Suri's cake being delivered to her party (4/18)
Tom Cruise dropped $100k on a birthday party for daughter Suri last friday (pics here). $17k was dropped on flowers and another $5k was spent on a four-tiered cake for Suri and personalized cakes for each of the 24 guests. In Touch Weekly says:
But later that night, an insider reveals that Tom and Katie invited their A-list pals, including David and Victoria Beckham, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, Eva Longoria Parker, and Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy to a second celebration. "The catering bill for the two parties cost Tom more than $45,000," reveals the insider, who adds that Tom asked his friend, celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck, to cater the events."It was a great party," says an attendee. "Suri was in a really great mood and loved having all the balloons around.”
In other news, I siphoned almost a half a tank of gas out of the neighbor's car last night before I had to stop because a little went down my throat.
Suri Cruise was photographed yesterday walking around the French resort she's staying at with her parents (Tom and Katie are in town for the wedding of Australian media mogul [and Scientologist] James Packer). You figure if Suri's walking by one, she should be running by two. So look for her escape attempt to occur sometime between June and July of next year. Wait ... can two-year-olds climb walls?
Katie Holmes bikini pics
I've never discredited a story so quickly but it looks like you can put those Katie Holmes pregnancy rumors to rest (the ones I wrote about 45 minutes ago). The svelte first lady of Scientology was photographed today with daughter Suri at a beach near the famous Hotel du Cap, in Antibes on the French Riviera. I don't know about you but I think it was pretty damn nice of my grandma to loan Katie her swimsuit.
Click here to jump to page of Katie Holmes at the beach (14 more pictures)...
NOTE: In case you missed some of the past SUMMER IS HERE posts:
Gemma Atkinson
Natasha Hamilton
Celine Dion
Serena Williams
Brooke Burke
Click here to jump to page of Katie Holmes at the beach (14 more pictures)...
This picture of Suri Cruise is probably the cutest thing you'll see all day. Except for that girl scout locked in my attic. "I need water ... the spiders are biting me ... I miss my mommy ... these handcuffs are too small for my wrist" Kids today! They grow up so fast!
A "walking and talking" Suri Cruise had a very normal first birthday last Wednesday at the Cruise family compound in Beverly Hills. According to a source close to the family, partygoers (including Katie's mother and grandmothers; and Tom's sister and grandmother) dined on pizza and cupcakes from a local bakery: "By the end of the party Tom, Katie and Suri were wearing chocolate." People magazine adds:
Dragonfly and butterfly piñatas were also part of the entertainment. Suri received a gym set for the backyard along with a stack of books, balls and dolls. (Source)
What the hell? Those are the kinds of presents normal babies get, not the spawn of Tom Cruise. And what's with the piñatas? Where's the traditional sacrifice of a nonbeliever followed by fruit punch? Can you even really call it a Scientology birthday party without the sacrifice of a nonbeliever followed by fruit punch? I say no.
Yep, batshit insane, just like the headline says. From Ben Widdicombe of the New York Daily News:
Suri Cruise is not even 1 year old, but the young diva has a hair appointment every single week, says an insider, "She is always naked and no one's allowed to talk around the baby."(Source)
I forget, is it nature or nurture that’s the bigger factor in causing insanity? Either way Suri is screwed. She'll be wearing a lampshade and proclaiming herself King of England by her seventh birthday. By ten Suri will be so far over the edge she’ll start worshipping Xenu:
“the alien ruler of the ‘Galactic Confederacy’ who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of people to Earth in spacecraft resembling Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living. The alien souls continue to do this today, causing a variety of physical ill-effects in modern-day humans.” (Source)
I'm just kidding, no one's that crazy!
Splash News
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were forced to cut their honeymoon short because of bad weather. The two, along with Baby Suri, were spending time aboard the Yacht Arctic P just outside of the Maldives:
[Suri] was looking very cute as she arrived with her mum and dad at Male International Airport in the Maldives. The family flew home in the early hours in Tom's private Gulf Stream jet, where I'm sure they spent the journey planning another honeymoon.
Tom Cruise at Male International Airport? Are you fucking kidding me? That's almost too perfect. It's like Paris Hilton moving to a city named Whoreville. And who takes a baby on a honeymoon anyways? Honeymoons are supposed to be all about anal, liquor, crotchless panties, and anal.
Let's just hope that Tom doesn't take the rainy weather as a sign from the Scientology Gods that he has to ritually sacrifice Suri when he gets back to Los Angeles. That doesn't make sense? Well neither does this, this, or this.
[Image Source]
Notice how you can't see her feet. That's because she has 14 toes.
Why is she wearing a toupee?
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
A family taking a tour of Hollywood homes "accidentally" ended up on the doorstep of Tom Cruise's house. And who did they run into? None other than Katie Holmes and Suri "the Loch Ness monster's existence is more well documented than mine" Cruise!:
The man, who asked to be identified only as "Frank," and his girlfriend were visiting the girlfriend's brother and sister-in-law, who live two blocks from Cruise's Beverly Hills home, and went on a tour of some local stars’ homes. When they arrived at Cruise's house, one of them hit the buzzer on the security gate, and -- much to their surprise -- it opened. They started driving up the driveway and the first security guard waved them on. They couldn't turn around because the driveway was narrow, so they drove to the top.When they arrived at the top, they saw Katie Holmes holding -- you guessed it -- the ever-elusive Suri in her arms. Frank says he and his companions were no more than five feet from the baby, and he tells TMZ that Suri looked "cute" and "perfectly normal." Tom, meanwhile, was playing with two older children (presumably Isabella, 13, and Conor, 11) on the lawn.
I always pictured Tom's security system looking something like the Berlin Wall circa 1971 only with more suit-wearing androids that shoot laser beams out of their eyes. After all, he's a multi-kazillionaire Hollywood-star who can afford suit-wearing androids that shoot laser beams out of their eyes. Can't really fault Tom's security too much as it's doing a great job keeping Katie from making a mad dash to freedom.
[WENN]
Suri Cruise
...will have to wait until the Vanity Fair spread. Until then, courtesy of x17, enjoy this awesome picture of Tom Cruise's window--now with possible Suri goodness! In case you're having trouble deciphering the picture, that flesh-looking blob in the middle might be Suri, or it might just be a piñata left over from last month's Scientology membership drive. I'm pretty sure that thing in the bottom left corner is one of those huge foam novelty hands that says "Scientology #1."
I've also thrown in a pic of Katie Holmes pondering her escape (trust me Katie, the dogs will get you before you hit the main gate):
NOTE: I'm not sure why so many people think Scientologists are crazy...
Update (9/6): Suri Cruise Finally Revealed
