Spencer Pratt


Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in Mexico in 2008

Remember all those cheesy staged photoshoots Heidi and Spencer from The Hills used to do? Turns out they made half a fucking million on them. A year. Of course they blew all the money (in Heidi's case, literally), but still, the two were god damn evil geniuses. From their appearance on Bethenny earlier this week:
Bethenny: First of all you were on every magazine. You must have been stalked by paparazzi. What's that like now? Are they still following you? Do they still take pictures?
Spencer: They were never following us. I was calling them.
Bethenny: You are so honest. I really like that. You were calling them.
Spencer: We were in a partnership with them. There's big money in there. Was. Every photo you take they are selling them to the tabloids so if you partner up with them you get a cut.
Bethenny: Wow you got a deal with them not for holding a product but just for sitting by a pool.
Spencer: Any photo you see. We were making like half a million dollars in photos a year.
Heidi: It's a different economy now, a different market. There's not really that market now. We kind of were at the peak at that time.
Just so we're clear, Heidi and Spencer think the reason why they've been reduced to appearing on The Praying Mantis Show is because the economy stinks? Sure, things were better back when MTV created scripted "reality" TV shows like The Hills, but it's not as if Heidi or that albino dick hole of a husband bothered to keep up with what the masses wanted to watch. Anyone from porn actresses, to tire jockeys, to racist pastry chefs can be celebrities -- it just takes a little work (well, I guess selling one's soul probably isn't considered work these days). Do Heidi and Spencer want to get back in the mix of things? Well, whip out the GoPro and film Heidi getting DP'ed by fellow has-beens the Jonas brothers and whoever's left alive from the original cast of the Real World.

*30 Heidi and Spencer pictures total in the gallery:

  • Heidi Spencer Picture Payday 1
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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in Malibu (9/20)

+ Shania Twain is still hot [PopEater]

+ The chubby one has a huge wang [The Superficial]
+ Does Vanessa mean Zac's beard or his "beard" [Celebuzz]
+ If Lindsay wants to earn a quick $50k . . . [IDLYITW]
+ Puffy's baby momma in a bikini [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Hilary Duff rocking the f*ck-me boots [Popoholic]
+ Boobies! (NSFW) [College Humor]
+ Sofia Vergara is some quality Colombian ass [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Doutzen Kroes is rather beautiful [moejackson]

+ Model FAIL [Dlisted]
+ Ashton Kutcher is in deep shit [The Blemish]
+ Nicole Richie has breasts (NSFW) [CityRag]
+ Like a skinnier JWoww [Double Viking]

*11 Heidi Montag upskirt pictures total in the gallery:

  • Heidi Montag Upskirt Ocean 1
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Karissa Shannon's sex tape stolen

Now that Heidi Montag is refusing to release her sex tape (she has to sign off on it, per California law), her ex-husband Spencer Pratt is moving on . . . to another sex tape. He allegedly stole a tape of Playmate Karissa Shannon and her boyfriend Sam Jones getting it on. Her lawyer already sent a letter to Spencer threatening to sue if he doesn't return it, and now TMZ says:
Playmate Karissa Shannon is about to be semi-celebdom's next sex tape debutante -- that is if Vivid Entertainment honcho Steve Hirsch gets to release the homemade XXX flick he calls "extremely erotic."

Hirsch tells TMZ he actually laid eyes on the tape which co-stars Karissa's boyfriend, "Smallville" actor Sam Jones III. Hirsch says it was sent to him from "a reputable third party" and that he'd "love to be able to release it."

Vivid's chief isn't divulging who dropped the tape in his lap, but does say he's "very impressed with the quality and content" -- which sounds like executive speak for ... it's smoking hot!

But before you scour the Internet for clips -- we spoke to Jones who said, "I understand that the guy from Vivid saw footage with Karissa and I in it. We have spoken to our legal team and they will be dealing with this ASAP."
Aw man, this Sam guy must be so embarrassed. If this tape is released, everyone's going to know that he had sex with a woman who had sex with Hugh Hefner. So basically, he boned Hugh Hefner. Look, I've made some bad decisions in my day, but even I've never fucked an 84-year-old man. This dude needs to take a good long look in the mirror and reevaluate his whole relationship with Karissa -- hell, his whole life. Also: scrub his penis with steel wool. Also: tear off Spencer's arm and beat him to death with it.

*9 Karissa Shannon pictures total in the gallery:

  • Karissa Shannon Sex Tape 1
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Karissa Shannon in Las Vegas (8/21)

Late last Friday, it was learned that Spencer Pratt was threatening to release a sex tape featuring himself and his "estranged" wife, Heidi Montag 2.0. Since I hate Heidi and Spencer almost as much as lima beans, I really tried to stay away from the story as long as possible -- and I did, for a whole 3 days. But then Heidi had to go and force my hand by getting it on with another chick (the chick in question being Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriend, Karissa Shannon, pictured above). You scheming son-of-a-bitch! From TMZ:
Spencer Pratt has unearthed a girl-on-girl tape featuring Heidi Montag and Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon .... sources tell TMZ. We're told not too long ago Spencer was at the Malibu house he once shared with Heidi ... moving out some of his stuff.  Sources tell us Spencer came upon a camera with XXX video of Heidi and Karissa -- and the light bulb went off.

Sources say it was then that Spencer decided he could make a fortune selling his "library" to Vivid Entertainment -- much of it featuring naked, fornicating Speidi. We could not reach Heidi and her reps were mum.

As for Karissa Shannon -- she tells us such a tape does indeed exist, but she's not convinced Spencer really has it. Karissa says if the tape ever sees the light of day, she'll sue the pants off him.
Wow, a lesbian sex tape featuring an ex Playboy Playmate and Heidi Montag's EEE tits? Heidi and Spencer are going to be rich! Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they made $8.1 million on this tape -- or roughly the same amount of money Jennifer Aniston's new movie The Switch debuted at this weekend. Ha Ha Ha, you suck Aniston! Just quit already.

*15 Karissa Shannon pictures total in the gallery:

  • Heidi Montag Lesbian Sex Tape 1
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Sophie Turner in all her silicone glory

What a shock, but it turns out that Spencer Pratt is a lying douche bag. Remember Spencer? The paparazzi used to take pictures of him last year until they realized he wasn't famous at all even a little bit. From Radar:
Australian actress/model Sophie Turner wants to set the record straight: Not only is she NOT appearing in Spencer Pratt's new raunchy beach comedy, Tower 69: Beach Patrol Featuring 3D Boobs, she's NEVER even met the former reality TV star turned aspiring film producer.

A clearly upset Turner released a statement to RadarOnline.com on Tuesday saying,  "I have never met or spoken to Spencer Pratt; I have no involvement in his tactless project, nor do I have any interest in being involved."

She then went on to Tweet, "For the record, I would never work on such a distasteful and degrading to women project that Spencer Pratt has tried to link me to. I'm in no shape or form involved in this project or even appear in this tactless, un-artistic garbage", "I have a full schedule with artistic Indy films where I play intellectual and complex characters. I would never objectify women by playing the sort of character he would want me to play. I have not met or spoken to Pratt and I have no clue why I am being linked to this project."

Cameras caught up with Pratt outside a strip club on Wednesday, August 6, where he said he was looking for 'talent', and at that time, he indicated he was talking to several supermodels including Sophie Turner.
Sophie doesn't want to appear in a film that "objectifies women," yet she's built her entire career based on her sexually-provocative appearance. Something just doesn't quite add up here. If Sophie really wanted people to judge her on something other than her looks, she would have followed a career path where beauty is definitely not the primary qualification -- as one of the cast members of Sex and the City.

*10 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Sophie Turner Nude Movie 1
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God she's a monster

TMZ broke the news last Friday that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt split up and now Heidi's rep is confirming the news to Us Weekly:
Is Heidi and Spencer Pratt's split for real? Affirmative, says Heidi's rep, who confirms the separation to UsMagazine.com, explaining that nothing legal has been filed.

"Heidi is going through a difficult time and hopes people respect her privacy," the rep tells Us.

An insider insists that the couple, who wed in April of last year, parted ways early last week, with Heidi initiating the break.

Adds the pal: "there are no plans for divorce...they are going through some issues. It's a hiccup."
This is clearly a publicity stunt from these two fame sluts. Actually, I'm a little surprised they went down this route. You know what would generate even more publicity than a fake break-up? Setting yourself on fire. Seriously, how awesome would that be? With all the chemicals in her body, Heidi would light up like a roman candle. It'd be just like a fireworks show on the 4th of July, but with more people smiling and cheering.

*5 pics total in the gallery:

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Spencer Pratt is a douche

A guido-inspired energy drink? Why didn't I think of that! Oh yeah, because I'm not a fucking idiot. From TMZ:
Spencer Pratt is dead set on capitalizing on the "Jersey Shore" craze -- TMZ has learned he's teamed up with Snooki's ex-boyfriend to lockdown a trademark on a Guido-themed energy drink ... seriously.

Pratt and Emilio Masella just acquired trademark rights on the name "Guid-o-Juice" --  for drink products ranging from energy-fueled concoctions to herbal remedies. We're told Spencilio's first venture is "what's soon to be the most popular Guido energy drink in the world."

Spencer and Masellout already have a reality show in the works -- called "Fist Pumping for Love."
Spencer's idea of creating "the most popular Guido energy drink" in the world will never happen -- that title already belongs to the popular "Red Bull, Vodka, and Roofie" drink. Besides, Jersey Shore Guidos don't need an energy drink to get them excited when they go out -- they just need loud music, hair gel, and girls drunk enough to wake up the next morning with no recollection of the night before. For all of our sakes, let's hope this drink contains the one ingredient any good Guido energy drink should have: Sugar Caffeine Rat Poison.

*27 pics total in the gallery:

  • Thumbnail: Spencer Pratt Energy Drink 1
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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt split up

Though she's denying the rumors, OK! magazine's reporting that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have split up. From their website:
It seems that there’s trouble in the fairytale romance of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt: OK! has learned that the reality starlet has walked out on her husband after fewer than 18 months of marriage.

Things have been rocky between the pair recently, and Heidi even fired Spencer briefly as her manager two weeks ago.

Another source close to the couple confirmed: “She’s moving out of her house and away from Spencer.”
I don't think it's a coincidence that this news came out just a week after The Hills was canceled. Obviously these two are drumming up some fake publicity in the hopes of getting their own reality shows -- Heidi a dating show: "Date my Double-Ds"; and Spencer a show where he tests the effects of explosives on his defenseless body: "The Most Awesome Show Ever."

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Spencer's tongue, post surgery

According to reports, Spencer Pratt was "playing a game of tug-of-war with his little dog" when Spencer bit his own tongue. Something which seemed impossible for him to do the past two years. Zing?

Sources say Spencer put the toy rope in his mouth when suddenly the rope slipped at the same time he bit down causing him to pierce a hole through his tongue. Pratt says it is "a sign from God that he needs to continue to keep his mouth shut in 2010."

Someone should tell Spencer there are easier ways to get a dog to make out with you. No, but really. It's good to know Spencer is a victim of his own stupidity and lack of hand-eye coordination. This makes my plan of giving him a razorblade and telling him chicks think shaved balls are sexy much less gay and way more ingenious.

NOTE: This guest post was written by Victor from The Blemish. He's watched an episode of Access Hollywood so he's pretty much a guru on celebrity gossip.

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Spencer Pratt at a car wash on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. (11/7)

Just for the record, I'm not OK with Spencer Pratt driving around a kick-ass 1968 Camaro SS. Why can't he stick to the script and drive a Mercedes or Porsche like all the other douchebags in L.A.? . . . wait a minute, cars built in 1968 don't have airbags! Yes!

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Would You Rather?

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