Hey guys, something unexpected came up today (hint: it involves a toilet, me on my knees, and a lot of cursing) and I'm not gonna be able to post anything. It's nothing serious so keep the candlelight vigils to a minimum. I'll be back tomorrow.
Stay sexy everyone, your hungsome* editor,
Nick
*It's a word I just made up that combines "handsome" and "hung"
Apologies for the downtime Wednesday/Thursday/Friday. My thingy where my website's stored was being moved or something. It took WAY longer than expected and I'm obviously pissed. You may have noticed some of the other gossip sites down as well. That's because we all use the same server company and all of us got fucked. Since none of use could write anything, we all met at my house and told ghost stories and braided each other's hair. It was so fun! I had some stuff written before the site went down so I'll be posting that throughout the weekend. If they seem like they're a old, that's because they are.
Yours Truly,
Nick
P.S. Love your body
Just wanted to let everyone know that I'll be in Mexico from January 8th-15th, Monday to Monday. There's this big trade summit the President begged me to attend...I'm just kidding, I'll be nailing hookers all week long. And possibly getting thrown in a Mexican jail for the second time in as many years (absolutely true BTW).
Anyways, I got a few of my buddies to take over and write for the next week. Their English is barely passable and I'm not even sure they know what the Internet is, but they're hung like horses so that's a bonus.
I'm bringing my laptop so hopefully I'll be able to check in. I also have some stuff prepared that I set to post next week.
My page was down for the past day or so because I'm on the first page of Google if you search Britney Spears Vagina. Traffic was getting so heavy that my other host shut down my site, using terms like "crashing hundreds of other sites" and "making orphans cry." Anyways, to make a long story short, I moved hosts and I'm now on a server that's dedicated...dedicated to you that is, *playfully paws at screen* I had a bunch of posts prepared before my site crashed that I'll be running over the next few days. Throw me a bone and act like they're new.
Yes I know my site was down for a little while yesterday and has been a little sluggish the past few days. I think someone accidentally tripped over the plug that controls the Internet or something--an upgrade is in the works. For those of you who know about these things (aka the guys that I used to beat up in high school that laugh at me now), I'll be making the leap from shared hosting to a dedicated server. The process will probably take a few weeks (most of the time will be spent wondering how the hell I'm gonna pay for this thing each month).
Come Monday, the site will no longer look like it was designed by that dude on the infomercial that wears the suit with all the question marks on it. I fucking hate that guy, but he had me convinced he knew web design by casually dropping computer terms like 'bits' and 'internets' when we were talking over the phone. I don't know, I got pretty confused.
Changes:
I've added the ability to digg each post, add to your del.icio.us bookmarks, and email the post to a friend (all these links will be at the bottom of each post). Every time you don't digg a post, I kill a kitten or puppy, depending on my mood.
Your computer will no longer get that funny metallic smell if you hit reload 4 times.
In the coming months, I will also be adding forums.
Feel free to give me some suggestions on anything you'd like to see in the future. I just ask that all written communications strictly adhere to 14th century Elizabethan English, thou ruttish folly-fallen horn-beast! Also, try to keep all your words under four syllables because I've been getting these headaches lately.
Nick
Update (9/23 @ 8:20pm): I decided to roll out the new layout early. EVERYBODY PANIC!
