Sarah Jessica Parker

Sarah Jessica Parker out and about in New York (4/9)

Sarah Jessica Parker is witch spawn

If you watch any TV at all, you've probably seen NBC's promo for their new show Who Do You Think You Are. In it, Sarah Jessica Parker is surprised to learn that she's descended from one of the infamous Salem witches. I bring this up because, yeah, no shit NBC. I don't need a TV show to tell me a witch is descended from a witch. I see what's going on here. NBC thinks I'm stupid because I'm white. Well this white guy's disposable income will be supporting the advertisers of another network from now on, thank you very much.

Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of Sex and City: The Movie in 2007

Sarah Jessica Parker actually misses that disgusting mole she used to have on her face. Is she high? Yes, I think she is. From Contact Music News:

Sarah Jessica Parker fears she made a "terrible mistake" removing a prominent mole on her chin last year -- because she's permanently lost her trademark beauty spot.

She says, "I've been in therapy since it happened... Honestly, I didn't think a thing about it and apparently it turned into molegate. A woman came on to the beach really upset and she said, 'I don't know why you did that, your mole was your signature!' I was like, 'My mole is my signature?' And then for the next 15 minutes I couldn't hear anything people said to me. All I could think was, 'I've made a terrible mistake - Can I put it back on?' My son tells me every now and then he misses it... I feel like I should've talked to more people."

Sarah's mole wasn't her "signature." Bad movies, an over-rated TV series, and her spot-on impersonation of Mr. Ed filled that role. The fact that Sarah's even thinking of reattaching her old mole is ridiculous. That would be like Britney Spears wanting to get back together with K-Fed. Sure both K-Fed and the mole are known for clinging on to someone famous, but in the end they just made their women look even worse.

Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of Sex and the City 2 in New York (10/14)

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Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of Sex and the City 2 in New York (9/6)

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Sarah Jessica Parker in New York (9/1)

Swear to god, when I first saw these pics of Sarah Jessica Parker wearing a see-through dress, I naturally assumed she was filming a scene for Rob Zombie's latest horror film. Turns out she's actually filming Sex in the City 2. My mistake.

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker at the opening night of Mary Stuart at the Broadhurst Theatre in New York (4/19)

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are having twins. But not the old-fashioned naked way ("Whew!" - Matthew Broderick's penis). They're using a surrogate mom. From AP:

The "Sex and the City" star and her actor-husband are expecting twins through a surrogate pregnancy, representatives for the couple said Tuesday.

Parker, 44, and Broderick, 47, "are happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is overjoyed," said a statement from the publicists.

The couple has a 6-year-old son, James Wilkie Broderick, and will mark their 12th wedding anniversary next month. Details about the surrogate or her pregnancy were unavailable, the publicists said.

What surprises me most about this story is not that Sarah and Matthew wanted to become parents again at such an "advanced" age, but that this didn't happen sooner. Clearly they're deeply in love. Just look at the two last week in New York (above). You almost expect Matthew to mount* Sarah right there on the red carpet he looks so madly in love with her.

*horse pun intended

Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her son's school in New York (3/9)

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