Archive: Steve Irwin

Turns out that Steve Irwin’s “Ocean’s Deadliest” will air after all. Reaching up from the grave like Tupac releasing his fifth postmortem album, the movie chronicles everything up to Irwin’s death.

Footage in the one-off special was recorded in the weeks and days leading up to Irwin’s death, though nothing shot the day of his fatal accident will be included in the documentary.

The fatal accident won’t be in the documentary? That’s like seeing 95% of a breast, and no nipple — unsatisfying. You know that everyone would have DVR’d the documentary and fast forwarded all the way to the death scene anyway. It kind of reminds me of that 1,200 page document released on the Clinton impeachment, where no one read shit except the juicy “cigarsex” bits. Props to Irwin’s friend and manager John Stainton for respecting Irwin’s deeds. Too bad Bindi, his daughter, is about to be pimped out to American media like a virgin Jon Benet.

PETA predictably shows no sympathy about the tragic death of Steve Irwin:

Some animal lovers aren’t shedding any crocodile tears for Steve Irwin. The Aussie naturalist, known as the Crocodile Hunter, was killed last week by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. But the folks at PETA are neither surprised nor upset by his passing.

“It comes as no shock at all that Steve Irwin should die provoking a dangerous animal,” PETA’s Dan Mathews tells The Scoop. “He made a career out of antagonizing frightened wild animals, which is a very dangerous message to send to kids.” Does Irwin’s career as a naturalist impress the animal-rights group? Says Mathews: “If you compare him with a responsible conservationist like Jacques Cousteau, he looks like a cheap reality TV star.”

Well now I know why PETA wouldn’t grant me an interview when I applied last year (they had an opening for “guy who throws paint on rich peoples’ fur coats”). On the application under “career goals” I listed “to antagonize frightened wild animals and send dangerous messages to children” and under “previous experience” I listed “cheap reality star.” Oh well. My ninja-like paint throwing skills would certainly have sent me soaring up the ranks of the PETA administration.

Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin let it be known that, should his death come before the camera, he wanted the world to see it:

Irwin was filming for a new documentary when he lost his life, and his cameraman shot the moment when the stingray’s barbed tail stabbed the legendary conservationist through the heart. The tapes are currently being held by Queensland police - but Irwin’s family are determined to respect his last wishes and allow the harrowing footage to be broadcast.

Irwin once insisted, “My number one rule is to keep that camera rolling. Even if it’s shaky or slightly out of focus, I don’t give a rip. “Even if a big old alligator is chewing me up I want to go down and go, ‘Crikey!’ just before I die. That would be the ultimate for me.” An insider tells British newspaper the Daily Star, “This is exactly what Steve would have wanted. He knew the dangers and was totally up for the cameras to get everything.”

Benjamin Franklin used to be my favorite Australian. But then I saw Crocodile Dundee and Paul Hogan knocked Ben off the list (inventing electricity is cool and all but Paul Hogan just has a certain cachet to him). After reading about Irwin’s cavalier attitude toward his own death, he’s now my favorite Austrian. Right behind Arnold Schwarzenegger and Ignaz Semmelweis. RIP Steve.

Stingray? WTF?