Shauna Sand

Pure class, that Shauna Sand

I didn't even know Shauna had a drinking problem. Maybe she's seeking help for her addiction to lucite? From TMZ:

Shauna Sand's penchant for booze and attention has finally paid off -- TMZ has learned the former Playboy Playmate has signed on for the next season of "Celebrity Rehab."

We're told Shauna will check into Dr. Drew's famous recovery center in Pasadena [today].

As we previously reported, the show has already lined up several other minor celebs including Tila Tequila and Jason Wahler.

Shauna Sand and Tila Tequila living under the same roof? That's not a reality show, that's a health crisis. Fuck the oil spill, President Obama needs to put a stop to this. Send in the National Guard or something . . .  on second thought, maybe we should keep the men in uniform away from Shauna and Tila. Iraq was hard enough on those guys.

HOW 99% OF CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN TILA TEQUILA AND SHAUNA SAND WILL START: "After I got my last abortion, . . ."

*23 pics total in the gallery: 

Taylor Wane and Shauna Sand bikini pics! (Miami - 5/13)

If you have a family with small children and you were planning on taking a vacation this weekend, you might want to avoid Miami. Shauna Sand and her porn star friend Taylor Wane are in town. Might I suggest Colonial Williamsburg instead? With its period buildings and historical reenactors in authentic dress, it's not just a museum, it's a living history museum. Plus, God doesn't hate Colonial Williamsburg as much as he hates whores, so it's way less likely to get hit this weekend by a freak hurricane, catastrophic flood, or swarm of locusts, which is nice.

*55 pics total in the gallery:

Shauna Sand at the grand opening party for the Beach Bunny Swimwear store in West Hollywood (4/27)

I'm conviced that if scientists cut this chick's head open, they'd find a vibrator instead of a brain.

*12 pics total in the gallery:

Shauna Sand got rejected

That's Shauna Sand getting turned away from Trousdale nightclub last night. Poor thing must have been so embarrassed. It's not that she's not famous enough -- she is. Trousdale just has a strict "1 Dumb Whore at a Time" policy and my ex-girlfriend was already inside.

*10 pics total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Friday, April 2 

Shauna Sand and her "friend" in Miami (pics start here)

Halle Berry leaving a friend's house in L.A. (pics start here)

Benicio Del Toro out and about in Brentwood (pics start here)

Jessica Alba and her daughter Honor Marie in Brentwood (pics start here)

Natalie Imbruglia leaving the Groucho Club in London (pics start here)

January Jones out and about in Los Feliz (pics start here)

Jennifer Love Hewitt on the set of Ghost Whisperer in L.A. (pics start here)

Lisa Rinna leaving Starbucks in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Minnie Driver leaving Le Pain Quotidien in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Kate Hudson on her way to a business meeting in L.A. (pics start here)

Jennifer Lopez shopping at The Grove in L.A. (pics start here)

George Clooney on the set of The Descendants in Oahu (pics start here)

Eva Longoria outside ABC studios in L.A. (pics start here)

Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay on the set of Law & Order: SVU in New York (pics start here)

Shannon Tweed leaving Barney's New York in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Ricky Gervais out and about in New York (pics start here)

Jennifer Hudson leaving Good Morning America studios in New York (pics here)

Elizabeth Berkley leaving Le Pain Quotidian in West Hollywood (pics start here)

*176 pics total in the gallery

Shauna Sand bikini pics! (Miami (3/24)

Damn, it's been a while since I've posted pics of Shauna Sand and her lucite hooker heels. It's just like seeing an old friend you lost touch with . . . if any of your old friends commonly lose everyday, household items up their vagina. "Found my keys!"

Shauna Sand is see through

Oh look, Shauna Sand wore a see-through shirt to the Miami airport on Monday so security officers could see that she didn't have any bombs or weapons on her. That Shauna Sand, always thinking about public safety!

NOTE: To see the uncensored Shauna Sand see-through pic, click the picture above and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Shauna Sand and her daughter Isabella

And that monster is her three daughters, Alexandra, Victoria, and Isabella. They haven't even gone through puberty yet and already they're hooker heel pros. From Shauna's interview with Paper magazine:

Paper magazine: Do you have any tips for walking in stilettos?

Shauna: I've been walking in them for so long. I was a ballerina, so my balance is amazing and I'm used to being on my toes in point shoes. But I also think my stilettos are quite deceiving because they're so comfortable. I have three daughters, who are almost nine, 10 and 12 and even when my kids were like, two, they were able to walk in the stilettos. They're really not that high because they have a platform so once you get used to them, they're so easy to walk in. [Wearing stilettos] is like exercising without exercising. When you wear them, you're actually working your legs and your butt and you can get beautiful muscle definition.

It's gonna be a minor miracle if at least one of Shauna's kids don't have their own Jon & Kate Plus 8-style reality show on TLC by their 20th birthday. "Sure it's hard paying the bills when you're 20 and already have 9 kids, but that's why our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ invented stripping."

Shauna Sand promoting her sex tape in L.A. (11/19)

So, yeah, I guess Chace Crawford (he of Gossip Girl and "I nailed Bar Refaeli" fame) used to date Shauna Sand (she of Succubus: Hell Bent and "I have better balance than Mary Lou Retton" fame). Sweet. From Star:

Four years before Gossip Girl brought him instant stardom, the 18-year-old hunky college freshman had a steamy, sex-filled romance with model/actress Shauna, the ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas and May 1996 Playmate who is 14 years his senior!

"He was so incredibly beautiful — I immediately fell in love with him!" Shauna tells Star exclusively about meeting Chase at a college party in Malibu. The couple began dating "and I even gave him a key to my apartment," Shauna said.

They quickly wore out a path to the bedroom. And though Chace has said he dated a girl for three years while in high school, a friend tells Star: "Chace told me, 'Shauna was the first girl I ever had sex with! She blew my mind, and I'll never forget it!'"

Could you imagine losing your virginity to Shauna Sand? You'd be ruined for the rest of your life. Every sexual encounter would end with your face being slapped and the cops being called. "Wait a minute, I thought all chicks could fit a cantaloupe up their vagina. Isn't that normal?"

Shauna Sand leaving Katsuya restaurant in West Hollywood (11/9)

Do you think when Shauna drinks her afternoon tea at the yacht club, she holds her pinky out?

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics of Shauna Sand's nip slip, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.