Recently in Steven Tyler Category

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Steven Tyler and actor Chuck Slavin at a liquor store in Boston (8/16)

He's now an 82-year-old woman. Dammit, I knew I should have seen Aerosmith in concert when I still had the chance!


Steven Tyler ruins clam chowder

Now I can never enjoy the deliciousness that is clam chowder ever again. Asshole. From his interview with Elle:
ELLE: In Walk This Way, the oral history of Aerosmith, the band's
engineer, Rabbit Hansen, said that band members weren't to accept oral
sex for the last 10 days of tour so as not to spread venereal diseases
to girlfriends at home.

STEVEN TYLER: That wasn't the band's rule. You didn't have sex for 10 days at
the end of tour, but that was so you'd be sure to go home with a full
cup of chowder. If you didn't, you were definitely suspect.

ELLE: Women know that men touch themselves. Isn't that a good excuse
for, uh, low chowder levels?

ST: That only holds with a woman the first couple times. (Source)
Considering the number of dirty women Steven's been with, if you're like me, the first thing you were probably wondering after reading this article was whether his "chowder" resembled New England style or had more of a Manhattan hue. What doesn't make sense about Tyler's reasoning is that everyone knows that STDs don't just disappear after 10 days. They can reappear when you least expect it -- like when you're nervous, exposed to too much sun, or even that one time when you finally got up the courage to ask out that one chick from HR who always wears those seductive boots and mini-skirt when it's freezing outside but still manages to somehow pull it off without coming across too slutty because of those glasses she likes to wear on Tuesdays . . . even THEN, you can get a god damn flare up. Thanks a lot drunken trip to Thailand!

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Steven Tyler is in rehab

Steven Tyler is in rehab

Aerosmith's Steven Tyler checked himself into rehab. Maybe. E! says:

While Tyler's rep told E! News he had no knowledge of the rehab rumor, according to various reports, the 60-year-old artist is currently undergoing treatment for undisclosed substance abuse at Las Encinas Hospital drug rehabilitation clinic, the same facility where star M.D. Drew Pinsky treats patients and where his recent flock of Celebrity Rehabbers attempted to sober up. (Source)

So is he in rehab? I don't know. The massive quantity of drugs this guy has done in his life, I don't even think he knows at this point. I'm sure if you asked him what year it was, his answer would be "Cat."