Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin arriving back at her hotel in New York (2/16)

Let it be known that on the sixteenth day of February in the year of our Lord two thousand and twelve, Jeremy Lin officially became uncool.

*10 Sarah Palin pictures total in the gallery:

Sarah Palin got bumped

There's only one thing more embarrassing than your 17-year-old daughter's pregnancy becoming international news: Kim Kardashian bumping you from a magazine cover. Oh hey, guess what happened to Sarah Palin? From the New York Post:

Sarah Palin was bumped from the cover of People for Kim Kardashian at the last minute before this week's issue hit stands, a source says. Palin had been penciled in as a possible cover with an exclusive interview to promote her TLC show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska." "Kim didn't know she was going to be the cover this week," a source said. "She only did the interview at an event with the magazine just days earlier." Palin's six-page spread was photographed by Michael O'Neill, who flew up to Alaska, while Kardashian's pictures were pick-ups.

This must be devastating news for Sarah's 2012 presidential aspirations. How can she ever hope to win if she hasn't appeared on the cover of a highbrow periodical like People? Sarah's only hope now to rebound from this setback is to do a photoshoot for the one publication that encapsulates her political qualifications: The Economist National Review Juggs.

*10 Sarah Palin pictures total in the gallery:

Sarah Palin's boobs are real

The internets caught fire last week after this picture surfaced of Sarah Palin at the Belmont Stakes sporting what appeared to be larger than usual breasts. Sorry to disappoint you perverts (hey, that's me!), but they're real. From Us Weekly:

The former Vice Presidential candidate broke her silence Friday about the "boob-gate" Internet buzz that surrounded her this week, confirming to Fox News host Greta Van Susteren that she has most definitely not had implants.

"No, I have not had implants. A report like that is about as real and truthful as reports that [my husband] Todd and I are divorcing or that I bought a place in the Hamptons or that [my son] Trigg is not my own child," the former governor of Alaska, 46, told the host after being questioned point-blank.

"To be judged on or to be talked about on appearance -- say chest size -- it makes me wear layers, it makes me have to waste time figuring out what am I going to wear so that nobody will look at an area that I don't need them to look at," Palin said. "I want them to hear what it is that I'm saying. It just ends up wasting time and that's very, very unfortunate."

Sarah went about this all wrong. You don't lend credence to crazy internet talk by actually responding to it. It's why I've never addressed the rumor that I'm the world's greatest lover. I don't need my grandma reading stuff like that about me.

*16 pics total in the gallery:

Martha Stewart at the 4th Annual DogCatemy Gala in New York (11/5)

First Rachael Ray and now Sarah Palin. Martha Stewart is looking to crack some skulls. From Radar:

The feud between Martha Stewart and Sarah Palin has come to a boil with Sarah's dad slamming the Domestic Diva. Martha started it when she recently called Palin "dangerous"and then added, "Anyone like that in government is a real problem."

That remark was met with silence for days until Sarah's dad, accompanying his daughter on her book tour, got his chance to speak.

Asked in Florida what he thought of Martha's comments, Chuck Heath, 71, responded: "Martha Stewart? She's the dangerous one. She rubbed elbows with all the convicts in prison."

Say what you will about Sarah Palin*, but there's no arguing that she's a God-fearing individual. Martha Stewart, on the other hand, apparently has never been to church. Because if she had, she certainly would've learned one of Jesus' most profound teachings: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone If a chick is hotter than you, keep your damn mouth shut. I guess we'll have to settle this feud the ol' fashioned way: wrestling match! In oil. Without clothes. Or Martha.
 
*she's dumb incompetent the hottest looking chick in government since J. Edgar Hoover!