Sienna Miller broke up Sean Penn's marriage
It was probably Sienna Miller's fault that Sean Penn and his wife of 20 years, Robin Wright Penn, are divorcing. You see, Sienna's a whore and Sean loves whores. A source told the New York Daily News about a recent party both attended:
"Sienna was sitting on Sean's lap. She was dressed very sexily. She had her arm around his neck." That night, claims the source, they stayed up quite late. One Penn friend maintains there was never anything romantic between them. "Sienna is like that with everyone," says the friend. "She's very physical. She drapes herself over people she likes. She doesn't mean a lot by it." (Source)
Weird. Hot blondes sit on my lap and "drape themselves" over me all the time when I visit "Tits and Giggles", and it's never hurt my relationship. Sure when I'm at cocktail parties I sometimes shove $1 bills down random women's dresses and I love glitter more than a 27-year-old male probably should, but what connoisseur of strippers doesn't? . . . Did I mention the smell of coco butter tends to give me wood?
Bauer-Griffin
Actor Sean Penn had a face-to-face meeting with dictator Hugo Chavez last week. In a nationally televised speech the anti-American leader of Venezuela heaped praise on Penn for his vociferous protest against the Iraq war. Chavez said:
"What moves [Sean] is his conscience. He's one of the greatest opponents of the Iraq invasion ... He's well informed about what goes on in the United States despite being in Hollywood." Chavez, who's closing down newspapers and TV stations that criticize his policies, said he chatted with Penn by phone Wednesday and they agreed to meet in Caracas [on Thursday]. Chavez read part of Penn's open letter to the White House in which Penn described Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice as "criminally obscene people." Penn wisely did not speak in public. (Source)
He's "moved by his conscience"...? Considering how full of shit Sean Penn is, the only "movement" he should be having is in his bowels. If he really wants to be a Communist, I'm sure Venezuela, North Korea, or somewhere more "Communisty" would love to have him. He just has to leave all of his worldly possessions behind--except the crabs and syphilis (Thanks a lot Madonna!).
Rapper/actress Eve was arrested for DUI early this morning after she crashed her gold Maserati into a center divider on Hollywood Boulevard. According to TMZ, Eve was "visibly upset" as she was handcuffed and led into a squad car (Editors Note: NO SHIT). Around 4:00 AM Sean Penn showed up to the police station to make sure Eve was OK. Wait, Sean Penn?
Hard time couldn't have been that bad for just-busted rapper Eve -- TMZ has learned that she got an early morning celebrity visit from Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn! Police sources said, "He came to see how Eve was doing." (Source)
I guess the obvious question here is how and why a 46-year-old Oscar winning actor is friends with a 28-year-old hip hop artist. That's just odd. What's also odd is that no clothing company has seen fit to design a line of evening wear specially tailored for men with huge upper bodies. Sometimes--when I note that lack of dinner jackets in my closet--I almost wish I wasn't born with such incredible strength. But then I flex in the mirror and those thoughts are tossed aside. God I'm sexy. And modest. "Sexily modest" if you will.
If you can understand what the hell Sean Penn was talking about at an anti-war rally in Oakland over the weekend, you're a better man than me:
"We cower as you point your fingers telling us to support our troops. You and the smarmy pundits in your pocket - those who bathe in the moisture of your soiled and blood-soaked underwear - can take that noise and shove it." (Source)
Soiled and blood-soaked underwear? Yikes, I just had a flashback to my first day of high school. I'll never forget the looks of horror across everyone's faces, followed half-a-second later by the laughing--I swear teachers can be so cruel sometimes. High school was effectively ruined for me after the "incident" on that first day ... "soiled and blood-soaked underwear guy" is kind of a tough label to shake.
Actor Sean Penn is blatantly flouting Canadian law:
The Oscar winner puffed on a cigarette during a press conference in a hotel at the Toronto Film Festival last week, when he was promoting his new movie, "All the King's Men." In the state of Ontario smoking is banned in all enclosed public places. Although politicians and anti-tobacco campaigners called for him to be charged by police, he has escaped with just a written warning from Toronto public health officials. Despite the leniency, Ontario Health Promotion Minister Jim Watson insists, "We don't have a system in Canada where we have preferential treatment for someone who's famous or rich. "We welcome stars and mere mortals and everyone else to Ontario and they have to respect our laws." The Toronto Sutton Place Hotel, where the incident took place, must pay $540 for the violation.
You can't smoke in a public place in Canada? That has to be wrong! I thought Canada was the place where law and order goes to die, where anarchy and chaos reign supreme. In fact I read an article just the other day about a guy going on a wild crime spree, hijacking an ambulance and running over 100 pedestrians......now that I think about it, I may be confusing Canada with Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I love that game. I'm such a winner.
