Scott Disick isn't even trying to hide it
Things we learned after Scott Disick and Kendall Jenner's lunch at Il Pastaio in Beverly Hills on Saturday:
*30 Scott Disick and Kendall Jenner pictures total in the gallery:
- Il Pastaio makes some good looking calamari
- Scott Disick definitely, without a doubt, wants to fuck Kendall Jenner
Scott Disick at 1OAK Nightclub at The Mirage Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas
Remember a few weeks ago when Scott Disick went to rehab all the way down in Costa Rica? And remember how, coincidentally, he happened to go to the same rehab center that hired him as a spokesman earlier this year? Remember how shady that all sounded? Well there's Scott hosting a party at a nightclub in Las Vegas on Saturday night. I know, right? It almost seems like his profitable trip to Costa Rica wasn't a sincere attempt to get clean after all. I don't know what to believe anymore.
*5 Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:
Scott Disick arriving at Kingdom nightclub in Liverpool, UK
If it sounds just a bit shady that Scott Disick is in rehab all the way down in Costa Rica, that's because it is. The rehab center -- the Rythmia Life Advancement Center -- is paying him to be a spokesman. Nice. Glad to see he's doing it for all the right reasons. A source told In Touch Weekly
"Scott knows he needs help," a source tells 'In Touch.' "But being paid for it is probably what motivated him the most."
But the center he chose uses a controversial treatment, a drug called Ibogaine. "It produces hallucinations similar to LSD," says Dr. Gregory Smith, an addiction specialist who hasn't counseled Scott, adding that while it has helped some addicts, "others have committed suicide after taking it." Which worries Kourtney Kardashian, Scott's longtime girlfriend and the mom of his three kids.
Wait, so people have committed suicide after taking the drugs Scott is taking . . .
"She wants him to get help, but she's not sold on having him do drugs to get healthy," says a source close to Scott. "But he wants to prove himself to her. He knows this will be his last chance."
The "Insufferable Fucking Douchebag" segment is nearly 8% of the global rehab market, so with Scott as their spokesman, Rythmia pretty much has that locked up. It's quite brilliant when you think about it.*15 Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:
Scott Disick arriving on a flight at LAX airport
After a tequila-fueled bender in Atlantic City over the weekend, Scott Disick has entered rehab. Oh cool, he should stay there. From TMZ
Disick checked into Rythmia Life Advancement Center in Costa Rica. He says, "I realize my issues are bigger than me and I'm ready to truly remedy this struggle I continue to battle."
Scott was in Atlantic City over the weekend where he did multiple shots of tequila right out in the open. He then went on a rant onstage and ended the night at 8 AM, where he was stumbling in the hotel lobby without shoes. At 5 PM people went to his room to do a welfare check when he was MIA.
As for his treatment, he says he is doing Iboga treatment, which involves roots from a small African tree that supposedly helps people battle addiction.
As for why he flew all the way down to Costa Rica for rehab, there's actually a primitive tribe living in the deep jungle there that doesn't realize yet that he's an enormous douchebag. They're the only ones on Earth, and Scott just wanted a few weeks of relaxation. I see this ending in his death.*10 Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:
Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick leaving Suki Zuki in Watermill, New York
In what absolutely doesn't sound like some cheap plot drama for their new reality show, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick filed a police report with the Southampton Town Police after $4k went missing from the bedroom of their modest, $13.9 million rental home. What, couldn't spring for the $15 million villa? From Radar
While on Long Island filming their spinoff Kourtney and Khloé Take The Hamptons, Scott Disick called the police about a burglar who stole pricey property from inside their summer mega-mansion, RadarOnline.com has learned.
Kourtney's flashy baby daddy made the complaint to Southampton Town Police on July 8 around 4 p.m. and told officers that between Jul. 1-4, an "unknown person did unlawfully remove" the cash "from an attache case that was stored in a bedroom."
The case is currently being classified as third-degree grand larceny, which is a felony. The report doesn't indicate there was any damage done to the $13.9 million waterfront rental.
Perhaps the most troubling aspect of this story isn't that someone broke into Kourtney and Scott's home and stole $4k; it's that it took them three days to notice it was missing. If I had $4k in cash, I'd guard it like the crown jewels. But not Scott -- he just leaves it laying around the house in an attache case like a fucking Bond villain. I've never wanted someone to intentionally die of ebola before, but this asshole is seriously testing my patience.*30 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Scott Disick at 1OAK in Southampton, New York
Scott Disick giving people another reason to punch him is a very risky move on his part. In other words, I'm totally for it. Only good can come from him soaking people with alcohol. And by "good" I mean broken things. Like eye sockets and cheek bones. Please happen.
*15 Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:
Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick catching a flight at Miami International Airport
Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy Scott Disick has allegedly moved out of the Kardashian Kompound in Calabasas and into the Montage Beverly Hills Hotel. And he's already cheating on her. With a woman whose name might not begin with the letter K. Kris Jenner is gonna be so pissed. From In Touch Weekly
And while Kourtney is used to Scott's partying and volatility, his behavior at the Montage on Dec. 6 will be a devastating surprise. An eyewitness tells In Touch that Scott was spotted getting cozy with a sexy brunette.
"The woman was in her 20s and exotic-looking," recalls patron Thomas Johnson, who spotted the pair in the lobby. "She was pulling a small suitcase on wheels and Scott put both his arms around the small of her back, kissed her on the cheek and whispered into her ear. When Scott pulled back, he kept his hand on her hips and leaned back, as if to check her out."
Johnson tells In Touch, "The way he touched her and the way they looked at each other suggested they were a lot more than friends. A man with a long-term partner and two children should never behave like that with another woman."
Aw, is Kourtney getting played by a non-Kardashian? How sad. You hear that? That faint sound? It's me playing the world's saddest song on the world's smallest violin. Look, we can all agree that Scott Disick might be the biggest douche rocket in the history of reality television, but at least he's pinching as big a loaf on a Kardashian as the Kardashians are on Western culture. This is how the Universe puts itself back into balance. My spirit guide tells me that having one family act as shamelessly as Team KKK is the reason why children starve in Africa and why the Raiders will NEVER win another Super Bowl, and he's never wrong. Of course, my spirit guide is the ghost of a dog who only speaks to me after I down a fifth of Jack, so you can probably disregard everything I just wrote.*15 Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kanye West and Scott Disick leaving Maxfield in L.A.
Awww, look. Kanye West and Scott Disick are walking around L.A. in matching shirts. How cute. So at what point does Kanye reveal that he secretly has a pussy? Before the wedding? After? I HAVE THE GREATEST SECRET PUSSY IN THE HISTORY OF SECRET PUSSIES.*10 Kanye West and Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:
Scott Disick is clearly old money
Scott Disick posted some really classy pics to Instagram over the weekend. There was the one of his cars, his many watches, his bags full of money, and my personal favorite: the wad of hundred dollar bills in place of toilet paper in his bathroom. I think he's trying to tell us that he's so rich that he wipes his ass with hundreds. Seems smart. Especially when the family breadwinner is a one-dimensional reality star. Those people always stay famous!*10 Scott Disick money pictures total in the gallery:
Scott Disick driving in L.A.
Even though it's been illegal for the past few years, the amazingly-unlikable Scott Disick was spotted chatting on his cell phone while driving his yellow Ferrari down the 101 in L.A., endangering literally hundreds of lives, including many orphans. "Fuck orphans," Scott would presumably say if he read Celebslam
, as he sat back smoking his cigar made of rare historical documents.*5 Scott Disick Ferrari pictures total in the gallery: