Sophie Monk

Sophie Monk and Jimmy Esebag arriving at LAX airport (2/8)

I know this may sadden a lot of you but Sophie Monk and her fiance Jimmy Esebag broke up. That's Sophie and her grandpa Frank in the picture above (I wasn't able to find a picture of Jimmy) . . . wait, what? That's actually Jimmy? Um . . . oh. From the Daily Mail:

Australian model/actress Monk shocked many when she told U.S. talk show host Chelsea Handler that she was 'newly single' during a taping of her show yesterday. The 31-year-old's surprise revelation came after days of speculation that Jimmy Esebag would be introduced to Monk's family during her trip home to Australia.

The couple announced their engagement in January after just a few months of dating.

When Handler asked if she was engaged right now, Monk replied: "No, I'm - I'm just nothing.... I've just been through a lot."

If you're wondering why Sophie broke off her engagement to a guy more than 20 years her senior, the answer is pretty simple: his doctor gave him a clean bill of health. As any gold digger worth her salt will tell you, there's one simple key to finding a man to bilk out of his money: poor health. Otherwise, you might end up having to wait decades to inherit his money.*

*see: Hefner, Hugh. Dude's like the fucking Terminator. He refuses to die.

*15 Sophie Monk and Jimmy Esebag pictures total in the gallery:

Sophie Monk and Jimmy Esebag 

Benji Madden's ex-girlfriend Sophie Monk is getting married. She dropped the news yesterday on Australian radio station 2Day FM that she's engaged to businessman Jimmy "The Hatchet" Esebag (above). OK, I might have made up that nickname. But c'mon, if that dude's not in the Mafia then I'm Abraham fucking Lincoln.

"I got engaged! He's a keeper. It feels right. I think you know when you know."

In Sophie's case, she knew it was right when Jimmy accidentally dropped his ATM receipt on the floor and she picked it up. True love!

*10 Sophie Monk pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Thursday, August 26

Sophie Monk in Maui (pics start here)

Actress Electra Avellan at the premiere of Machete at the Orpheum Theatre in downtown Los Angeles (pics start here)

Jessica Biel leaving Fred Segal in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Kristin Cavallari leaving the Neil George Salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Mark McGrath outside Bristol Farms in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Milla Jovovich arriving at LAX airport in L.A. (pics start here)

Alanis Morissette leaving Real Food Daily in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Jessica Alba at the premiere of Machete at the Orpheum Theatre in downtown Los Angeles (pics start here)

Jodi Lyn O'Keefe at the Gifting Services Showroom in L.A. (pics start here)

Emma Watson leaving Cafe Pacifico restaurant in London (pics start here)

Jennifer Love Hewitt at Armani Exchange in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Sharon Stone out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

*131 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Kevin Connolly and Sophie Monk leaving SUR restaurant after a date (7/17)

If you're a regular follower of Celebslam, you know I'm fascinated with chronicling all the ass that nerd Kevin Connolly pulls (see here, here, here, and here). I don't know what it is with him, if women are fascinated by his miniature stature or if he's hung like a great dane, but he consistently nails some of the hottest ass around -- or at least hotter than he should be nailing. And he did it again on Saturday, going on what WENN called a "romantic dinner date" with model/actress Sophie Monk. In related news, I'm now a 15th level Elf with Wizard powers on World of Warcraft. Loss of virginity, here I come!

*19 photos total in the gallery:

Sophie Monk is good at bike riding

First of all, I don't even know who the hell Sophie Monk is, but I've written about her before, so she must be famous. And second of all, shut the hell up. From Australia's news.com.au:

"I have big boobs which I hate. They are so annoying. I wish they were smaller," the ex-Goldy girl tells Grazia magazine.

Monk tells the mag about her body image woes, saying she doesn't like looking too skinny either.

"It's not an attractive look, clothes hang off you. I prefer to have a little bit of curve; that definitely looks better. My legs are long but my body is too short. Then you know what? I look at myself and think, 'Well it's got me this far. I can't look too bad'!"

It's pretty clear what Sophie's doing here. She doesn't hate her tits -- she just likes bringing them up in conversation to highlight the fact that they're pretty nice to look at. It'd be like if I started a sentence with: "You know, having a 10" penis isn't all it's cracked up to be" -- and I was talking to my accountant.

Sophie Monk outside her home in L.A. (2/21)

+ Bar Refaeli in a bikini in Mexico. Damn. [The Superficial]

+ Olivia Wilde doing her best doggy style interpretation [Huffington Post]
+ Rhian Sugden has boobs, not afraid to show them (NSFW) [IDLYITW]
+ Cheryl Cole has some sweet prison tats [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Rihanna got a lap dance from a midget porn star [PopEater]

+ Glee cast to perform for Obamas [Just Jared]
+ Padma Lakshmi is officially a MILF [Wonderwall]
+ Diora Baird's and huge boobs do Twitter [Popoholic]
+ Holly Madison's tits looking faker than ever [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Kate Beckinsale is perfection [moejackson]

+ Self-shot boobies! (NSFW) [College Humor]
+ Jessica Simpson looks like Hannibal Lecter [The Blemish]
+ Lorenzo Lamas is robbing the cradle [Dlisted]
+ Jane Fond can't quit plastic surgery [Cele|bitchy]

Sophie Monk at Coffee Bean in L.A. (2/15)

+ Does Shauna Sand ever cover her tits? [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Is Gerard Butler banging Nicole Scherzinger? [Just Jared]
+ Holly Madison upskirt pic [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Blake Lively won't do Playboy. Sad :( [The Blemish]
+ Kelly Osbourne is hot now or something [Amy Grindhouse]

+ Justin Timberlake is making money off of everything [A Socialite's Life]
+ A little something for the ladies [Yeeeah!]
+ Beyonce's dad ordered to pay $8,200/mo for his love baby [Cele|bitchy]
+ Reese Witherspoon is banging her agent [I'm Not Obsessed]

LIST OF THE DAY: 25 Hot Bartenders

Sophie Monk leaving Coffee Bean in L.A. (1/25)

+ Milla Jovovich is not wearing pants [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Angelina Jolie did what with Lady Gaga? [Cele|bitchy]
+ Suri Cruise is not happy [Just Jared]
+ Paris is such a classy girl (semi-NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Once again: Jimmy Kimmel > Jay Leno [The Blemish]

+ Britain's finest export, Layla Kayleigh [Holy Taco]
+ Neil Patrick Harris the new Simon Cowell? [A Socialite's Life]
+ More Tiger gay rumors [Yeeeah!]
+ Then maybe she shouldn't have dropped to 79 pounds [I'm Not Obsessed] 

LIST OF THE DAY: Top 5 Kick-Ass Concert Intros from Top Bands

Sophie Monk leaving Coffee Bean in L.A. (10/27)

The L.A. County Sheriff's Department totally wants to fuck you. Feel free to speed, drive recklessly, or run over children in crosswalks Rebecca Gayheart-style, because I really don't think you're gonna get a ticket.

Sophie Monk bikini pics!

Sophie Monk at Manhattan Beach in Southern California (9/10)