Hot Scarlett is no more Back in April I wrote a story ("
Wave goodbye to hot Scarlett") about D-cup Scarlett Johansson foolishly hiring Madonna's personal trainer Tracy Anderson to whip her into shape. It saddens me to say this, but I was right. That's the new A-cup Scarlett at the Moet & Chandon "Tribute to Cinema" in Tokyo last night. I swear to god, if I ever see this Tracy Anderson chick on the street, I will punch her in the face . . . and then run like hell because she could probably kick my ass.
Scarlett Johansson heading to her gym in New York (8/10)
Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot Hot. I love chick fights. Even potential chick fights -- like the one brewing between Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley -- are hot. From the
Chicago Sun Times:
STAR FEUD? Keira Knightley is not happy she's got a big competitor for the role of Eliza Doolittle in a big-screen remake of "My Fair Lady." While Knightley more closely resembles the original movie's Audrey Hepburn, Scarlett Johansson reportedly has a better singing voice -- something Knightley has been working to improve for the past three years.
I'm sure it's Scarlett's magical singing voice and extraordinary musical talents that are giving her the edge over poor Keira, and not the fact that she's built like an upside down pyramid. Unfortunately for Keira, she could practice her singing everyday for the rest of her life and she still wouldn't get the part over Scarlett . . . yes I'm trying to imply she needs implants . . . I bet Demi Moore
could recommend a good surgeon.
Scarlett Johansson Scarlett Johansson at a photocall for Mango fashion held at the Santo Mauro Hotel in Madrid (7/13)
Scarlett Johansson leaving a gym in West Hollywood (6/18)
+
Jessica Biel. In spandex. [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Mariah Carey's giant breasts shoot a music video [
The Superficial]
+
Sarah Palin. In spandex. [Drunken Stepfather]
+
Keira Knightley is Topless, Really Likes Suspenders [Egotastic!]
+ Boobies for a worthy cause (
NSFW) [
College Humor]
+ Megan Fox is one hot cheerleader zombie [
Popoholic]
+ Beyonce helps a man propose [
I'm Not Obsessed]
+ The Hand Bra: A Gallery [
Holy Taco]
+ Michael Jackson's body to have a public viewing [
A Socialite's Life]
+ Jacko's dermatologist the real father of his kids? [
Dlisted]
+ Obscenely hot girl [
Double Viking]
+ Mariah Carey is trying to punk Eminem [
F-Listed]
+ Hottest female athlete ever? [
Busted Coverage]
+ 20 Undeniably Awesome Beards in Movies [
Attuworld]
Scarlett Johansson in late 2005Wave goodbye to hot Scarlett, say hello to freaky-muscular Scarlett. And it's all Gwyneth Paltrow's fault -- she introduced Scarlett to her personal trainer . . . who also works with Madonna. GWYNETH YOU BITCH I'LL KILL YOU! From the
Daily Mail:
Scarlett Johansson has enlisted the help of Gwyneth Paltrow's personal trainer to shape up for her new film role. The beautiful actress, who was once renowned for her hourglass curves, now does daily workouts with Gwyneth and fitness expert Tracy Anderson. She has shed more than a stone since she began getting fit for Iron Man 2, in which Gwyneth also stars.Tracy Anderson has built up a reputation as being personal trainer to the stars, and also counts the super-fit Madonna among her clients.
There's only one explanation for why Scarlett would be working out with Madonna's trainer and hanging out with Gwyneth Paltrow: She's been cast as one of the bad guys in
Iron Man 2. That's the only reason I can think of for why she'd want to look like Mumm-ra and sound like Snarf.* My advice to Scarlett: Avoid changing your appearance because it's bound to effect your greatest talent -- filling out a bra.
*THUNDERCATS HOOOOOOO!
Scarlett Johansson latest ads for Moët & Chandon
Kids, if you don't know what symbolism is, show this picture to daddy and ask him.
Scarlett Johansson and Jared Leto in 2004
If your name is "Ryan Reynolds" you probably don't want to read this story. Everyone else, by all means, please continue. From
OK! magazine:
There's nothing wrong with a little innocent flirting — or is there? Jared Leto certainly didn't seem to think so at Sunday night's Golden Globes bash at the Sunset Tower Hotel in West Hollywood, where he made a quick bee-line for his newly married ex-girlfriend Scarlett Johansson!
A fellow party-goer tells OK! that Leto, "spent most of the evening hitting on Scarlett Johansson, who certainly didn't seem to mind." (Source)
Sorry Jared. If Scarlet wanted to marry an emaciated, gender-confused, hermaphrodite, she would have chosen someone from the San Francisco Men's Chorus. Or Pete Wentz. If I were Ryan, I'd actually encourage Scarlet to hang out more with Jared. Who better to teach her how to apply her eye-liner?
Scarlett Johansson selling her germs
Good news for those of you that have always wanted to catch a cold from Scarlett Johansson. The actress is auctioning off one of her used tissues on eBay. Bidding has reached $2200 with three days to go:
During her 12/17/08 appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Scarlett Johansson blamed her cold on The Spirit co-star Samuel L. Jackson, saying she caught it from him. She believed that for this reason her cold had some "value." During her appearance on The Tonight Show, she blew her nose into a tissue provided by Jay Leno. All proceeds of this sale will benefit USA Harvest, the charity of Scarlett Johansson's choice. (Source)
What has this world come to when someone would pay $2200 for a celebrity's mucus? What a real freak. Guy needs to seriously consider getting help. I mean, I wouldn't pay more than $2150 for that tissue. I'll probably raise my offer but not until she throws in some used toilet paper and a Q-tip or two -- yes, you could say I'm a savvy investor.
Backstage at Scarlett Johansson's photoshoot for Allure magazine (Dec.)
+ Hayden Panettiere buys whip cream for naughty purposes [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Cheetah Girls performance canceled, probably because of nude pics [Lossip]
+ More. Sexiest. Megan Fox Bikini Pictures. Ever. [Egotastic!]
+ Aubrey O'Day upskirt [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Mary Castro is topless [NewsToob]
+ Olga Kurylenko might be the hottest Bond girl EVER [Holy Taco]
+ Top 10 signs your chick was too drunk last night [Double Viking]
+ Heidi Klum looking sexy in InStyle [ICYDK]
+ Ashley Dorenzo is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]
[Allure]
Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are newlyweds
Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were married over the weekend at a remote resort in Vancouver, Canada. The two have been dating for roughly a year and a half. Wedding details courtesy of Us Weekly:
Guests included Scarlett's mother, Melanie Sloan, and her brother, Adrian Johansson. Johansson, 23, and Reynolds, 31, who had been dating since Spring 2007, announced their engagement on May 5, the day the actress flashed a three-carat diamond ring estimated to be worth about $30,000 at the Met Costume Ball Gala. (Source)
Fellas, it's truly a sad day now that Scarlett is off the market, but take solace in the fact that there's at least one thing we can now look forward to: Pregnancy Boobs. Ryan, I will be severely disappointed in you and your penis if Scarlett's not pregnant by January 1. I can't go through another winter of beating off to the Sears catalog, I just can't.
NOTE: If you're thinking of sending a gift, I recommend pre-paid billable hours for their divorce lawyers.
[Flynet]
