Bitter beer face!
Are Larry King and his wife Shawn Southwick reconsidering their divorce
? Um, I don't know. Why are you asking me? I thought you
knew. From Radar
“Larry King and Shawn met with a counselor today,” the talk show host’s spokesman Howard Rubenstein tells RadarOnline.com. “It was decided there would be no divorce activity for two weeks as several issues need to be discussed and resolved.”
Of course they're not getting a divorce. Larry finally realized that he never signed a prenup and Shawn knows that she just has to wait it out for a few more weeks before she inherits everything. It's relationships like these, between multimillionaire octogenarians and money-grubbing succubi, that can teach us all a thing or two about what it truly means to be in love -- oops, that last part came out wrong. I meant to say, "It's relationships like these that make me question the existence of God."*11 pics total in the gallery:
Larry King and Shawn Southwick in L.A.
Believe it or not, these pictures of Larry King and his wife Shawn Southwick were taken after
they both filed for divorce
on Wednesday. So why does Shawn look so happy? Because that dumbass Larry never signed a prenup. From Access Hollywood
King’s attorney confirmed to Access that the couple did not have a prenup, but noted there was another agreement in place that would be brought up during their divorce proceedings. When Access inquired about their other agreement, King’s attorney said he could not go into the details of it.
King’s lawyer also told Access, “He wants this to be an amicable divorce. His major concern is the welfare of his children. Beyond that he is not commenting about the divorce.”
When I first heard about Larry and Shawn's split, the first thing I thought was:
"Oh no. What a horrific tragedy for their children"
"What a dumb bitch -- she just needed to hold out for a couple of more months and she would have inherited everything." Knowing now that they didn't have a pre-nup, of course the only thought that comes to mind is: "What the fuck took her so long?"NOTE
: Obviously Larry hasn't learned the famous proverb "Fool me once, shame
on you -- Fool me eight times, and I'm a complete jackass that deserves
whatever I get."*11 pics total in the gallery:
Larry King and Shawn Southwick at a St. Jude's fundraiser in Washington, DC
Hey, here's an idea Larry: DON'T GET MARRIED AGAIN YOU IDIOT. Both Larry and his wife Shawn Southwick filed for divorce yesterday, citing "irreconcilable differences" -- in Larry's case, because there was no box to check that said "Bitch fucked the little league coach
." And in Shawn's case, because there was no box to check that read "Asshole fucked my sister
." From AP
Larry King filed for divorce on Wednesday shortly before his seventh wife also sought to end the couple's nearly 13-year-old marriage (ed. note: he divorced his 3rd wife Alene Akins twice). The 76-year-old host of CNN's "Larry King Live" filed hours before Shawn King filed her own petition. Both cited "irreconcilable differences."
The couple were married in a hospital room in 1997 three days before Larry King underwent surgery to clear a clogged blood vessel. They have two sons, ages 11 and 9. The petitions differ in that Larry King is seeking joint custody, while his 50-year-old wife wants physical custody.
Larry King is also asking a judge not to award his wife any spousal support and to invalidate an agreement in which he transferred property to her, court records show. Shawn King's petition seeks spousal support from her husband, along with ownership of the couple's home in Beverly Hills, Calif., and two properties in Utah.
I can't help but think this is a mistake by Shawn. I mean, Larry's got it all: looks, personality, . . . great stories about what life was like before the invention of the horseless carriage.*15 pics total in the gallery:
Larry King and Shawn Southwick leaving Mastro's Steakhouse in Beverly Hills
Look, he took his daughter out for Valentine's Day. How nice.UPDATE
: Celebslam reader Ronny just emailed me claiming that that's actually Larry's wife. Ronny, you are one sick bastard. Even I don't think that's funny and I laughed at the end of Titanic
. Get help dude.
Larry King leaving a medical building in Beverly Hills
Roughly a year ago the National Enquirer
accused Larry King's wife Shawn of getting a little on the side
. I know, I can't believe she cheated on that either. Well it turns out Larry may be getting in on that action, too. With his wife's sister Shannon! A close friend of Shawn's told the National Enquirer
"To help her sister out, Shawn sold Shannon her Mercedes-Benz at a huge discount. Just weeks later, Shawn saw Shannon driving a $160,000 car. When Shawn confronted her, Shannon said she’d traded in Shawn’s Mercedes and bought the new car with money she’d earned from voice-over work for a movie. When Shawn asked which movie it was, Shannon claimed she couldn’t remember."
A suspicious Shawn eventually learned her husband
actually bought the car for Shannon, said her close friend.
"Shawn said she also discovered that Larry had spent $1.5 million to put up Shannon at the swank Beverly Hills Hotel for 18 months," divulged the friend - who passed a polygraph test. "Shawn was furious! She said that she wouldn’t have felt so crazy if she’d caught Larry fooling around with a stranger. The fact that he’s cheating with her sister has made it so much worse."
In Larry's defense, you know that scene from Scarface
where Tony Montana has that huge pile of cocaine on his desk? Larry has that too, but it's crushed up Viagra. Where the hell else is he supposed to put his penis?
Larry King and Shawn Southwick leaving Boa restaurant in Beverly Hills
According to Wikipedia, Larry King is 75. 75! How is that even possible? I think there's a 1 missing in that number somewhere. Larry King is so old that, before they have sex, his wife dials 9 - 1 . . . and then leaves the phone off the hook *just in case*