The Carrie Prejean sex tape may be releasedThere's been a sexy new development in the
Carrie Prejean sex tape drama. We may get to see it. *unbuttons pants in anticipation* From the
New York Daily News:
Vivid Entertainment, a giant in the world of porn production, has received a copy of Prejean's solo sex tape and is eager to release it to the public. The company says it received the tape legally, but would prefer Prejean's go-ahead before distributing it.
It doesn't seem likely the former Miss California USA would approve such a venture, but with new reports claiming seven other sex tapes of Prejean have surfaced, the risk of a tape getting leaked has multiplied.
RadarOnline.com reported the discovery of the new tapes Friday, along with 30 more nude photos. The videos and images are said to all be solo performances like the first tape.
Since you just know she's heading there, I've got the perfect plot for Carrie's first porno. Picture this: Carrie is an outspoken minister that rails against the sins of gay marriage. When she finally realizes she can't convince gay men not to get married with her words, she's left with no other choice but to try and "convert" them with her body . . . four at a time. This movie would have everything: politics, scandal, and best of all -- a
ménage à cinco. And as an added bonus, four dicks in her mouth seems like the perfect way to finally get Carrie to shut up.
Jon Gosselin made a sex tape You knew it was only a matter of time. Jon Gosselin made a sex tape. Oh yeah, and apparently he's a cokehead. He should move to Hollywood. He'll fit right in. From the
National Enquirer:
Jon's bodyguard Thomas Meinelt . . .
Wow, it only took four words for me to start shaking my head in disbelief. Jon, you're not the President or Whitney Houston. You don't need a bodyguard.
has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC's lawsuit against Jon, and The ENQUIRER has learned Meinelt claims he saw Jon snort cocaine many times, and that he's watched Jon's secret sex tape!
"Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he's seen the tape!" said Stephanie Santoro, Jon's former flame and family nanny. "Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!"
So it's John having sex with another woman? OK,
whew. I assumed the tape was shot a few years ago and featured Kate nailing a whimpering Jon in the ass with a huge black strap-on. You think I'm kidding? Just watch
this clip of Kate verbally undressing Jon. You're high if you think he wasn't left in tears after every time they had sex.
Carrie Prejean admits she made a sex tape In an interview with
Fox News' Sean Hannity last night,
Carrie Prejean acknowledged the existence of
a rumored sex tape featuring her. Oh but she can explain. Of course she can. There's no actual non-Christian-like premarital sex in the video, just some hot masturbation action, which God thinks totally rocks. Transcript via
PopEater:
"I was all by myself. I was sending my boyfriend at the time, who I loved and cared about, a video of me."
*lights candle*
"I was a teenager . . ."
FYI: I am no longer wearing pants
"at the time and never did I ever think it would come out. When you're young, you think, This is the one," Prejean continued while trying to justify her reasoning at the time for making the video. "Never did I think it would come and just slap me right in the face."
The former Miss California USA chalks it up as "bad judgment. It's embarrassing. It's humiliating to be talking about this on national TV, if you can imagine."
You can check out a clip of the interview
on PAGE 2. I'm also creating a sexier version of the interview where I replace Sean Hannity's voice with light music. I should be done in about an hour. Email me if you want a copy.
Carrie Prejean has a sex tape It was learned today that disgraced
former Miss California Carrie Prejean is a naughty naughty girl. Oh yeah baby, you are so naughty. From
TMZ:
Carrie Prejean demanded more than a million dollars during her settlement negotiations with Miss California USA Pageant officials -- that is, until the lawyer for the Pageant showed Carrie an XXX home video of her handiwork.
The video the lawyer showed Carrie is extremely graphic and has never been released publicly. We know that, because TMZ obtained the video months ago but decided not to post it because it was so racy. Let's just say, Carrie has a promising solo career.
Liar whores. If someone actually did send them the tape, that thing would have been posted faster than it takes Rosie O'Donnell to empty out the mac and cheese tray at a Hometown Buffet.
We're told it took about 15 seconds for Carrie to jettison her demand and essentially walk away with nothing. As we first reported, the Pageant is paying around $100,000 to her lawyers and publicist -- a fraction of her bills. She pockets nothing in the settlement.
There's an important lesson to be learned here kids: when the clothes come off, the camera goes away. I know the idea of it seems fun and risque, but it can only lead to trouble down the road. When I was the talk of the runway circuit in Europe last summer, I was propositioned left and right by top models wanting to make a sex tape. Sorry baby, but this magic doesn't get put to film. You think I want one of those tapes leaking and suddenly I'm known as "just" the guy with the huge cock. No thank you.
The Shauna Sand sex tape is here Remember yesterday when I made the joke that Shauna Sand probably hired a director and film crew for
her sex tape. Dude, I think I was right. Check out
this picture (
VERY NSFW). Doesn't exactly scream "amateur" now does it. Other things Shauna isn't screaming include "No," "Don't put it in my ass please," and "Not so hard, you'll knock my degree off the wall."
NOTE: To see the uncensored pics of
Shauna Sand having sex, click the headline pic (or
thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or
bottom of the image.
Shauna Sand at Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood (10/11)
Vivid Video has acquired a "hardcore" sex tape featuring Shauna Sand and her boyfriend that they're planning on releasing next week. Gee, what a non-shock. From
TMZ:
Sand just told us, "Yes I did make a sex tape with my boyfriend earlier this year. In fact I've made several sex tapes, but I certainly didn't sign off on this and Vivid has no right to put it out. I am trying to get a hold of my attorney now."
But Vivid founder Steven Hirsch says he's legally entitled to hawk the tape, saying, "We were approached by a third party, who brought us footage of Shauna having sex with her current boyfriend and we were immediately interested in acquiring it ... We're comfortable with our legal position in releasing this footage."
I know what you're thinking: "Oh great, another blurry celebrity sex tape. No thank you." But you'd be wrong. Shauna's the first celebrity who actually hired a director and film crew to make her sex tape. I mean, right? That just seems like something she'd do.
Lindsay Lohan sex tape back in the news
I thought we were done with this last week but I guess not. UK tabloid The Sun is still claiming that the blurry pic above is Lindsay Lohan. They say ex-boyfriend Calum Best filmed her with his phone and then forwarded it on to one of his friends. A source claims they heard Lindsay leave the following message on Calum's phone:
"I should never have fucking trusted you. It's everywhere now, all over the net, everyone's seen it, how fucking could you?" (Source)
I felt the same way about that powerlifting clip of me that hit YouTube. I was happy enough being a local hero. I never wanted to be an internet sensation. To tell you the truth, I kinda miss those days when I actually had to introduce myself to a woman before she thrust herself upon me.
BONUS PICS: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson leaving Villa Lounge in West Hollywood last night
[WENN]
Spencer Pratt sex tape?
I know you guys are dying to know the latest gossip about Spencer Pratt from MTV's The Hills. Really what's not to love about the guy--there's his . . . uhhh, he's . . . who can forget about his . . . just a minute, something should come to me . . . damn, nothing. Moving along, a source told the National Enquirer's Mike Walker that Spencer has been quietly shopping a sex tape featuring him and a few friends:
Spencer's actually got a sex tape of his own that shows him and a few buddies exploring the, er . . . hills and valleys of some smokin' hot Brazilian babes! (Note to Spencer's fiancee, Heidi Monta: The alleged Samba Land group grope was lensed way before you two became betrothed, but know this: My source says Spencer showed the tape to a Hollywood video editor and repeatedly asked him to spruce it up – saying he might secretly release it into the marketplace while claiming it was "stolen," al la Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, etc. (Source)
Releasing a "stolen" sex tape is soooo last year. If this guy really wants to generate some publicity for himself, he should abuse some children (e.g. Britney Spears) or get himself thrown in jail (e.g. Paris, Nicole, Mel, L'il Kim, Michelle Rodriguez, et al.). That way he can come out of prison with some street cred . . . and with those lips, probably lock jaw. Besides, for someone who wants so much attention I get the feeling he'd be VERY popular in jail--and by "he" I mean his butt.
Another Britney Spears sex tape?
Didn't we already go through this last week? Looks like yet another Britney Spears sex tape may soon hit the market. From UK tabloid The Sun:
Britney Spears may face a new sex tape scandal after it has emerged that kinky videos and photographs were among the items stolen from the star's Los Angeles home this weekend. Britney is allegedly distraught after the gang made off with a number of personal items, including a dominatrix-style outfit, after breaking into her £6million Beverly Hills pad. A source says:"Britney is beside herself with worry - having your home broken into is bad enough for anybody, but when you're famous and you have had some pretty personal things taken, it's ten times worse. These guys went first for all Britney's personal stuff. They seemed to know in the long run this will be worth far more to them, if they can sell it to the highest bidder." (Source)
Literally the only thing I'd rather see less than a Britney Spears sex tape is my grandparents going at it. And I guarantee you my grandma looks better in a dominatrix outfit than Britney. My grandpa's the one I can't get over--I'd hate to see him naked. Fatty.
Britney Spears Sex Tape?
Some "mystery dude" is supposedly shopping a sex tape he made with Britney Spears earlier this year in Hawaii. The guy claims the only reason he didn't come out with this earlier is because he was unhappy with his own performance. He told In Touch Weekly:
"It was just normal sex, we didn't do anything crazy. It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out."The 28-year-old reveals he was living on Hawaii's Big Island when he met Spears at a bar on June 7. They retired to her room at the Four Seasons hotel on the Kona-Kohala Coast and made love. The mystery lover admits Spears had no knowledge he was filming their sex session. (Source)
The 1999 version of myself just set off fireworks over his house and is taking tomorrow off from work to prepare himself mentally for the existence of a Britney Spears sex tape. The 2007 version of myself just scratched his ass and is thinking about ordering a pizza for dinner.
