Scott Disick

Scott Disick at 1OAK in Southampton, New York (6/21)

Scott Disick giving people another reason to punch him is a very risky move on his part. In other words, I'm totally for it. Only good can come from him soaking people with alcohol. And by "good" I mean broken things. Like eye sockets and cheek bones. Please happen.

*15 Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:

  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 1
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 2
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 3
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 4
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 5
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 6
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 7
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 8
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 9
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 10
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 11
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 12
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 13
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 14
  • Scott Disick Champagne Spray 15

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick catching a flight at Miami International Airport (11/23)

Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy Scott Disick has allegedly moved out of the Kardashian Kompound in Calabasas and into the Montage Beverly Hills Hotel. And he's already cheating on her. With a woman whose name might not begin with the letter K. Kris Jenner is gonna be so pissed. From In Touch Weekly:
And while Kourtney is used to Scott's partying and volatility, his behavior at the Montage on Dec. 6 will be a devastating surprise. An eyewitness tells In Touch that Scott was spotted getting cozy with a sexy brunette.

"The woman was in her 20s and exotic-looking," recalls patron Thomas Johnson, who spotted the pair in the lobby. "She was pulling a small suitcase on wheels and Scott put both his arms around the small of her back, kissed her on the cheek and whispered into her ear. When Scott pulled back, he kept his hand on her hips and leaned back, as if to check her out."

Johnson tells In Touch, "The way he touched her and the way they looked at each other suggested they were a lot more than friends. A man with a long-term partner and two children should never behave like that with another woman."
Aw, is Kourtney getting played by a non-Kardashian? How sad. You hear that? That faint sound? It's me playing the world's saddest song on the world's smallest violin. Look, we can all agree that Scott Disick might be the biggest douche rocket in the history of reality television, but at least he's pinching as big a loaf on a Kardashian as the Kardashians are on Western culture. This is how the Universe puts itself back into balance. My spirit guide tells me that having one family act as shamelessly as Team KKK is the reason why children starve in Africa and why the Raiders will NEVER win another Super Bowl, and he's never wrong. Of course, my spirit guide is the ghost of a dog who only speaks to me after I down a fifth of Jack, so you can probably disregard everything I just wrote.

*15 Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kourtney Scott Problems 1
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 2
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 3
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 4
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 5
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 6
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 7
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 8
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 9
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  • Kourtney Scott Problems 11
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 12
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 13
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 14
  • Kourtney Scott Problems 15

Kanye West and Scott Disick leaving Maxfield in L.A. (11/13)

Awww, look. Kanye West and Scott Disick are walking around L.A. in matching shirts. How cute. So at what point does Kanye reveal that he secretly has a pussy? Before the wedding? After? I HAVE THE GREATEST SECRET PUSSY IN THE HISTORY OF SECRET PUSSIES.

*10 Kanye West and Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 1
  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 2
  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 3
  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 4
  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 5
  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 6
  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 7
  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 8
  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 9
  • Kanye West Scott Disick Matching Shirts 10

Scott Disick is clearly old money

Scott Disick posted some really classy pics to Instagram over the weekend. There was the one of his cars, his many watches, his bags full of money, and my personal favorite: the wad of hundred dollar bills in place of toilet paper in his bathroom. I think he's trying to tell us that he's so rich that he wipes his ass with hundreds. Seems smart. Especially when the family breadwinner is a one-dimensional reality star. Those people always stay famous!

*10 Scott Disick money pictures total in the gallery:

  • Scott Disick Hundreds as Toilet Paper
  • Scott Disick Garage
  • Scott Disick Watches
  • Scott Disick White Lambo
  • Scott Disick Back Seat Screen
  • Scott Disick Wad of Money
  • Scott Disick Diamonds
  • Scott Disick Rolex Yacht Master
  • Scott Disick Hundreds
  • Scott Disick Designer Bags

Scott Disick driving in L.A. (9/7)

Even though it's been illegal for the past few years, the amazingly-unlikable Scott Disick was spotted chatting on his cell phone while driving his yellow Ferrari down the 101 in L.A., endangering literally hundreds of lives, including many orphans. "Fuck orphans," Scott would presumably say if he read Celebslam, as he sat back smoking his cigar made of rare historical documents.

*5 Scott Disick Ferrari pictures total in the gallery:

  • Scott Disick Breaking Law
  • Scott Disick New Ferrari
  • Scott Disick Cell Phone While Talking
  • Scott Disick Ferrari California
  • Scott Disick Expensive Auto

Scott Disick leaving Barney's New York in Beverly Hills (6/25)

Surprisingly absolutely no one, Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy Scott Doucheick bought a new Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe in the most loud and obnoxious shade of yellow I think I've ever seen on a car. Pretty sure you can see that bitch from Space. Even Paris Hilton thinks that's tacky and she's Paris Hilton.

*20 Scott Disick Rolls Royce pictures total in the gallery:

  • Scott Disick Yellow Rolls Royce
  • Scott Disick New Rolls
  • Scott Disick Driving
  • Scott Disick Suicide Doors Car
  • Scott Disick Preppy Look
  •  Scott Disick New Hairstyle
  • Scott Disick Phat Ride
  • Scott Disick Expensive Car
  • Scott Disick at Calabasas Luxury Motorcars
  • Scott Disick Blue Shoes
  • Scott Disick Designer Jeans
  • Scott Disick Looking Douchy
  • Scott Disick Shopping at Barneys New York
  • Scott Disick Gucci Shoes
  • Scott Disick Designer Brand Whore
  • Scott Disick Spending Money
  • Scott Disick Picking Nose
  • Scott Disick Ripped Jeans
  • Scott Disick Fashion Style
  • Scott Disick Diamond Watch

Scott Disick is drunk

According to WENN, that's Kourtney Kardashian's douchy boyfriend Scott Disick leaving London's Project nightclub early Sunday morning and "heading to a private residence with some girls, where they stayed till 4am." Well, yeah, of course he went home with multiple girls. It's really hard to play Boggle by yourself. "8-letter word, bitch! Beat that!"

*15 Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:

  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 1
  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 2
  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 3
  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 4
  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 5
  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 6
  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 7
  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 8
  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 9
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  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 11
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  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 14
  • Scott Disick Drunk in London 15

Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian shopping in Beverly Hills (2/18)

Scott Disick's "2013 Father of the Year" candidacy is officially over. So sad. From Life & Style:
Scott Disick is picking partying over family time -- again! Life & Style has learned that during a recent family vacation to Punta Mita, Mexico, Scott left Kourtney Kardashian -- his girlfriend and the mother of their two children -- behind to blow off steam at a nightclub an hour away. While Kourtney cared for little Mason and Penelope, Scott and a group of pals drove more than 50 miles down the Mexican coastline for a night out at Strana in Puerto Vallarta.

"Scott and Kourtney got into a huge fight about it," a source tells Life & Style, on newsstands now. "She was pissed he was partying when they were supposed to be on a family vacation. Kourtney hates clubs and thinks it's embarrassing that Scott feels the need to go out and party instead of staying with her and the kids."
Scott's a dick, but I think Kourtney's in the wrong on this one. Sure, it was supposed to be a family vacation, but I feel the need to point something out: Kourtney Mary Kardashian is as boring a conversationalist as anyone ever to be farted out of Kris Jenner's  money-hole. I mean, doesn't Kourtney watch her own show? It's a half hour of her incessantly whining into her iPhone (via speaker, no less) about relationships and vacations. The fact that Scott didn't go all Mindy McCready and give himself a 9mm haircut is a real testament to his patience and listening skills. What, too soon?

*20 Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 1
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 2
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 3
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 4
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 5
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 6
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 7
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 8
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 9
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  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 11
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 12
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 13
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 14
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 15
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 16
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 17
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 18
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 19
  • Scott Disick Mexico Partying 20

Scott Disick leaving Kim Kardashian's house in Beverly Hills (1/2)

Haute Living has a "Day in the Life" feature on Scott Disick, and holy shit, is it possible to unread something? Because I feel physically, spiritually, and emotionally sick right now.
12PM "My biggest choice of the day is the wristwatch. If the day is professional and I know I have important meetings or am closing a business deal, I will wear what feels to be the most successful of my watches: a Patek Philippe. If my day seems more relaxed I will just wear a Rolex. If I know I have an event to go to and I want to be a little flashy I will wear one of my completely flawless diamond Jacob and Co. watches."

12:30PM "Another hard decision comes to hand: picking the right vehicle for the day. If it's a nice day and the sun is out, I will take my Rolls Royce Drophead Convertible. If I'm in a sportier mood, I will take my 458 Ferrari. But if I'm just looking to lay back and enjoy my day, I will take my Bentley Mulsanne."
Dammit, I thought I was having a good morning -- I found a dollar in my pocket, my lady friend had her period, AND my test came back negative . . . then it was ruined by Scott Kardashian-Disick. I can't express in words how much I dislike this turd, so I'm not about to keep wishing for the zombie apocalypse to happen because I'm sure that somehow, someway, this lucky bastard will not only find a way to survive, but profit off all our rotting corpses. Fuck it, I'm getting drunk.

*15 Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:

  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 1
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 2
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 3
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 4
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 5
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 6
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 7
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 8
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 9
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 10
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 11
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 12
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 13
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 14
  • Scott Disick Complete Douche 15

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick arriving on a flight at LAX airport (12/16)

Kourtney Kardashian actually put her personal life ahead of ratings? Wait, what? Am I trapped in some kind of parallel universe where left is right, up is down, and the Kardashians don't sell their souls to the highest bidder? From Life & Style:
Scott Disick's offer of a ring is rejected by Kourtney Kardashian -- again! In the new issue of Life & Style on newsstands now, insiders reveal that Scott had been planning to get down on one knee -- for the second time in two years -- while the couple were in Miami filming Kourtney & Kim Take Miami; however, Kourtney got cold feet.

"She didn't allow for an engagement to be filmed," shares a Kardashian insider. "They did not film a proposal, and it was because of Kourtney. She said, 'No.' She does not want to be engaged."

For Scott, it was a repeat of 2010, when he'd bought a sparkler with yellow pavé diamonds only to have Kourtney cut off his plans during what was supposed to be their proposal dinner at Le Cirque.

"Kourtney really has been very vocal and told everyone how she does not want to marry Scott," a friend reveals to Life & Style. "She does not think their relationship is perfect and is scared of divorce. But Scott's not happy about her never saying yes to a proposal."
Nope. Sorry, I'm not gonna play this game. If Kourtney says she doesn't want to marry Scott because he's white, then I'll be OK with that, but this isn't anything of the sort. Kourtney Kardashian (she's the K in Team KKK) wants us to believe that she's a graceful flower who's above living her life on E!? Please, I've seen more class in a bukkake film. I'll bet the farm that this is more of a contract negotiation ploy by Mama Kris, who makes Honey Boo Boo's mother look like Princess Di. If we can get past this pesky Apocalypse today (and if the show survives another year) not only will we see Kourtney accept a ring from Scott, I bet we'll see the third Kourtney/Scott demon-bastard-child get consummated in her backside.

*15 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 1
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 2
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 3
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 4
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 5
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 6
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 7
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 8
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  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 10
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 11
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 12
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 13
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 14
  • Kourtney Kardashian Proposal 15

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