While his ex-wife was busy blowing Jake Gyllenhaal Saturday night, Ryan Phillippe was busy chipping away at Ashlee Simpson's self-confidence. From the New York Post:
Ashlee Simpson is taking her breakup with Pete Wentz in stride. The younger Simpson sister went to Les Deux in L.A. Saturday night and picked up Chad Hugo from the Neptunes, spies said. "She tried to pick up Ryan Phillipe, but he wasn't interested. So then she hung out with Chad all night and left with him." (Source)
I don't care who you are, turning down a famous chick that wants to bang you is a total baller move. Almost as baller as that time I rescued the family of endangered bald eagles trapped beneath the flaming wreckage of a subway car. President Bush wanted to give me a Medal of Freedom but I had to turn him down. Adding a ninth one of those things to my wall would be a little pretentious lol.
According to paparazzi agency X17, recently divorced father of two Ryan Phillipe is now dating 18-year-old Nikki Reed. Ryan, there's a reason why God invented binoculars. It's called 18-year-olds. You're not supposed to date them, you're supposed to admire them from afar. And occasionally buy them beer. Seriously, if you're 32, where do you even take an 18-year-old on a date? Soccer practice?
Some pics of Nikki from her appearance on Last Call with Carson Daly after the jump...
UPDATE: Us Weekly is claiming that Reed is not dating Phillippe but is dating one of his friends. Liar whores.
Publicists for Australian actress Abbie Cornish are refuting reports that their client is the secret reason behind Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe's recently announced split (which I totally predicted by the way). Rumor has it that Witherspoon found out that Phillippe was cheating on Witherspoon with Cornish on the set of their movie Stop Loss in Texas. But Cornish, 24, insists that she never slept with Phillippe. In a statement released yesterday, her publicist wrote:
"It's not true. They are co-stars and that is it."
Strong and harsh 10-word statement aside, can anyone really blame Phillippe on this one? Short answer: no. Long answer: hell no. Anyways, here's a haiku:
Ryan has a choice
New girl or dead-fish-like wife?
Hmmmm, tough decision
Remember last week when I posted that story about Ryan Phillippe "wishing he wasn't married" because he was using guy-code-speak to tell us he was banging his groupies? And you thought I was kidding? Well guess what, today I officially gained the title of "prescient badass" because Phillippe and Witherspoon announced their separation:
"We are saddened to announce that Reese and Ryan have decided to formally separate," the couple's rep said in a statement released to TMZ on Monday. "They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time. Sources tell TMZ that Witherspoon has contacted celebrity divorce lawyer Robert Kaufman. The couple of seven years have two children, Ava, 7, and Deacon, 3. No one specific event is said to have triggered the split. A source tells TMZ that the decision to separate was "cumulative." The couple have admitted to attending marriage counseling in the past. Divorce papers have not yet been filed.
Miss Cleo ain't got nothing on me--besides around 300 pounds and bulbous cankles. Honestly, though, let's quit with the fat jokes for today. I don't want to distract from the celebration of my greatness. Is 25 too young to be pictured on a stamp?
Bonus: You can't really tell there's a separation looming from this picture of Reese and Ryan at the Flags of Our Fathers premiere. They just look so damn happy together. Young love!
Flags of Our Fathers star Ryan Phillippe hasn't worked with wife Reese Witherspoon since 1999's Cruel Intentions (they met on set), but, in the newest issue of Interview magazine, Phillippe says it's better that way:
"Sometimes I think it's a little cleaner to, at least at this stage in our lives, keep that stuff separate," he tells Interview magazine in its new issue. "I'd never write anything off completely, but I just feel like there's something to be said for the individuality and mystery of doing things on your own."
C’mon Ryan, you’re not fooling anybody. Everyone knows the “mystery of doing things on your own” is actually code for “I’m banging waitresses up and down the Eastern Seaboard.” And Canada. Can’t forget our horny neighbors to the north!
Question: Why did Ryan Phillippe jump up and down and pump his fists in the air when his wife won a Golden Globe back in January?
Answer: Because he was drunk of course!
"At the Golden Globes I was plastered!" Phillippe tells Rolling Stone magazine. "Shirley MacLaine and I drank like crazy, just putting away bottles of wine and making fun of everyone."
Wow.....getting wasted with Shirley MacLaine is pretty hardcore. I guess Bea Arthur had a prior engagement. And what's with Ryan making fun of everyone? Last time I checked, his wife was still ugly. Yeah, I went there.
