Simon Monjack

Simon Monjack and Sharon Murphy

No, really. When Brittany Murphy's husband Simon Monjack wasn't busy trying to fleece the public for "donations" [so he could buy a Ferrari] after her death, he was sharing the couple's bed with her mom Sharon. And not sharing in the philosophical "let's leave the bed undisturbed so we both can have it as a lasting memory of Brittany" sense. I mean sharing in the literal "hey jackass, quit snoring" sense. From TMZ:

The L.A. Coroner's Office just released their report on Simon Monjack's death. In the report, the investigator documents an exchange with a person whose name has been withheld -- but whom law enforcement sources have identified as Brittany's mother, Sharon Murphy.

According to the report, the investigator and the unnamed person (Sharon) were going through the master bedroom in the Hollywood Hills home that Simon shared with Brittany ... when (Sharon) pointed to one side of Simon's bed and identified it as "her side of the bed."

The report doesn't suggest sexual contact between the two. 

I don't see what all the hubbub is about. It just seems like Simon and Sharon had a very very close relationship . . . so close that Simon would occasionally ejaculate onto her lower back. What's the big deal?

*5 photos total in the gallery:

Simon Monjack dead at 39

Brittany Murphy's widower Simon Monjack was found dead last night at the couple's home in the Hollywood Hills. Initial reports say he finally succumbed to his broken heart. I'm totally kidding. It was drugs. From TMZ:

One well-placed source says, "There were a number of pill bottles on the nightstand in the bedroom, and some were empty."

There is, obviously, an eerie similarity to the death of Monjack's wife, Brittany Murphy, just five months ago.  In her case an array of prescription drugs were found on the nightstand of the same bedroom where Monjack died.  Many of the drugs on Simon's nightstand were the same as the ones found after Brittany died.

One law enforcement source says the two causes of death that seem most plausible at the moment are "natural" and "accidental drug overdose."

Monjack told TMZ recently he had suffered a heart attack during the incident last November when he had a medical emergency aboard an airplane.

Brittany's mother, Sharon Murphy, discovered Monjack's body last night.  She is also the one who found her daughter, Brittany, unconscious and on the floor of the bathroom five months earlier.

Accidental overdose my ass. This sounds like another scheme by Simon to get at Brittany and her money. This guy is one evil calculating motherfucker.

*5 pics total in the gallery:

Simon Monjack is one shady dude

Brittany Murphy's widow Simon Monjack gave Radar an exclusive tour on Saturday of THE DEATH BATHROOM where, you know, his wife died. I guess he wanted to show off the kick-ass jets in the tub. Pulsating massage action!:

It is also the first time [Simon] has been in the bathroom since Brittany’s shocking death.

"You’re the first people to ever see the infamous bathroom,” Simon painfully told RadarOnline.com Saturday afternoon. “Today was the three month anniversary of her [Brittany’s] death and before I saw you I was actually with Sharon at the grave.

“This is the little doggy couch where she actually fell and she was put on her side right here,” Simon says pointing to a leopard print couch and a place on the floor next to it. “When the paramedics came in they pulled her through here, into one of the closets and into the main room.”

In a display of raw emotion and heart-breaking sadness, Simon takes a minute to absorb the images of the bathroom before telling RadarOnline.com, “This is the first time I’ve come in here actually. It’s shocking.”

Simon told RadarOnline.com that he turned down six-figure money offers from media outlets to show the bathroom and received no money for interview or video footage.

While it's true that Simon turned down all money to see the bathroom, he did tell Radar that he's glad that the new BMW 760Li that mysteriously showed up on his doorstep minutes after they left had the optional burled walnut trim, because the standard ash grain wood trim just doesn't go with his eyes.

Simon Monjack leaving the Chateau Marmont on West Hollywood (3/7)

Hey, remember when Brittany Murphy died only 3 months ago? Apparently her widow Simon Monjack doesn't. He took a date to an Oscar party on Sunday. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't date 3 months after your wife's death -- oh wait, that's exactly what I'm saying. You also shouldn't sell autographed photos of you at your wife's funeral. Signed by your wife. Um Simon, we need to have a serious talk.

Brittany always loved staring contests. That, and prescription drugs.

You know the charity set up in Brittany Murphy's name that had the dual purpose of honoring her memory and fleecing the general public of their hard-earned cash? I know this is going to come as a shock to those of you that consider yourself morons, but it was never a charity. The following was posted on the foundation's website earlier today:

We began the Brittany Murphy Foundation to honor Brittany's wishes and to give her family, friends, and fans a way of keeping her legacy alive. In an effort to get the foundation off the ground quickly, we established it as a private foundation with plans to apply for nonprofit status down the road. However, after some thought, we have decided instead to wait until we have our nonprofit status approved before proceeding to ensure that we can truly honor Brittany's charitable desires. Any donations made up until this point will be returned until we have all our paperwork solidified.

We would like to thank the thousands of people who have reached out with kind words of love and support; you have made the hardest journey a little bit easier.

With love and sincere gratitude,

Sharon Murphy and Simon Monjack

p.s. oh shit, does anyone know the return policy on jet skis? - Simon

OK fine, I might have added that last line

Simon Monjack is scum

A few weeks ago, when news came out that Simon Monjack's mysterious "benefit" for Brittany Murphy had been canceled, I joked about what Simon was supposed to do with all the autographed 8x10s he was planning on selling. Turns out I wasn't very far off. From Life & Style:

In the wake of actress Brittany Murphy’s tragic death on Dec. 20, 2009, it’s not surprising that the two people closest to the deceased star — her mother, Sharon, and her husband, Simon Monjack — turned to each other for support. It’s Simon’s apparent intent to cash in on their pain that’s shocking. Simon appears to be trying to sell photographs of Sharon and himself consoling each other over the loss of Brittany. Life & Style has learned that one set of photos, being sold on Simon’s behalf through a third party, had an asking price of more than $40,000. In addition to the pictures, the price would include a brief question-and-answer session with Simon.

I don't see what the big deal is. Jesus has been dead for years and we sell pictures and statues of him. And Simon isn't even selling statues yet (still looking for a manufacturer in Mexico). Clearly the liberal media is trying to make something out of nothing. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that if you disagree with what Simon is doing, you must also hate Jesus. Be gone blasphemers!

Brittany Murphy's cause of death revealed

In an interview with the Associated Press last month, Brittany Murphy's mom Sharon said this:

"She had a fear of dying. She would not take too much caffeine. She wouldn’t even have a glass of champagne on New Year’s. She was just high on life, and people see that as something else I guess."

Roughly a week later, in an interview with The Daily Beast, Brittany's widow Simon Monjack said this:

"In all the time I’ve known her, she has never, and I repeat NEVER, done drugs. Not a line of cocaine, not a hit from a joint, nothing. She was anti-drugs. There are no drugs involved. If any were, I would not be on the phone with you."

Today, in an interview with People magazine, Ed Winter of the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office said this:

"This death could've been preventable. Murphy was planning on seeing a doctor, but she unfortunately passed away before she did. This was a case of a person with pneumonia who was anemic (having a low blood count) who was taking medication when she should've been getting medical treatment."

Winter confirms that no illegal drugs were found in the actress's system: "It was only prescription and over-the-counter meds," he said.

Hah, I told you Simon was right! Besides the drugs she was taking when she died, Brittany wasn't taking any drugs when she died! It feels so good to be vindicated. Like a massage chair with five intensity levels and added heat.

Simon Monjack outside the Chateau Marmont Hotel in West Hollywood (1/27)

Bad news for those of you planning to shell out $1,000 to hang out with Brittany Murphy's handsome devil of a husband Simon Monjack this Thursday. The cash grab benefit he was planning in Brittany's honor has been canceled. From TMZ:

But just days before the big night, someone called the Beverly Hills Temple of the Arts -- where the event was supposed to go down -- and told the Rabbi to hold the Manischewitz... because the party was off.

We're told Monjack insists the party was simply postponed -- but so far, no new date has been set. We spoke with Rabbi David Baron, who was supposed to conduct the memorial, who told us when the call came in, the person who canceled never gave a reason.

This is horrible news for Simon. What's he supposed to do with all those autographed Brittany Murphy 8x10 photos he was going to sell? And what about that game-used Brittany Murphy nightgown (Certificate of Authenticity included) he was going to auction off? Simon may have to actually get a job now like the rest of us mouth-breathers. What a disaster!

Simon Monjack launched Brittany Murphy Foundation

Now we can all properly grieve Brittany Murphy . . . and it will only cost $1,000. That's how much her widow Simon Monjack is charging to attend the launch of the new "Brittany Murphy Foundation" this Thursday. No word yet if he's setting up a VIP section at the event with bottle service and strippers. From Us Weekly:

On Thursday, Murphy's husband Simon Monjack is hosting a launch party to celebrate the Brittany Murphy Foundation, which is dedicated to arts education for children. (Monjack claims he started the foundation with $1 million of his own money.)

A source tells UsMagazine.com he is suggesting dollar amounts of $1,000 per individual and $10,000 from corporations to attend the event, which takes place at the Saban Theatre in Beverly Hills.

Says a source, "Everyone thinks it's very tacky that he is making it so much about money."

I know it's easy to criticize Simon for charging so much, but honestly, who among us can say they wouldn't try to turn a profit on their significant other's death, just 44-days after it happened? Give the guy a break. It's not like the mortgage is just paying itself.

Brittany Murphy and Simon Monjack at a screening of Trembled Blossoms in Beverly Hills in 2008

I'm beginning to see why Brittany Murphy fell for this Simon Monjack guy. Dude is crazy. From The Daily Beast:

Simon Monjack, the much-maligned husband of Brittany Murphy, is only days away from filing a wrongful-death action against Warner Brothers, claiming that the studio is responsible for the unexpected death of the 32-year-old actress last December. “They killed her,” he told me. Although the Los Angeles County Coroner’s Office hasn’t released a final cause of death, Monjack and Brittany’s mother, Sharon, who also spoke to me, are convinced that the once-promising star died of a heart attack from the stress caused by Warner Brother’s canceling of a contract just two weeks before she died. Murphy was excited to have begun production on the sequel to the animated hit Happy Feet, but when she was fired by Warner Brothers, Monjack says, “She was devastated.”

I think Simon may be onto something here. Follow with me: Brittany goes to the Happy Feet 2 audition and, hoping to hook up with her in one of the empty offices in the back, the casting director tells her she has a nice voice. Brittany naturally interprets his compliment as a contract offer. Months later, she drops dead of a heart attack in the shower. Seems like a pretty open and shut case to me. I wouldn't be surprised if Warner Bros. just settled out of court with Simon by giving him a percentage of the company.