Scarlett Johansson hates taking pictures with fans
If you ever happen to run across Scarlett Johansson in public, whatever you do, don't ask her to take a picture. Why? Because she's a bitch. From the New York Post:
Scarlett Johansson wants everyone to know she's not a tourist attraction. The actress and fiancé Ryan Reynolds hit the Lower East Side spot National Underground the other night "wearing matching bowler hats," our spy said. Even though Johansson was "dressed down in a black blazer and jeans," the doorman recognized her. Our spy said that "the doorman asked to take a photo with Scarlett" but that she snapped, "I'm not the Statue of Liberty," before heading inside. (Source)
Scarlett's right, she's not the Statue of Liberty. She's got huge tits, and that uppity bronze bitch is only an A or B-cup at best. Scarlett better realize pretty soon that as a celebrity whose only redeeming quality qualities are found in her bra, she better not start taking the public for granted. Because in a few years, the only "assets" she owns are going to start falling faster than brokerage houses on Wall Street. And her's aren't FDIC insured either.
Scarlett Johansson is full of herself
Woody Allen has created a monster. And her name is Scarlett Johansson. After appearing in Allen's latest film Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Johansson's ego has exploded. From Page Six:
One well-placed source told Page Six that producers on Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Johansson's latest Allen flick, have been grumbling that Scarlett isn't the same . . . She's turned into the biggest prima donna." The source added that the same producers raved about working with her on Match Point, when "everyone said she was a sweetheart . . . now they say, 'Scarlett's let it get to her head.' " (Source)
Being Woody Allen's muse hasn't turned Scarlett Johanson into a prima donna. Her huge boobs have. Besides, young women that hang out with Woody Allen don't typically feel better about themselves, they feel dirty. And I don't know why 72-year-old Woody's spending so much time with 23-year-old Scarlett anyway -- she's much too old for him . . . and not his daughter.
Barack does his best Scarlett Johansson impersonation
Scarlett Johansson claims to have a "personal dialogue" with Barack Obama . . . which is news to Barack Obama. Earlier this month, Johansson told Politico.com:
She told Politico: "You'd imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly traveling and constantly 'on' - how can he return these personal emails? But he does, and in his off-time I know he also calls people who have donated the minimum to thank them. Nobody sees it, nobody talks about it, but it’s incredible. I feel like I'm supporting someone, and having a personal dialogue with them, and it's amazing." (Source)
Obama told reported Tuesday:
"[Scarlett] sent one email to [my assistant] Reggie [Love], who forwarded it to me. I [wrote] saying, 'Thank you Scarlett for doing what you do,' and suddenly we have this email relationship." (Source)
Careful Barack, those are mighty dangerous waters you're treading. If Scarlett wants you, she will do and say whatever it takes to get her hands on your ripped, sexy body and then not even call you the next morning BITCH WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL!!!
NOTE: I know one of the higher ups working on the Obama campaign. He claims Halle Berry is straight-up obsessed with him. She's been quoted as saying she would "do anything for him" which my source backs up (in his words, Halle has a "schoolgirl crush" on him). Earlier this year Halle was trying to set up an appearance on the Today Show with Barack but the idea was killed by Michelle, Barack's wife. She pretty much hates Halle and doesn't want her getting within 50 feet of her husband.
[WENN]
Scarlett Johansson is more "needy" than a shiatsu massager
One person noticeably absent from the Cannes Film Festival premiere of Woody Allen's new flick Vicky Cristina Barcelona: star of the film Scarlett Johansson. After weeks of negotiations with Johansson's reps that went nowhere, the French distributors of the film finally told her to stay home. The Daily Mail reports:
They were willing, and happy, to pay for flights, hotel, provide a limousine, arrange for designers to show her gowns and for her to share hair and make-up designers with Cruz and Hall. However, Johansson demanded her own exclusive make-up consultant at a cost of 5,000 Euros a day, which was felt a tad too much for a four day trip where looking after the star's tresses and powdering her nose would cost a total of 20,000 Euros.Then there was the problem over an hotel. The film's director and his leading ladies were delighted to be staying in the centre of Cannes to make it easier for them to attend screenings, public events and to do interviews for TV and press. Johansson wanted to be at an hotel way out in the sticks, some 25 to 30 miles away. (Source)
What does Scarlett Johansson need with a personal make-up consultant? That chick looks better waking up in the morning* than most girls do for their wedding portraits. The real shame here is that Scarlett didn't make a personal appearance in the one city on Earth built specifically for her: Cannes.
*did I mention she makes a killer omelette?
Scarlett Johansson is getting married
Ryan Reynolds proposed to his girlfriend of just over a year Scarlett Johansson. No wedding date has been set for the couple. Johansson's rep told People:
"They're both thrilled."The Nanny Diaries star is expected to show off her sparkler at Monday night's Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala in New York. Sources say Johansson is eager to "show off her rock" with her Dolce & Gabbana gown. (Source)
arriage? Scarlett can't be tied down by one dude. Unless Ryan's cock starts shooting out Mickey Mantle rookie cards, no way these two stay married longer than a year.
Scarlett Johansson directing her first film (a short entitled New York, I Love You) in Coney Island (3/11)
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Scarlett Johansson at the premiere of The Other Boleyn Girl in Berlin, Germany (2/15)
Scarlett Johansson is raising money for charity by auctioning off a date with her to the June premiere of her new movie He's Just Not That Into You . . . I wonder if you get your money back if she gets fat in the mean time? Page Six says:
ScarJo is raising money for the charity OxFam with an auction on eBay that begins tomorrow, March 3, the Sunday Mirror reports. Oh, did we mention that the highest bid wins a date with the silver screen siren? The winner will accompany Scarlett to the June 2008 red carpet premiere of her upcoming film, He's Just Not That Into You. Who says money can't buy happiness? (Source)
Am I the only one that finds the title of the film extremely appropriate? Add an "S" to the first word and you'd get a sense of Scarlett's real feelings toward the eventual winner -- unless she gets some booze in her. I'm still in shock that she was that flexible. I better start raising some money to win this thing. Anyone interested in a lung? I'll throw in a full tank of gas.
[Getty]
A homeless couple resembling Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds at LAX (9/2007)
For the past month or so there have been rumors floating about that Scarlett Johansson and boyfriend Ryan Reynolds are engaged -- and now comes this from Page Six:
Adding fuel to the fire, Scarlett brought her mother and sister to the Monique Lhuillier boutique in L.A. recently to look at wedding dresses. "They stayed for a while," our source says. A rep for the actress didn't return e-mails. (Source)
I wonder what style of dress Scarlett will choose? I hope something with an elevator operator motif to remind her of her Benicio days. Or perhaps something more in line with Woody Allen's tastes since they've been making so many movies together . . . like diapers and a pacifier. Or maybe she'll just end up wearing what's caused me many sleepless nights thinking about: her birthday suit. I hope so -- I need some new spank bank material. Those QVC models haven't turned me on since junior high.
"Put your feet in those stirrups right there Scarlett."
Woody Allen's new movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona features a "steamy" sex scene between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz as well as a threesome between the two and Cruz's real-life boyfriend Javier Bardem. A source told Page Six:
"It is also extremely erotic. People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and it will leave the audience gasping." (Source)
Does this story surprise anyone? Who else but Woody Allen would think of something as hot, perverse, hotter, misogynistic, supernova-like hot, and degrading than to have Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson make out? I know I for one will certainly only see this movie 6 or 7 times at most that first week. In all seriousness, it must be nice for Woody to finally be able to direct hot girls to fulfill his fantasies on screen . . . and not have to adopt them in the process.
PICS: Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson, and Woody Allen on the set of Vicky Cristina Barcelona (8/2007)
"I can't stop staring at your boobs."
Scarlett Johansson got boyfriend Ryan Reynolds a very unique gift for his birthday this week: part of herself. A source told E! Online's Ted Casablanca:
"[Scarlett had] just had her wisdom teeth removed, so she had one dipped in gold and strung on a necklace for him" (Source)
So if Scarlett just had her wisdom teeth removed, that means she was anesthetized for the surgery, right? "No Ms. Johansson I don't know why you woke up with your pants on backwards!"
NOTE: Check out how close Scarlett and Ryan live to each other. Wow, their breakup later this year won't be uncomfortable at all.
Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are neighbors
