George Clooney and Stacy Keibler driving around Lake Como in Italy
Not only did Stacy Keibler not get dumped by George Clooney (they attended the premiere of Argo
together last night in Beverly Hills), but she's actually living with him. Bitch better not give him any shit about leaving the toilet seat up. From Life & Style
Stacy Keibler has moved in with George Clooney, her beau of 15 months. "She's 100 percent moved in," an insider tells the new issue of Life & Style. "She spends her summers with him in Lake Como, Italy, and all her stuff is at his place in LA."
The insider says that while Stacy, 32, maintains a small rent-controlled apartment in West Hollywood, she uses it as a storage space for mementos and personal items. "All her clothes are at George's, and she never goes home."
Cohabitation is a big step for George, 51, but the insider insists The Descendants star is the one doing the pursuing. "Stacy is his dream woman!"
Look, George is an A-lister extraordinaire, but he is 51-years-old. It doesn't take half-a-century for a man to learn how to accept women into his life, especially when so many are perfectly happy to be his squeeze toy. Nope, Old Man Clooney needs that special gal who's so hot that it makes him look like a stud, and is also willing to change a diaper or two after an accident. No, I don't mean he wants kids. I mean he's old and shits himself.*20 Stacy Keibler and George Clooney pictures total in the gallery:
George Clooney and Stacy Keibler in Lugano, Switzerland
Despite reports to the contrary, George Clooney didn't dump Stacy Keibler . . . yet. From the Daily Mail
[George Clooney's] rep has now denied a story run by British newspaper The Sun, which alleged that the Hollywood star had ended his romance with the stunning former WWE wrestler.
"A story published by a London tabloid, The Sun, concerning George Clooney and Stacy Keibler is not true. Total fabrication designed to sell newspapers," the actor's PR representative Stan Rosenfield told the Mail Online.
They alleged that Stacy, 32, had told friends that her relationship with the 51-year-old actor was over due to his unwillingness to commit. According to the publication, George had apparently told the stunning WWE wrestler that he wanted to be on his own again.
"She said George wants to be on his own again and has no intention of getting married," a source was alleged to have told The Sun.
George didn't dump Stacy, but he will. Look, I'm sure she's a great girl and, with that athletic body
, she must be one hell of a lay, but that's inconsequential to Old Man Clooney and his gay motorcycle. Stacy did her part, he did his. She gave George great cover against the media, performing her beardly duties perfectly. So George held up his end of the arrangement and her IMDB page got slightly busier. So what's next? Unless Stacy gets her vagina tattooed with a picture of Brad Pitt's face or asshole, I can assume that this team-up is over.*10 George Clooney pictures total in the gallery:
George Clooney and Stacy Keibler in Lake Como, Italy
No way in hell this is true, but George Clooney -- who keeps coat hangers and bottles of RU486 in his nightstand, probably -- might have knocked up Stacy Keibler. From Star
Forget the ring! George Clooney is making an even bigger commitment to Stacy Kiebler - she's having his baby! Stacy, who usually flaunts a fat-free frame, debuted a suspicious-looking bump on June 16 while on vacation with George at Lake Como in Italy, where he has a palatial waterfront mansion. "People were buzzing that she was pregnant," the source exclaimed. "There was definitely a bump, and she just seemed so peaceful and calm. All her friends are really excited for her!"
With a green light from her 51-year-old beau, the former pro wrestler has wasted no time in turning their twosome into a family. "Stacy told her friends she and George might be getting pregnant. Some of them are even saying that she is already knocked up but it's too soon to tell everyone yet. She's absolutely thrilled!"
Well, look at that. All this time I thought Stacy was George's beard. I never even considered that he'd be able to appreciate Stacy's smoking hot body
enough to infect her with children, and I'm pretty sure that science still isn't allowing live births through the turd cutter. Oh well, I guess I should congratulate the happy couple (assuming that this is true or if science really is black magic). Damn it, first Lindsay Lohan keeps beating the odds in the Celebrity Death Pool at work, and now I lost another entry in my Guess the Queer raffle. I'm putting all of my money on you, Pitt. don't let me down!*18 Stacy Keibler pictures total in the gallery:
George Clooney in front of the Sudanese Embassy last Friday
After spending three or so hours in jail last Friday following his arrest
during a protest in front of the Sudanese embassy, George Clooney paid the $100 bail and was released, unraped (he didn't have time to take a shower thank god). Asked about his short stay, Clooney joked with reporters:
"[The stay was] really rough you can imagine ... Have you ever been in a cell with these guys?"
He added to TMZ
"My one phone call? My mom. One thing never changes."
Wow, that's kind of fucked up that he didn't call Stacy Keibler. They've been dating
for seven months. When I was arrested last year for soliciting an undercover cop for a blowjob "that I could pay for in meth," my one call was to my girlfriend. I guess I just care about her more than George cares about Stacy. What a dick.*15 George Clooney pictures total in the gallery:
The 2012 Academy Awards
By all measurables, my grandparents really loved the Oscars last night. From Billy Crystal's joke about the Kodak Theatre name change to Billy Crystal's joke about the Kodak Theatre name change. Seriously, was that the only fucking joke he made? Mix in a little rape humor just to keep everyone off balance. Maybe some jokes about gas prices. Because they are so high, you see. Anyways, thank God there were some fairly attractive women there:
Penelope Cruz (10 pics here
Natalie Portman (11 pics here
Maria Menounos (9 pics here
Olivia Wilde (14 pics here
Penelope Ann Miller (3 pics here
Claire Danes (7 pics here
Amy Adams (7 pics here
Emma Stone (3 pics here
Angelina Jolie (17 pics here
Li Bingbing (4 pics here
Busy Philipps (4 pics here
Stacy Keibler (7 pics here
Rose Byrne (12 pics here
Anna Faris (12 pics here
Ellie Kemper (10 pics here
Sofia Vergara (10 pics here
Kate Mara (12 pics here
Nancy O'Dell (7 pics here
Shailene Woodley (11 pics here
Kelly Ripa (4 pics here
Sandra Bullock (6 pics here
Milla Jovovich (8 pics here
)*188 pictures total in the gallery:
Stacy Keibler and George Clooney at the 2012 Critics' Choice Awards in Hollywood
Is George Clooney close to dumping Stacy Keibler? If idle, baseless conjecture is to be believed, sure, why not? From the National Enquirer
Urgent memo to Stacy Kiebler: George Clooney's slicker than Houdini when it come to slipping the chains of love, and now your paramour/ perennial bachelor’s suddenly confiding to pals that he's ready to pull a George Clooney on you- but admits he's having a hard time breaking the news to your face, you gorgeous creature! "She's everything that every man would want, but I'm ready to move on," sighed George to a close friend. BTW, Stacy, it isn't any specific thing—he's saying your relationship's simply run its course. Sorry, girl! (Print Edition - 2/20)
I sure hope Stacy kept her wrestling gear, because ol' man Clooney is all finished with her. Trust me, returning to the WWE isn't off the table since she was on vacation instead of demanding to be put in Ocean's 43
the entire time Pops was riding her. I could be wrong and maybe Stacy did gleam some Hollywood DNA from the tip of Clooney's custard gun, but it's more likely that she'll be a member of the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club before Wrestlemania.*10 Stacy Keibler and George Clooney pictures total in the gallery:
Stacy Keibler hosting a Super Bowl pre-party at the Bank Nightclub at the Bellagio in Las Vegas (2/4)*31 Stacy Keibler pictures total in the gallery:
George Clooney and Stacy Keibler in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico in December
I'm praying that this somehow leads to a fight between Stacy Keibler and Elisabeta Canalis. I'll even bring the Jell-O. From the Chicago Sun Times
George Clooney’s current squeeze Stacy Keibler — no great fan of the Oscar winner’s Italian villa, decorated by his ex-girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis — supposedly was influential in getting Clooney to buy a new hacienda down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
So what? Stacy Keibler is no different than any woman, it's just that her sugar daddy happens to be old man Clooney. I believe the bigger story is that Daddy Warbucks has that much money to burn. He's made dozens of shit movies, but he does have a few monster hits in his credit roll: ER
, the Oceans
franchise, The Facts of Life
, and the shittiest of the Batman
movies. God bless you, George. You still have Hollywood completely suckered.*10 George Clooney and Stacy Keibler pictures total in the gallery:
George Clooney and Stacy Keibler at the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills
I know this may seem shocking to you, but it seems as if Stacy Keibler is leveraging her relationship with George Clooney into procuring some higher profile acting roles. I know, right? I did not see that one coming. From the New York Post
Dating George Clooney does have its perks. Clooney's girlfriend, former professional wrestler Stacy Keibler, has signed on with high-powered agency William Morris Endeavor.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, as her boyfriend won the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama, Keibler appears to be pursuing more acting roles in the future. Keibler has had a recurring part on the show "Chuck," and also guest-starred as the "hot bartender" on the popular sitcom "How I Met Your Mother." Keibler has also had a role on USA Network's "Psych," and in the movie "The Comebacks."
Let this be a lesson for all of you gals in film school, taking acting classes, and waiting tables at Pizza Hut: if you really want to get ahead in Hollywood, just let a famous fossil hump on you. It's the return of the casting couch, except that now the broads are all in. What? You really didn't think that Keibler is into grandpa, did you? Come on, vaginas are tools, just like your hands and mouth. When you're taking your shame shower, just repeat this to yourself over and over: "use your tools to ply your craft." That phrase -- and a fifth of Jack -- won't wash away your pain, but it will let you get some sleep.*31 Stacy Keibler and George Clooney pictures total in the gallery: