Samantha Ronson


Samantha's house on the left, Lindsay on the right

As you may have heard, Lindsay Lohan was released from rehab over the weekend. And she wasted no time starting her new life, moving into a 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom, 3,100 square feet, $7,100/mo house in Venice -- the same city, coincidentally, Lindsay's ex Sam Ronson lives. Making things even more awkward is that Lindsay actually moved to the same neighborhood as Sam . . . oops, did I say "same neighborhood"? I meant RIGHT FUCKING NEXT DOOR. And make no mistake, this was not Sam's idea. From TMZ:
Sam Ronson is furious that her ex-GF Lindsay Lohan is moving in next door -- and yesterday, the DJ wanted to make it crystal clear, "Trust me, it wasn't planned."

As Ronson tried to get out of her Venice, CA pad yesterday -- photogs tried to ask about the situation ... but a frustrated Sam replied, "Dude, I'm way too pissed off right now."
Wow, I'm really surprised -- no, shocked -- at this story. I mean . . . I just . . . I don't know. I can't even write a cohesive thought. I'm simply stunned. Lindsay Lohan is renting a house for $7,600 a month. Where did I go wrong in life? I live in a god damn studio apartment. I knew I should have taken up cocaine instead of college.

*31 Lindsay Lohan house pictures total in the gallery:

  • Lindsay Lohan Venice House 1
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Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie leaving Voyeur nightclub in West Hollywood (7/22)

Jordan Bratman was living the idyllic life: a famous wife, an awesome house, fast cars, and more money than he could ever spend. And then those homewreckers Nicole Richie and Sam Ronson had to go and mess everything up. From the Chicago Sun Times:
There's been a lot of buzz the past couple of days about Christina Aguilera's  attending a "wild party" vacation with galpals in Cabo San Lucas -- reported as the "last straw" that led to Xtina splitting with hubby Jordan Bratman.

Not true, says an Aguilera insider who was on the scene in the Baja California resort.

According to my source -- who has a history of accuracy -- it was more about Aguilera's long chats in Mexico with girlfriends Nicole Richie, Samantha Ronson and others -- leading her to realize her marriage might be beyond repair.

Aguilera reportedly spent a great deal of time being consoled by her friends and told in pretty blunt terms about what was clearly missing from her relationship with Bratman, long her musical producer as well.
Obviously Sam Ronson (aka Lindsay Lohan's ex) would think Christina's relationship with Jordan wasn't going well -- he has the one thing she never wants her lovers to have: a penis a job. Of course, when it comes to advice on men, listening to Nicole and Sam probably isn't the best idea. Sure they've both stuck their fists into an animal all they way up to their elbows (see here), but that doesn't make someone an expert on relationships. That makes them a puppeteer.

*10 Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Christina Aguilera Nicole Richie Pressure 1
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Lindsay Lohan at a party in Pacific Palisades (5/30)

Really? We have to go through this drama again? I hate you Lindsay Lohan. I hate you so very much. From Radar:
Everything old is new again in Lindsay Lohan’s life. RadarOnline.com photographed Lohan’s ex-love Samantha Ronson leaving her apartment on Friday night.

Lohan spoke exclusively to RadarOnline.com about the rendezvous. When asked if she and celebrity disc jockey were getting back together, the 23-year-old Mean Girls star told us: “We're friends.”
They're just "friends"? Since when do friends play "Hand Puppet" with each other while listening to Melissa Etheridge? At this point, these two should do what most people who argue, bicker, and fight all the time do: get married. Of course, if they ever have marital problems, Lindsay can just do what most celebrities do when their relationships aren't working out: get a divorce mistress.

*15 pics total in the gallery:

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Sam Ronson has a new chick

According to Mavrix, that's Samantha Ronson hugging her new girlfriend outside the Fred Segal boutique in Hollywood on Monday. Uh oh, Lindsay's jealous ass is not going to be happy about this. I wouldn't be surprised if she hired a hitman to kill this new chick. Wait a minute, do hitmen cost money? Oh, well then, nevermind. Well I definitely wouldn't be surprised if Lindsay finds out where this chick lives and throws a tomato at her door. Wait a minute, do tomatoes cost money? Oh, well then, nevermind.

*17 pics total in the gallery:

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Lindsay Lohan leaving a boutique in L.A. (4/26)

Didn't get to this yesterday, but Lindsay Lohan has been banned from LA hotspot Trousdale after basically committing misdemeanor assault Friday night against her ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson. From the New York Post:
Troubled Lindsay Lohan has been banned from hot LA club Trousdale after throwing a glass at ex Samantha Ronson's head. Witnesses tell us that Ronson was sitting with friends when Lohan stormed up and suddenly threw her drink -- including the glass -- at her on Friday night. A spy told us: "Samantha was DJ-ing and went to sit with her friends when Lindsay stormed over and threw a glass at her head. Glass flew everywhere, and Samantha looked really shaken up. The club owner asked Lindsay to leave and was overheard saying she'll never come back."
I don't usually like to get too personal here on Celebslam, but you know what Lindsay's drug-induced downward spiral reminds me of in my own life? Absolutely nothing.

*10 pics total in the gallery:

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Samantha Ronson leaving the Mayfair Hotel in London (3/21)

Like most people, Lindsay Lohan's ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson thinks the troubled star is going to die soon. The only difference is that she's openly encouraging her death. Lindsay tweeted the following message over the weekend:
i need more followers lol    
2:23 PM Mar 27th via web
Sam responded:
@lindsaylohan i'll only follow if you're starting a cult driven mass suicide.    
6:03 PM Mar 27th via web in reply to lindsaylohan
Ouch, that must suck when the only woman you've ever loved turns her back on you. You know what also sucks? Looking like Sam Ronson. Advantage: Lindsay.

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Sam Ronson at Coffee Bean in L.A. (1/7)

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Aubrey O'Day at the NASCAR Champion's Party at Lavo nightclub in Las Vegas (12/4)

Ouch, how embarrassing. There's not a roof high enough to jump off of to get rid of the shame of being ignored by Sam Ronson From the New York Post:
Bisexual Aubrey O'Day was looking to give Lindsay Lohan a run for her money the other night. The Danity Kane singer planted herself on top of a banquette directly in front of Samantha Ronson's deejay booth and shook everything she's got at the NASCAR Champion's party at club Lavo in Las Vegas. A spy said, "She was doing everything to get Samantha's attention, including grinding her derriere on the glass partition that blocked off the booth." All to no avail -- "Samantha totally ignored her."
How could Sam possibly turn down Aubrey O'Day? Most red-blooded men would gnaw off their own arm to bang that chick. Either Sam still feels some sort of commitment to Lindsay, or she's no longer playing for the other team. Either way, hopefully Aubrey's learned from this whole experience that if she really wants to turn on a girl like Sam, she doesn't need to shake her ass . . . she needs to lick her own eyebrows.

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Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson back on?

We finally managed to rid ourselves of the monster known as "Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson," and then John Mayer had to go and stick his nosy ass in and fuck everything up. Thanks a lot dick. From the New York Daily News:
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson may be getting back together - with the help of an unlikely friend. John Mayer was spotted playing relationship counselor to the exes when they ran into each other at NYC hot spot Butter on Monday night.

"Lindsay and Sam didn't arrive together," says a partygoer. "Lindsay walked in, and the two said a quick hello, but then Linds went to the table where John was sitting. Lindsay looked upset that Sam hadn't come over to her, and she started whispering to John, who looked like he was trying to calm her down. She looked pretty angry. Then John got up and went to talk to Sam."

We're not sure what he crooned to the famed deejay, but it must have been pretty convincing: Ronson got up with Mayer and went over to La Lohan just a few minutes later.

The source notes that after Mayer's intervention, the tumultuous twosome spent much of the night talking and laughing. La Lohan even ended the evening looking content - and (dare we say it?) stable.

"Lindsay seemed happier than she has in ages," the spy says. "Sam eventually got up and deejayed for a while, and Lindsay kept standing up and looking over to the deejay booth, smiling."
It'd be nice if John's intentions for these two were completely altruistic. However, knowing his sordid past with women, it's pretty obvious that he wasn't trying to reconcile the lovebirds -- he was trying to set up a threesome.* Besides, if Lindsay really wanted to get back together, she would have shown up to the club wearing something that would drive Sam wild: Michael Jackson's glove.

*I don't mean with Sam, I mean with Lindsay and the voice in her head

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Samantha Ronson at the "Cool vs Cruel Fashion Awards" held at the Bowery Hotel in New York (11/11)

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Would You Rather?

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