Archive: Sarah Jessica Parker

He looks like a Matty Cakes

Is Matthew Broderick cheating on Sarah Jessica Parker with a “stunning redhead” half his age? Actually, I don’t know and I don’t really care. Star claims he is. Normally I take stories from them with a grain of salt, but this one’s just detailed enough to sound true:

After meeting in a bar, Matthew began text messaging the 25-year-old youth counselor, says the woman’s pal. Soon after, the insider claims, they began seeing each other and things got passionate quickly when they met at the Manhattan townhouse of a showbiz friend.

Sources say the woman felt conflicted with her relationship with Matthew, whom she nicknamed “Matty Cakes.” She tried to end it, say insiders, but that didn’t happen and over the next month — when Sarah Jessica was filming Sex and the City: The Movie in Los Angeles — multiple eyewitnesses say they saw Matthew make late-night visits to the other woman’s apartment building.

During one tryst, they arrived at her friend’s apartment after a night of heavy drinking, says a source. She dragged Matthew into the friend’s bedroom, then shut the door. “A half hour later, Matthew opened the bedroom door, mumbled ‘Well… ‘bye!’ and walked out. The friend found her passed out on the bed in her panties.” (Source)

Can you really blame the guy? His wife looks like she finished fourth in this year’s Preakness. If her huge facial mole, zombie hands, or penchant for hay didn’t make Matthew cheat, his sobriety certainly did. Besides, when your wife is Sarah Jessica Parker, hooking up with other chicks isn’t called cheating — it’s called being put out to stud.

[WENN]

Sarah Jessica Parker wears hand-me-down dress

Sarah Jessica Parker is pissed that she wore a hand-me-down dress to the New York premiere of Sex and the City: The Movie. Parker claims that designer Olivier Theyskens assured her that no other star had worn or been photographed in the dress — she later found out that both Lindsay Lohan and socialite Lauren Santa Domingo wore it earlier this year. The actress told WENN:

“In the big picture, this is not important, but there is a relationship between the entertainment industry and fashion. We’ve watched sales dwindle and we’ve watched people be less inclined to spend money on clothes. Look, my affection for the dress hasn’t changed, but what they did was so short-sighted. It’s just unethical and disappointing that they would allow the dress to be worn again. I just wish it had been handled differently and they had been straight about it.” (Source)

I totally know how Sarah feels. A couple years ago, I went to Daytona Beach for Spring Break. I decided to make a splash the first night out so I wore my new jean shorts and “Free Mustache Rides” (with an arrow pointing up) t-shirt. Ohhhh, I was the belle of the ball that night. I could do no wrong. Girls wanted me and guys wanted to be me. That is until I ran into a guy wearing the exact same outfit! I was so embarrassed, I immediately ran to my hotel room, ordered some porn, beat off, and then cried myself to sleep.

[WENN]

Sarah Jessica Parker at a photoshoot for Vogue magazine yesterday

Outside of a cartoon, I can’t remember that last time I saw someone fall like this. If this progression of pictures continued, I’m sure we’d see an anvil fall on her head followed by a loud *DOINK*.

Sarah Jessica Parker

OK I promise these are the last pictures from the Sex and the City: The Movie set. Apparently there was a problem with the original wedding scene shot at St. Patrick’s Cathedral and–to the horror of New Yorkers–the entire thing had to be reshot at the Public Library in Bryant Park. At least New York didn’t go down without a fight. In an attempt to stop the reshoot, a few local community leaders appealed all the way to the Supreme Court citing the Eighth Amendment’s prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment but the court refused to see the case on the grounds that viewing the evidence (pictures from the set) would violate the Eighth Amendment’s prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment. Sort of a Catch-22 there ya’ know.

NOTE: In other Sarah Jessica Parker news she topped Maxim’s annual Top-5 list so congrats to her for that.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Noth on the Sex and the City: The Movie set

Chris Noth (aka Big) and Sarah Jessica Parker (aka Carrie) get into a huge fight in the upcoming Sex and the City movie. I guess he finally figured out he was marrying a monster or something. I’m surprised this wedding didn’t take place under a bridge so Sarah’s busy schedule of scaring billy goats wouldn’t be interrupted. All joking aside, she’s really really ugly. I never noticed that before.

Sarah Jessica Parker yesterday

Sorry about yet another picture of Sarah Jessica Parker but I’m just so fascinated by this woman. I wanna turn away but I can’t. It’s like staring at the sun . . . I mean the sun doesn’t have progeria but I think you get my point.

NOTE: If you hate yourself, check out the pics I posted yesterday

INFDaily.com

If you have a penis you can go ahead and skip this story. Sex and the City: The Movie spoilers courtesy of the New York Post:

Mr. Big and Carrie definitely tie the knot - and it’s no small-time affair. Cast and crew are shooting today from early morning until 9 p.m. at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, where the wedding takes place. Carrie and her gal pals will be wearing jewels borrowed from H. Stern. Sarah Jessica Parker even gets a congrats written into the script: “Mazel Tov! I read it in Page Six,” reports a woman who played a well-wisher during filming yesterday. (Source)

Sarah Jessica Parker is like 60, right? I thought once women hit that age wealthy guys traded them in for a younger model? I mean, c’mon, it’s as American as apple pie and Imperialism. On a completely unrelated side note, how many times a day do you think Matthew Broderick contemplates suicide?

Splash News

Those feet belong to Sarah Jessica Parker (in New York over the weekend filming the new Sex and the City movie). It’s too bad the years have had their way with her body. My great grandpa’s dad tells me she was quite the looker back in the Roaring 20s.

NOTE: Her hands are worse

Splash News

Is Sarah Jessica Parker trying to promote her new perfume or catch flies? WTF? It’s not like some intrepid photographer caught Sarah at a bad moment either–check out the other pics. She looks like my grandma after she went down to Mexico for that facelift.

Sarah Jessica Parker is going into the fashion business. The former star of Sex in the City revealed some of the details of her new Bitten line during a private lunch for fashion editors and New York’s swanky Indochine eatery Tuesday. From the New York Post:

Our source says Parker plans to sell the line to Steve & Barry’s - a low-priced chain with a store in Manhattan Mall - for somewhere between $1 million and $5 million. The label will include jeans, lingerie, casual wear and accessories priced from $7.98 to $14.98. (Source)

I wonder if this company needs investors. Because if I know anything about women it’s that they love two things in this world: repeated remarks about how attractive you think their mom and baby sister are; and sub-$10 lingerie. You see, buying cheap lingerie leaves more money to spend on aprons and cleaning supplies.