Recently in Ryan Phillippe Category

Ryan Phillippe is shitfaced

Ryan Phillippe sober, Ryan Phillippe drunk

Ryan Phillippe was brutally assaulted Tuesday night at the Calvin Klein Spring 2009 Collection launch in Sydney, Australia. Police have advised the public to be on the lookout for a 6' 1" cartoon pirate in a big red hat who answers to the name "Captain Morgan."

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[Flynet]

Ryan Phillippe voted

Ryan Phillippe voting today in L.A.

+ Lindsay Lohan loves shitty Chinese food [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Wow, Jessica Alba is actually smiling [Lossip]

+ Monica Bellucci Topless Pictures from GQ Italy [Egotastic!]

+ Mel B. upskirt [TaxiDriverMovie]

+ Aria Giovanni's sexy ass wants to wrestle [NewsToob]

+ Top Secret War Machine Wins Election!!! [Holy Taco]

+ What do you get when you combine ginormous boobs and Guitar Hero? [Double Viking]

+ Charlie Sheen and his pregnant wife are fighting [ICYDK]

+ Kimberly Roger is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]

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[Splash News]

Ryan Phillippe had a horrible birthday

Ryan Phillippe is too old for Hollywood

Ryan Phillippe had a pretty shitty 34th birthday last week in L.A. A witness who saw the actor at Coco de Ville told In Touch Weekly:

"He looked glum. He told me, 'I'm too old for this town.'" Moments later, Ryan left alone. "He'd spent most of the night in the VIP section, drinking and not talking much, even though he had girls all around him."

Ryan, turning 34 doesn't mean your old. It just means now if you want to bang 18-year-olds, you have to pay for them. Considering Hollywood's obsession with youth, Ryan might be right though -- in dog years Hollywood years, 34 is ancient. In a couple of more years Ryan will hit his forties and thus be relegated to sitcoms, retirement, or even worse: playing the role of the younger man in the next Sex in the City movie.

Abbie Cornish bikini pics!

Abbie Cornish bikini pics! (Las Vegas - 8/8)

That's Ryan Phillippe and his girlfriend Abbie Cornish in Vegas late last week. Abbie's the chick that broke up Ryan's marriage to Reese Witherspoon in 2006. That's right Ryan Phillippe's kids Googling their dad's name when they learn how to use a computer in 2012, daddy had sex with someone that wasn't mommy.

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[BauerGriffinOnline]

Ryan Phillippe is topless

Ryan Phillippe working out in the Hollywood Hills (8/5)

C'mon Ryan, no weighted backpack, ankle weights, or resistance parachute strapped to your back? Stairs at only a 45 degree angle? Matthew McConaughey thinks your a pussy.

Ryan Phillippe buys house in the Hollywood Hills

Ryan Phillippe has a nice house

Ryan Phillippe's house in the Hollywood Hills. The actor just purchased the home for $7.4 million.

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

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Ryan Phillippe almost killed himself

Ryan Phillippe and family at LAX (11/12)

Ryan Phillippe was so distraught after his split with wife Reese Witherspoon he almost killed himself. The actor told UK magazine Man About Town:

"After the divorce, I was a physical wreck. I wanted to die. I was ready to kill myself. I was not taking care of myself at all. I would wake up and cry and vomit. Now, it's fucking easy [to cry on cue]. When I was younger, I didn't have enough to cry about. But since I've had kids, I feel my work has become better, because my life is fuller and more complicated, and I've experienced so many highs and lows." (Source)

Anyone else wish Ryan had gone through with this a long time ago? He could've done society a favor and spared us from Antitrust and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Besides if he really wants to "cry on cue," all he has to do check out who his ex-wife is currently dating--a former gay cowboy whose sister looks more like a brother. In the end it's comforting to know that if Ryan had chosen to kill himself, death would have been quick and convenient--just slit his wrists on Reese's chin and voilà!

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Ryan Phillippe like the Phillies

Ryan Phillippe loves alcohol

Bauer-Griffin

That's Ryan Phillippe stumbling out of the Boujis Club in London last night with a few friends. I'm pretty sure he had a few drinks. I mean, no sober dude would be caught dead in a Phillies hat right now. For Christ's sake, they're four games out of first.

Ryan Phillippe photos. Drunk! Ryan Phillippe pics. Drunk! Ryan Phillippe candids. Drunk! Ryan Phillippe had too much to drink Ryan Phillippe pictures. Drunk!

Ryan Phillippe is hammered Ryan Phillippe drunk off his ass

Britney Spears hooks up with Ryan Phillippe

Bear with me. I know I linked to this story earlier this morning but it's simply too good to not write a little about it. According to the National Enquirer Britney Spears and Ryan Phillippe hooked up at a club last week. A source told the gossip rag about Britney and Ryan's encounter at Hollywood hot spot Les Deux:

... shortly after Ryan stopped by Brit's table, "Britney had her arms around him." The former Mrs. Kevin Federline is said to have then followed Reese Witherspoon's estranged husband to the men's room. Her worried bodyguards are said to have later "busted in the door and found Britney and Ryan groping and kissing." Their mouthpieces insist they never even spoke at the club. (Source)

This story has got to be a fake. Even I wouldn't hook up with Britney at this point and I'm almost out of hand lotion (and my heart belongs to another lady*). Besides, what would Ryan Phillipe want with a washed up, peroxide blonde, loud mouthed mother of two? ... isn't he divorcing one?

*A pocket vagina I named Elizabeth

Ryan Phillipe is so freaking tough

According to the New York Daily News, Ryan Phillippe is a dick:

Ryan Phillippe did the only rational thing after becoming angry at a group of paparazzi that followed him to a Burger King in Santa Monica: he threw his Whopper at them. Hope they were hungry. (Source)

No big deal, I throw Whoppers at people all the time. Usually at homeless guys and people at bus stops. It's so funny when the Whopper shatters and then they start screaming and yelling about their cuts and burns. Oh did I say "Whopper"--I meant "Molotov cocktail." Old school, yet effective.