"Get off my lawn!"
Even though he'd been divorced six times before, Larry King didn't sign a prenup when he married Shawn Southwick in 1997. Last week the National Enquirer revealed that Shawn's been screwing another dude for the past six months. But don't worry, Larry's getting screwed too. Out of 50 million dollars. An insider told the tabloid:
"Shawn has had her share of problems with pills. And to her credit -- with Larry's help -- she went to rehab and cleaned up, but the cheating can't be dismissed. Larry has every right to dump her for what she did to him. But Larry refuses to do that - right now. Still, the thought surely can't have escaped him. If Larry decided to dump Shawn, he could be on the hook to her for $50 million -- despite what she did to him. That's a lot of money -- and it's only compounded by the grief she's put him through." (Print Edition - 11/24)
Am I the only one who sees the positive in all this? If Larry plays the sympathy card right, this would be the perfect time to finally get Shawn to do anal.
"This is the hussy that's cheating on me."
Damn, I really thought the seventh marriage would be the charm for Larry King. The National Enquirer is reporting that Larry King's "young wife" Shawn King (she's 48 lol) has been having a year-long affair with "hunky" B-list actor Hector Penate. From the mag:
The Enquirer blockbuster investigation uncovered that Shawn and Hector were so brazen in their adulterous tryst they even made love on the 74 year-old talk show host's desk at home. Their illicit affair began to unravel when Shawn' dependence on the powerful painkiller Vicodin deepened but it didn't end until a livid Larry confronted Penate, sources divulged.The Enquirer first learned about the clandestine affair between the talk show host's lithesome wife and their son's baseball coach months ago but we chose not to publish the explosive details until they were corroborated by multiple sources. (Source)
I laughed until I cried, then cried until I laughed. Is it Christmas already? Because this story is so funny, it should be turned into a sitcom starring Andy Griffith and the girl who played Stephanie Tanner on Full House. Larry, how does it feel to be a cuckold? If you've ever wondered if your wife looked at you as just a fat wallet with a wrinkled set of balls, then wonder no more. How exactly did you find out that your son's baseball coach was deep-drilling your wife? Was it the paper weight that smelled like vinegar? How's this for irony: Hector must have told your son and your wife to "choke up on the bat," but with entirely different outcomes.
[BauerGriffinOnline]
