Suri Cruise

Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, and Suri Cruise heading to dinner at Buddakan restaurant in New York (12/18)

Is it "wrong" and "inappropriate" to want to punch a 5-year-old little girl? If you think it is, you may reevaluate your position once you read this story about Suri Cruise's recent trip to the ice skating rink at Rockefeller Center:

[Tom] Cruise shelled out $5,000 to rent out the rink's "Igloo," a VIP-like area where paying customers can bypass the lines and warm up after taking a spin on the ice.

"Tom rented it for an entire session so no one else could use it," the source said.

The admission price for the hour-and-a-half session runs $75 a person. However the Cruise-Holmes clan isn’t your average customer. In fact, the source tells us Suri’s famous parents snubbed the venue’s refreshments and opted to cater their own family day with gourmet treats. TomKat had hot chocolate from Serendipity 3 and sweets from Jacques Torres brought in "especially for Suri," said the insider.

Awe, this must have been a Hallmark moment if ever there was one. In my humble opinion, it's a story straight out of Martha Stewart Living or Blueboy Magazine (depending on your point of view). What's sweeter than Tom Cruise and family big-timing it over the mouth-breathers trying to enjoy a holiday moment? Not inviting Connor or Isabella, for one. What? Who are they, you ask? Those are Tom and Nicole Kidman's rent-a-family. Now that Tom has a real kid and Nicole got some seed to stick, they don't need the accessories anymore. It's a shame when you think about it. I'm sure Connor and Isabella can use a little extra scratch this time of year -- Xenu knows (yeah, I went there) that Suri could use another bellhop or dressing assistant.

*19 Suri Cruise pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, August 16

Suri Cruise out and about in New York (pics start here)

Sarah Michelle Gellar filming Ringer in Malibu (pics start here)

Miss Australia Jesinta Campbell at the Australian premiere of Horrible Bosses in Sydney (pics start here)

Michael Jordan and his girlfriend Yvette Prieto out and about in Porto Cervo, Italy (pics start here)

Cheryl Burke (Dancing with the Stars) doing an interview for Extra at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

Rebecca Gayheart leaving a restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale heading to a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Robert Redford arriving on a flight at Vancouver International Airport (pics start here)

Vera Farmiga at the premiere of Higher Ground in New York (pics start here)

Keanu Reeves arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Jack Osbourne out and about in Hollywood (pics start here)

America Ferrera and her husband Ryan Piers Williams leaving the Greek Theater in L.A. (pics start here)

Emma Roberts and Chord Overstreet at Disneyland in Anaheim (pics start here)

*116 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Suri Cruise leaving Science World in Vancouver, Canada (2/9)

Suri Cruise has accomplished more in 5 years than I have in 30. Kill self? From the New York Daily News:

A younger woman has edged out style mavens Sarah Jessica Parker, Cate Blanchett, Lady Gaga and Nicole Richie, according to Glamour magazine's UK readers.

It's Suri Cruise. She's 5 years-old.

The daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, came in at No. 21 of Glamour UK's Best Dressed Women of 2011. She may not be quite old enough to dress herself but still, she has been spotted sporting a $850 Salvatore Ferragamo purse, Ray Ban sunglasses, Marc Jacobs shoes and a Burberry coat.

If Suri's parents are so concerned with what clothes she's wearing, instead of having a baby, they should have just done what Tom wanted to do in the first place: bought a doll. That way, they could have spent the same amount of money dressing it up in Marc Jacobs shoes and Burberry coats, but Tom wouldn't have had to waste his time jerking off into a turkey baster.

*10 Suri Cruise pictures total in the gallery:

Suri Cruise in Vancouver (2/3)

+ This week in Showtime boobs [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Zac Efron is banging some hot ass [IDLYITW]
+ Emma Stone was sort of a nerd in high school [Celebuzz]
+ Anja Rubik is topless (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Miley Cyrus is getting Amy Winehouse's sloppy seconds [Just Jared]

+ The most manly Justin Bieber has ever looked [Dlisted]
+ Another celeb gets naked for PETA [PopEater]
+ Audrina Patridge needs to eat a cheeseburger [Derek Hail]
+ Hah, what a pussy! [Evil Beet]

LIST OF THE DAY: 8 Terrifying McDonald's Commercials You Forgot About

*22 Suri Cruise pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Saturday, November 27 and Sunday, November 28

Katie Holmes and her daughter Suri Cruise at Teuscher Chocolates of Switzerland in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Landon Donovan in Sydney, Australia (pics start here)

David Hasselhoff at LAX airport (pics start here)

Kim Kardashian leaving a gym in L.A. (pics start here)

Ashlee Simpson and her husband Pete Wentz leaving Whole Foods in Sherman Oaks (pics start here)

Kylie Minogue at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC (pics start here)

Nicole Richie leaving the Tracy Anderson gym in Studio City (pics start here)

Model Daisy Lowe at the Ultimat Vodka launch party held at Jalouse nightclub in London (pics start here)

Anna Paquin leaving the Bryon & Tracey Salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Paris Hilton leaving Jimmy Kimmel Live! studios in L.A. (pics start here)

Megan Gale promoting her swimwear line "Isola" at Sunburn Bikini Shop at Bondi Beach in Sydney (pics start here)

Harrison Ford at a gas station in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Claudia Schiffer out and about in London (pics start here)

*126 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Suri out and about in Boston (10/4)

Katie Holmes somehow convinced Tom Cruise to enroll their daughter Suri in a Catholic -- not a Scientologist -- pre-school. Clearly Katie has a set of incriminating photos of Tom giving a lap dance to a firefighter locked away in a safe somewhere. From the Daily Mail:

. . . last week Katie enrolled the toddler at the Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning in Boston, Massachusetts. The family are living in the city while Tom, 47, films his new movie, the spy comedy thriller Wichita. Katie’s mother also flew in for her granddaughter’s first week at the pre-school.

"Katie has been listening to her parents who are devout Catholics," I’m told. "She is not convinced by Scientology and has told Tom that she wants Suri to be educated as a Catholic - as she was. They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly - but Tom came around to the idea in the end."

Holmes, 30, has not been seen at the Church of Scientology for more than five months.

It's good to see Katie putting her foot down about something as important as religion. At least now, instead of being brainwashed by a ridiculous cult that teaches about airplanes flying through outer space, aliens, and mind-control, Suri will be taught about something much more believable -- a guy who was conceived without sex, came back to life three days after being killed, and then nailed 72 virgins. Wait, I think I'm mixing my religions again . . .

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise out and about in Boston (9/21)

Suri Cruise's wardrobe -- she's three-years-old last time I checked -- is worth more than most of us will make a lifetime. From The Sun:

Tom Cruise's three-year-old daughter Suri has a wardrobe of designer clothes worth £2MILLION ($3.2 million).

Actor Tom, 47, and wife Katie Holmes, 30, have commissioned the world's top fashion names to custom-make outfits for their toddler.

An insider said: "They really splurge on Suri." The pair's pal Victoria Beckham is also said to have commissioned designer Robert Cavalli to make a dress for Suri.

The source added: "Suri is very vocal when it comes to outfits. She's rarely seen in anything twice."

In related news, half of my wardrobe consists of shirts I received for signing up for credit cards. Fuck my life.

Suri's starting school

Suri Cruise must be the luckiest kid out there. When I was a kid, I would have killed to go to a school where we talked about aliens and spaceships all day. From the Daily Mail:

Tom and Katie Cruise’s doll-like daughter Suri is to be trained in Scientology after her third birthday this week. The Cruises are sending their daughter five days a week to the Church of Scientology’s £6,000-a-year New Village Academy in Los Angeles, launched last year by Tom’s friend, fellow actor Will Smith. It is staffed by trained Scientologists and lists ‘study technology’ as a key curricular focus.

"The children have a lot of responsibilities from a very young age," says a source. "The school is particularly strict about nutrition, demanding a low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet. Katie is understandably  a little anxious about being separated from Suri."

I hope for Suri's sake she's enjoying these last few precious moments of freedom. Because in just a matter of hours, she'll begin the brainwashing that'll leave her more lobotomized than Audrina Patridge and with less free will than the U.N. It'd be nice if Suri's diet actually did consist of "low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar" . . . but I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that human hearts contain loads of sodium and a ton of carbs.