reid is still the biggest star that ever came out of that horse shit American Pie franchise. I know, Sean William Scott seems pretty cool and the chick that stuck a flute in her pussy has a sitcom now, but if you had to remember a single castmember by name, who do you think of? It's Tara Reid, motherfuckers. And remember, Tara wasn't the star of the movie, it was the pie-fucker . . . what's his name? Oh that's right, the original Shia LaBeouf. Personally, I think we owe Tara a debt of gratitude. Before Paris, Britney, Lindsay, and Kim, there was Tara, drunkenly blazing a trail of self-destruction for all to follow. You could say she's the Rosa Parks of shameless attention whores . . . wait, did Rosa Parks ever get drunk and flash her cooter?

*26 Tara Reid pictures total in the gallery:

Tara Reid leaving a yacht in Cannes, France (5/21)

What, did you really think I'd do only one post this week about Tara Reid being drunk? C'mon, you know me better than that. Anyways, that's Tara leaving a yacht party on Monday night at the Cannes Film Festival -- or, as Tara calls it: France Spring Break! Woo hoo!

*5 Tara Reid pictures total in the gallery: