Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt at Gelson’s Market in Pacific Palisades (8/27)
Great news everybody. After seeing these ridiculous pics of Heidi and Spencer shopping yesterday, my hatred level for the couple has broken through the previous resistance level of 10 and is now at a 12. Top Wall Street analysts believe hatred levels could “easily” reach 20 by year’s end.
Heidi and Spencer are going to Iraq
Heidi and Spencer are planning a trip to Iraq to perform for U.S. troops. Heidi says she’s inspired by her late stepbrother Eric, a veteran of combat mission in Iraq and Afghanistan (Eric died earlier this year in an accident at the hotel he worked at in Steamboat Springs, Colorado). She told Extra:
“My brother was an airborne ranger in Afghanistan and Iraq. It’s very important to me and important to Spencer to support the troops and go over there.”
While Montag and Pratt are eagerly planning their trip — they may be getting a little help with travel arrangements from friend Meghan McCain (Ed. Note: pics of Meghan and Heidi below), the daughter of presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain.
“She’s very sweet,” Pratt told Extra. “I think Meghan McCain is helping organize Heidi and our Iraq trip. Her dad definitely has some pull with the military. I think she’s going to put that together for us.” (Source)
I wonder if Heidi and Spencer are gonna do one of their patented posed photo shoots — Iraq style! There’s the two of them, surrounded by Iraqi schoolchildren, making out. There’s Spencer holding an M16! There’s Heidi posing next to a roadside bo…
Heidi and Spencer at a firing range in L.A. (7/9)
And if we’re lucky, Heidi and Spencer will also die in a roadside ambush.
NOTE: For fifty more shots of Heidi and Spencer packin’ heat, check out Pacific Coast News Online.
Don’t let the Jesus shirt fool you
I think we finally have proof that Heidi and Spencer are the spawn of Satan. They actually enjoy the DMV. From Fox News:
Speaking of romances, “The Hills” couple Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt visited the Santa Monica DMV on Tuesday afternoon and made the most of their waiting time by making out. Classy. (Source)
Good God, as if going to the DMV wasn’t nauseating enough. It wouldn’t be surprising if watching these two make out was one of the new tests California drivers are required to take before they’re issued their licenses. There’s the standard eye exam, written exam, and now the new stomach strength exam. If you can watch these two suck face without puking, you’re deemed fit enough to operate heavy machinery. Of course, you’ll also be deemed fit for eye bleach.
[Pacific Coast News]
Juuuuuuuuuust a bit creepy
I didn’t want to mention this because it’s just so damn retarded but Spencer Pratt and Mary-Kate Olsen have been fighting for the past week. It started on the David Letterman Show when Olsen — who went to high school with Pratt — revealed that he had a bad temper (Dave also called him a little “wormy”). In an interview with Us Weekly, Pratt fired back at Olsen calling her a “famous troll” (he’s not lying — the resemblance is uncanny) and the “less cute twin.” Rather than being a recent thing, it looks like the feud between the two stretches all the way back to high school. From a Details magazine article published in March of last year:
“Basically, I made it, like, my mission to try to go on a date with every girl on The Hills,” says [Spencer Pratt] who will proudly tell you he made $50,000 in high school by selling a photo he took of Mary-Kate Olsen drinking at a party. Pratt ended up “falling in love” with one of the Hills girls, Heidi Montag. Their drama dominates the current season. (Source)
$50,000? Wha . . . how . . . oh, that’s right, people used to care about the Olsen twins. Nowadays you couldn’t get $50k for a picture of Mary-Kate on the grassy knoll firing a shot at President Kennedy. Impossible you say because she wasn’t alive in 1963? Dude, did you not read the last post about Angelina Jolie? The French have a pretty kick-ass time machine now.
Mary-Kate Olsen is drunk
I go to Sears for all my portraits, too
Earlier this month, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt dropped $10,000 on guns at the Martin B. Retting store in Culver City. The couple picked up two Benelli semiautomatic M4 tactical shotguns, two Wilson close quarter combat .45-caliber pistols, one Scout semiautomatic rifle, and a partridge in a pear tree . . . for target practice. A friend told In Touch:
“They wanted the exact guns that the U.S. Delta Force uses. Spencer wants to be prepared for anything.”
Prepared for anything? You mean like a war? Because he’s prepared for a fucking war. Let that be a warning to the cast of Real World: Hollywood. Les Deux and Katsuya is Hills territory. If you’re seen in those places wearing Real World colors, you will be shot.
[WENN]
We’re too late, the children must be burned
According to In Touch Weekly, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have made $3 million+ in the past two years. *scratches head* . . . wait, what?:
Since coupling up on The Hills two years ago, the pair have raked in about $3 million from their TV salaries, club appearances, photo shoots and business deals. “We are trying to entertain in every aspect of our lives,” Heidi says. For Heidi, 21, that means also pursuing a music and acting career. “I plan to win an Oscar,” she says. “I’m very ambitious.” Although the couple haven’t made any money off her singing yet, Spencer, 24, who is also Heidi’s manager, is very optimistic about their financial future. “My hustle is just too crazy,” he says. “I’m trying to take over the world!”
$3 million dollars?! Oscar?! 894237p[qh89[q-0erg89 MUST p[924tgg[0b STOP 23th2t8089-24890 BANGING 0[24hn0tgb–0pb=8 HEAD nu0p[890[tg8 INTO 2490q2e-\2349 KEYBOARD. No, but seriously, I wish the best for these two.*
*best = euphemism for fiery death
Heidi Montag bikini pics! (Mexico - 5/24)
Ah crap, Heidi Montag can see her implants’ shadow. Looks like we’re in for six more weeks of spring.
UPDATE: Found a bunch more pics (12 more pics on PAGE 2 — CLICK HERE)
CLICK HERE to jump to 12 more Heidi Montag bikini pics on PAGE 2
Where’s an errant foul ball when you need one?
Douchy star of the The Hills, Spencer Pratt, ran up a $783 bill at an L.A. restaurant on Saturday night and left a measly $16 tip. For those of you without a calculator, that’s 2%. TMZ says:
A camera crew was with the vomit-inducing twosome at the time — no surprise there — and our source says that when they stopped filming, the server approached a producer from the show about the measly tip. The producer forked over $60 from his own pocket to cover Spencer’s shortcomings. Included on the bill were 12 shots of platinum Patron at $60 a pop. (Source)
Can you blame Spencer for being a lousy tipper? If he’s going to become a trillionaire in the next couple of years he can’t be giving away all of his money to the “help.” He’s going to have to invest his money in things that will eventually pay monetary dividends . . . like stocks, bonds, and bigger implants for Heidi.*
*She’ll be able to charge more for a lap dance in 10 years with bigger tits
Actually, no, I don’t want to check out Heidi’s ass
Star magazine claims that Heidi Montag is planning on faking a pregnancy this summer to keep her name in the news. A source told the mag:
“This summer, Heidi plans to wear loose clothes and even strap on some padding around her waist to make it appear as if she’s about three months along. The plan is to get the baby rumor mill going so she can get photographed more. She and Spencer won’t confirm or deny the pregnancy so they can keep everyone guessing.” (Source)
Apparently someone didn’t get enough attention as a child. I mean, really, is there anything this bitch won’t fake for attention? Reality show: fake. Boobs: fake. Orgasms with Spencer: fake. If Heidi really wants to fake something, she start with her own death . . . minus the fake part. Besides, everyone knows Heidi could never get pregnant from Spencer — anal doesn’t work that way.
