Lindsay Lohan is pitiful Lindsay Lohan set a new personal record low outside Sam Ronson's house Friday morning. For those of you keeping score, Lindsay's rock bottom has now reached a depth of 984 feet. Go Lindsay!
Pacific Coast News says:
A distressed Lindsay Lohan is finally let into ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson's home at 3am. The troubled young actress had reportedly been in tears in her car as she waited outside the property for the DJ to return home. Samantha made Lindsay wait for a while on her doorstep before finally relenting and letting her in.
In other news, Sam Ronson's front door kinda sorta looks like a vagina. No wonder Lindsay wants in so bad. Must be like lesbian Disneyland in there.
Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson arriving back to Sam's house in the Hollywood Hills (6/11)
Lindsay Lohan got dumped again. The split happened Monday night after Ronson had dinner with the Palestine to Lindsay's Israel Nicole Richie. From
E! Online:
"Nicole refuses even to be in the same room as Lindsay," says a source, noting that just last week Nicole invited Sam to a mutual friend's birthday party at Bar Marmont with the stipulation that she not bring Lindsay. "Sam went to the party, and it really upset Lindsay," says the source.
After Sam had dinner with Nicole at Izakaya last night, a source says she gave Linds the kiss-off.
You can't really blame Nicole for meddling in other people's affairs. She has a lot of free time on her hands since she DOESN'T DO ANYTHING AT ALL WHATSOEVER. Regardless of how Nicole feels, I think Sam will ultimately see that she made a mistake and not just get back together with Lindsay, but marry her. When you have a chance to lock up a sexually-confused, potentially-insane, unemployed alcoholic, you do it. Because you are not getting a second chance. It's not like that type of chick grows on trees. In gutters and strip club dressing rooms maybe, but not on trees.
Lindsay Lohan leaving Sam Ronson's house in the Hollywood Hills (6/11)
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have taken their
newly-repaired relationship to the next level and are now wearing parts of each other's body around their respective necks. Gee, how romantic. From the
Chicago Sun Times:
If anyone cares: Frequent Chicago-visiting DJ Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan are quietly back together -- wearing locks of each other's hair in leather lockets around their necks.
Who wants to guess where that hair came from? Fine, I'll go first: their
nether-regions armpits knuckles. I'm actually a little surprised Lindsay and Sam aren't wearing little vials of each other's blood around their neck (a la Angelina and Billy Bob) . . . especially since they're probably both on the same cycle. Wow that was disgusting. Either way, it's nice to see these two were able to fist and make up.
Lindsay wants to marry Sam Since Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have seemingly reconciled (see
here and
here), you knew it was only a matter of time until the
marriage rumors started again. Lindsay supposedly wants to convert to Judaism to "please" Sam's family -- yes, the same family that tried to take out
a restraining order against her. An insider told the
National Enquirer:
"Lindsay says Sam’s promised she’ll persuade her family to accept this, and they won’t wait to see if California changes their gay marriage legislation, but will travel to one of the states where it is legal to say their I do’s."
Converting to Judaism might actually be a blessing for a pseudo lesbian like Lindsay. As a Kosher Jew, she'll finally be able to put an end to all of her "porking". Of course, under Judaic tradition one of these two will have to crush a glass once the wedding ceremony has been concluded. My suggestion: Lindsay should do it -- she seems to know a thing or two about
smashing things.
Lindsay Lohan outside Sam Ronson's house in the Hollywood Hills (5/20)
Lindsay Lohan was spotted outside Sam Ronson's house this morning at 2:30. A short time later, paparazzi heard a rhythmic banging against the wall that lasted a good 10-15 minutes . . . wait a minute, who the hell hangs pictures at 2 in the morning?! I swear, lesbians can be so weird sometimes.
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson back together? According to
Pacific Coast News, that’s Samantha Ronson leaving Lindsay Lohan’s house earlier this morning. The
borrowed Maserati Lindsay’s been driving for the past month is on the right. Damn, it’s like a rollercoaster with these two, a double-sided rollercoaster if you will. Up and down, up and down, up and down. And then Lindsay comes.
NOTE: What about Chris, Lindsay’s
new boyfriend? She needs to make up her mind: Is she straight or is she a lesbian?
***CAUTION: OBSCURE NBA REFERENCE AHEAD*** Lindsay’s switching teams more often than
Jimmy Jackson.
Lindsay Lohan leaving Byron Tracey Salon in Beverly Hills (4/8)
In surely what must have been a coincidence and not part of a plan that was in the works for days, Lindsay Lohan ran into
ex Samantha Ronson at West Hollywood restaurant Cecconi's on Sunday night. From
E! Online:
Lindsay Lohan was dining with her mom, Dina, when who should be at the exact same restaurant but ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson. Coincidence? Sam was out of town deejaying this weekend, but returned in time for a quick run-in on Sunday night at Cecconi's restaurant in West Hollywood. Sam was eating with a group of guys, but a source says she ventured over to the Lohan table for a brief hello before leaving alone.
This is so unfair. I had this same sort of "coincidence" happen to me
eleven times once with one of my ex-girlfriends and I never got a "brief hello" from her. I got served with a restraining order and told never to come by during third period recess again. Oh, and in case you were shocked to read that Sam was hanging out with "a group of guys," she wasn't. She was sitting next
to this.
Lindsay is so alone
Us Weekly scored the first interview with the
newly-single Lindsay Lohan. In an interview which takes place "over several lengthy phone calls and emails where she was both agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events," Lindsay opens up about the breakup -- in particular, the Sam Ronson-DJed party she
was banned from last Friday night -- and how everyone in Hollywood is basically shunning her now:
"It's absolute hell. The worst night of my life," Lohan -- who was staying directly one floor above the Ronsons with her mom Dina and sister Ali -- tells Us. "I'm not a bad person and this is what happens. I was raised to treat people well, and I'm so tired of this drama."
Lohan says she's "so alone" without Ronson.
"Everyone's turned on me," says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said "Uck," and Drea De Matteo said, "Come at me, bitch. I'm a f--king 22-year-old girl who's in love. I felt like I was in Mean Girls, but worse: Mean Girls was a movie."
Sources tell the magazine Ronson had repeatedly tried to break up with Lohan over the past month, but each time, "Lindsay threatens to kill herself -- she cares about her but wants out."
Lohan laughs upon hearing that, saying she's okay.
"I'm just really hurt!" she says. "The whole situation is sick."
I love how Nicole Richie is just disgusted with Lindsay's actions. Really Nicole? You once got so high, you drove the
wrong way on the freeway. You're the last person who should be casting judgment on someone. That'd be like me making fun of guys who only have four pack abs. I've never told anyone this before but when I first starting working out . . . man I don't know if I should admit this . . . I only had a four pack. *holds head in shame*
NOTE: Expect to see way more of these interviews with Lindsay. With nothing resembling a career, these interviews ($$$) are the only way she can pay her bills. Honestly, Lindsay's so desperate at this point, it wouldn't surprise me to see her agree to an interview with
PC Gamer for a couple hundred bucks.
Lindsay Lohan leaving the Chateau Marmont Hotel in Hollywood (4/4)That's Lindsay Lohan leaving the Chateau Marmont early Saturday morning, shortly after Sam Ronson
banned her from her private party. Damn, I expected her to look way more drunk. She still looks semi-conscious.
TMZ adds:
After Us Weekly (ed. note: both Us and OK! are claiming exclusives) broke the story that Sam's mother and sister went to a Beverly Hills police station yesterday asking questions about the restraining order process, sources tell TMZ Lindsay has been an emotional wreck -- crying uncontrollably.
We're also told Sam has cut off all communication with Lohan -- and that Lindsay isn't handling it well. In fact, we're told people close to Lindsay are worried she "might lash out."
Wow, everything's coming up Lindsay. She's got no money, no job, and no girlfriend. I'd say the best thing for her right now is to lay low at her mom's house in Jersey but she can't even afford to buy a plane ticket. Pretty much her only option to get across the country right now is the Rock of Love Bus.
Restraining order being filed against Lindsay Lohan?
Samantha Ronson's family is considering taking out a restraining order against Lindsay Lohan to "send her a message." Uh, I think Lindsay got that message when she put her key in Sam's door on Sunday at
it didn't work.
OK! has the play-by-play on Sam's mom Ann and sister Charlotte's visit to the Beverly Hills Police Department on Monday:
Charlotte and Ann talked to a clerk at the front desk, who advised them, "The restraining order is the best option. If she violates it, then she gets taken away.”
The Ronsons spoke openly to the officer about their situation. "She does these things to get attention," said Charlotte of Lohan’s recent actions. "She was trying to get into my party this weekend. We had to tell security to keep her out. Then she booked a room at the Chateau Marmont. Her room was right below... She also followed our brother Mark around."
"[Lindsay] was doing drugs," added Ann. "And we could not sleep that night at the Chateau. She was complaining about the music and noise coming from upstairs. She was trying to get attention, so that Sam could come down."
"She cuts herself too," Ann continued. "She is a cutter!"
"She got up illegally to our room," Charlotte told the policeman. "She does these acts of public humiliation. It is all for attention... She was also got physical with [Sam's brother] Mark."
Is a restraining order really the solution? Say Lindsay violates it and mails herself to Sam or something stupid like that. Her punishment is prison. I've seen
Caged Heat,
Caged Heat 2: The Hole,
Caged Heat 3: When The Lights Go Out,
Caged Heat 4: Solitary, and
Caged Heat 5: Shower Time. I know what kind of sexy stuff occurs behind bars at a women's prison. I've seen what happens when white hot desires melt cold prison steel. Lindsay would be in heaven. Sam's family might as well threaten her with a massage and a gift certificate to Pottery Barn.
