Sandra Bullock


Sandra Bullock on the set of The Heat in Boston (8/31)

For some reason, Sandra Bullock is angry that ex-husband Jesse James is using her to promote his new reality show. Oh c'mon, he only cheated on you with 10 women. Some chicks simply won't forgive and forget. From Life & Style:
Painful memories are being stirred up again as promos for Jesse's new reality show, Outlaw Garage, which feature images of [ex-stepdaughter] Sunny and footage of Jesse talking about the scandal, are splashed across TV screen nationwide. "Jesse has taken her private life and paraded it around in public," an insider tells Life &Style. He keeps pulling out her name to keep his own current - it's just pathetic."

No Doubt the most agonizing clips for Sandra to watch are the ones featuring Sunny, 8, jumping on a trampoline with her father. "Sandra and Sunny were extremely close, and it was very hard for Sandra to stop seeing her," says a friend of the actress'. "Initially she was still seeing Sunny and talking to her on the phone, but Sandra realized she needed a clean break from Jesse, and she couldn't do that if she kept a relationship with his daughter." (Print Edition - 11/19)
Jesse James is a dick -- there's no argument there. But why is Sandra getting a pass? Jesse is a confirmed douchenozzle. He's a low-level, Discovery Channel reality star with an unhealthy obsession for pre-1946 Germany. Again, a REALITY STAR. Why would Sandra think that this poser would give her a pass regarding their life together? That's what those people do -- it's just that Jesse and his giant vanilla hose caught him an Oscar winner. See what happens, ladies? Since you gals can't stop thinking about the meat stick, assholes like Jesse James get to inject themselves into your tacos and leave godawful messes . . . much like the Taco Supreme I had for breakfast this morning. Now if you don't mind, I have shorts to change and a toilet to unclog.

*10 Sandra Bullock pictures total in the gallery:

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The 2012 Academy Awards

By all measurables, my grandparents really loved the Oscars last night. From Billy Crystal's joke about the Kodak Theatre name change to Billy Crystal's joke about the Kodak Theatre name change. Seriously, was that the only fucking joke he made? Mix in a little rape humor just to keep everyone off balance. Maybe some jokes about gas prices. Because they are so high, you see. Anyways, thank God there were some fairly attractive women there:

Penelope Cruz (10 pics here)
Natalie Portman (11 pics here)
Maria Menounos (9 pics here)
Olivia Wilde (14 pics here)
Penelope Ann Miller (3 pics here)
Claire Danes (7 pics here)
Amy Adams (7 pics here)
Emma Stone (3 pics here)
Angelina Jolie (17 pics here)
Li Bingbing (4 pics here)
Busy Philipps (4 pics here)
Stacy Keibler (7 pics here)
Rose Byrne (12 pics here)
Anna Faris (12 pics here)
Ellie Kemper (10 pics here)
Sofia Vergara (10 pics here)
Kate Mara (12 pics here)
Nancy O'Dell (7 pics here)
Shailene Woodley (11 pics here)
Kelly Ripa (4 pics here)
Sandra Bullock (6 pics here)
Milla Jovovich (8 pics here)

*188 pictures total in the gallery:

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Keanu Reeves demonstrating the healing power of his hand

Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock were spotted having dinner last week in Beverly Hills which, you know, totally means they're doing it. Hah! Losers! Via Contact Music:
Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves enjoyed an "intimate dinner" together at a Beverly Hills restaurant [last week]. The pair ate at top eatery Craig's but left separately to avoid being photographed together.

Sandra - who was wearing black jeans, a white T-shirt and a loose-fitting black sweater rounded off with zebra-print heels - slipped out the back door, while jeans and blazer-clad Keanu left via the main entrance before driving off in a Porsche.
Wow, this is huge news -- if it were 1996. Also, I didn't think Sandra was Keanu's type. I always thought he was looking to date someone a little less "vagina-y." Regardless, let's just hope these two have finally found happiness. Her, with someone that won't cheat on her with another woman. And him, with someone that'll finally put the toilet seat down.

*16 Keanu Reeves pictures total in the gallery:

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Sandra Bullock leaving NBC studios in Manhattan (3/29)

I wonder why it took Jesse James so long to write a tell-all about his marriage to Sandra Bullock? He hasn't crushed her spirit in months. What was he waiting for? Via Monsters and Critics:
Sandra Bullock is reportedly 'devastated' that ex-husband Jesse James is preparing to lift the lid on their relationship in a tell-all book. James has penned his memoirs for a new autobiography titled American Outlaw, a move that is said to have prompted Sandra to terminate their friendship.

A source told Closer magazine, "He didn't warn her about the book at all - she had no idea he was even considering it until after he'd signed the contract. She's devastated. Sandra's told Jesse they can no longer be friends - even for the kids' sake. She decided she has to put herself first. She couldn't deal with him anymore."
Hmmmm, I wonder what Sandra is so scared of? Maybe Jesse has pictures of her dressed up as Eva Braun or stories about her reciting Nazi propaganda speeches in German during sex. Regardless, it shouldn't be a surprise that Sandra's so shocked about Jesse writing a book. She probably never thought he would expose their most intimate secrets could spell.

*6 Sandra Bullock pictures total in the gallery:

  • Sandra Bullock Book 1
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The 2011 Academy Awards: Just the Attractive People

By any reasonable standard, the Academy Awards blew donkey cock last night (at one point James Franco walked out a dress which wouldn't have been funny even if I was high as a motherfucker). The telecast peaked when Anne Hathaway said "Welcome to..." and it was all downhill from there. But at least some fairly attractive women showed up. Like Penelope Cruz ... *makes motorboat sound with my lips*

Gallery features 138 pictures so click around:


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Sandra Bullock at LAX airport (1/17)

There's been a rumor floating around the past few weeks that Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are dating. Nope. Absolutely not true. They're just boning each other. From the Chicago Sun Times:
Despite Sandra Bullock’s absolute denial on the Golden Globes red carpet that she’s dating Ryan Rey­nolds, a number of skeptical — and typically cynical — Tinseltown wags aren’t totally convinced.

“I think Sandy and Ryan have a relationship that somewhat mirrors the one portrayed by Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher’s characters in that new movie opening Friday,” said a top L.A. film exec.

“That movie” is “No Strings Attached,” which focuses on a “friends with [sexual] privileges” relationship.
A "film exec" thinks that Ryan and Sandra's relationship is just like one being portrayed in a new movie that opened this past weekend? Yeah, OK, I think they meant "publicist." Next week we'll probably hear from some other "nameless" source that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon's friendship is just like Jason Statham and Ben Foster's relationship in The Mechanic -- opening Jan. 28th at a theater near you.

*12 Sandra Bullock pictures total in the gallery:

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Sandra Bullock and Jesse James finalize divorce

Sandra Bullock is officially a single woman. Citing "Irreconcilable Differences" and "I Hope You Die, Motherfucker," she finalized her divorce to Jesse James late last week. From TMZ:
Sources tell TMZ both Sandra and Jesse signed the final documents last week. Sealed documents have been filed with the clerk's office in Travis County, Texas  -- sources tell us they are the papers making the divorce final ... And sources say the divorce clears the way for Sandra to complete a single parent adoption.
Call me a hopeless romantic if you will, but I have a funny feeling in my stomach that we'll be seeing these two back together in a few months. Oh no wait, that's just the tuna sandwich I had for lunch. Thanks expired mayonnaise!

*13 pics total in the gallery:

  • Sandra Bullock Divorce Final 1
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Vanessa Hudgens at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards at Universal Studios' Gibson Amphitheatre in L.A. (6/6)

The MTV Movie Awards last night were many things: long, unfunny, painful to watch at times, "cussy," and most importantly, sexy. For your viewing pleasure, I present a gallery of just the attractive people. If you're looking for pictures of Snooki or Paris Hilton, unfortunately, I don't know what to tell you . . . besides "I desperately hate you."

The attractive people:

*150 pics total in the gallery:

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Melissa Smith aka "Whore #2"

It's been a big week for Sandra Bullock. Not only did she get a new kid and a divorce, but she also got an apology from Whore #2 Melissa Smith. And it even had a cover sheet! Everything's coming up Sandra! The letter:

melissa-smith-letter-front.jpg

This Melissa chick obviously has no clue what it means to exercise sound judgment. After sleeping with another woman's husband, destroying her marriage, and publicly humiliating her in front of millions of people, she offers to discuss the matter "in person"? The only way this whore could make a worse decision is if she wore white after Labor Day or greenlit another Indiana Jones movie.

*5 pics total in the gallery:

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Sandra Bullock adopted a baby

Sandra Bullock went from "not speaking to the media for months" to "surprise, I'm getting a divorce and adopting a baby." Wow, she really knows how to make a splash. From People:
"He's just perfect, I can't even describe him any other way," Bullock reveals exclusively in the new issue of PEOPLE, announcing that she is the proud mother of Louis Bardo Bullock, a 3½-month-old boy, born in New Orleans. "It's like he's always been a part of our lives."

Bullock, 45, and husband Jesse James, 41, began the adoption process four years ago and brought Louis home in January but decided to keep the news to themselves until after the Oscars. Their close friends and family - including James's children Sunny, 6, Jesse Jr., 12, and Chandler, 15 - were essential in keeping the adoption a secret.

Then, just 10 days after the March 7 Oscars, Bullock and James separated following reports James had cheated. Bullock says she is now finalizing the adoption as a single parent.
A "secret adoption"? Yeah, likely story. I'm not accusing Sandra of anything, but she was in New Orleans filming The Blind Side for exactly nine months (no she wasn't). And then she brings home a black baby? You can't really blame Jesse's broken Nazi heart for jumping to conclusions about Sandra sleeping with a non-Aryan and going on a revenge cheating spree of his own. Especially since . . . ADOPTION IS ILLEGAL IN NEW ORLEANS!!! (no it's not)

NOTE: I'm assuming Julia Roberts' picture next to the "World Most Beautiful People 2010" headline is some kind of terrible terrible mistake by the copy editor. Hopefully he gets fired over that.


Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: