Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin in 2002
Russell Brand said he tried to bang Mila Kunis when both were filming Forgetting Sarah Marshall
in 2008 (surprisingly good movie, btw), but that damn Macaulay Culkin got in the way. KEVIN! Via The Sun
Russell said: "[Mila]'s gorgeous. She's so gorgeous. I was chatting her up, and got the conversation around to, 'Have you got a boyfriend?' and she went, 'Yeah'. So you know that feeling of 'How long do I have to maintain an interest in this conversation now?' It's 12 seconds. She's talking about her boyfriend 'Mac'. Eventually, she said 'My boyfriend's coming tomorrow.' She was excited -- and when he came it was not 'Mac', it was Macaulay Culkin!
"He'd got longer. Like a veal calf, like he'd been grown in a crate. All pale and scared of himself, like a shaved horse. There was a horror about him! Macaulay Culkin! The little lad out of Home Alone! She's fucking him!"
Yeah, I hate to agree with the Eurotrash, but Macauley Culkin might forever be Mila's scarlet letter. That being said, who is Russell Brand to call out little Kevin? The kid might be in a bad spot right now, but at least Mac has a couple of monster hit movies under his belt, while Russell starred in that godawful Arthur
reboot. I could knock Katy Perry around for allowing Russell to defile her during that sham marriage
, but she has those great big melons that makes everything alright by me. Yeah, those big, juicy, jiggly melons sure are nice . . . um, where was I? . . . oh yeah, fuck Russell Brand. He's as good a reason as any why we need to tighten our borders.*11 Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin pictures total in the gallery:
Demi Moore out and about in Sherman Oaks
Demi Moore continues to make bad decision after bad decision in her life. The latest? Sharing
a bed with Russell Brand. From The Sun
Demi Moore and Russell Brand have reportedly become "special friends" after bonding over yoga. Rumours are beginning to swirl that the pair are in a relationship following their date to the Stanley Kubrick exhibition in Los Angeles last week. It's claimed the single pair began meeting up before Christmas, having formed a friendship over their mutual love of the spiritual workout. They've grown so close, Russell is even teaching Demi some new maneuvers.
A source said: "Russell and Demi met through a mutual friend and really connected. They've got so much in common and Russell's been introducing her to all kinds of new yoga moves. He's also teaching her about meditation. Russell is a real charmer and she's enjoying hanging out with him ... They're both very spiritual people."
This is truly a sad thing to see. Demi let her addiction to poser cock
destroy her public persona, and now she's speeding down that same road again with no brakes. Doesn't she know that Russell Brand is just the metric version of Ashton Kutcher? The only difference I can tell is that while Ashton is a soul-eating douche, Russell is a soul-eating douche who talks with an accent and drives on the wrong side of the road. Sure, a much classier fella but still a douche. Now if I find out that Ashton is shooting his yoga all over Katy Perry, I'll stick my head in the oven and set it to broil.*10 Demi Moore pictures total in the gallery:
Russell Brand in Studio City
I want to make a new law that if you're illegally talking on your cell phone while driving AND picking your nose AND you're Russell Brand, police are allowed to shoot you. Tough law, but it really only affects a small percentage of the population.*10 Russell Brand pictures total in the gallery:
Katy Perry and Russell Brand arriving at The Staples Center in L.A.
Katy Perry and her ex-husband
Russell Brand both attended the Lakers season opener at the Staples Center last night. But luckily, they sat on opposite sides of the court and never ran into each other. Like, how awkward would that have been if Katy had walked into the bathroom when Russell was shaving and bathing in one of the sinks? "Oh, hi Katy" . . . "Hi Russell, so, so yeah, I'm gonna leave now and let you finish up."
Wait, Russell does bath in public restrooms, right? I've just always assumed . . .*15 Katy Perry and Russell Brand pictures total in the gallery:
Russell Brand and an anonymous girl in Hollywood
After using Jordana Brewster's sister for sex
and then possibly banging Ginger Spice
, Russell Brand has moved onto picking up random chicks off the street now. He was seen accosting an attractive jogger in Hollywood on Saturday, and she eventually gave him her phone number. How cool for this chick. It's not too often that someone has a picture of the exact moment that led to them getting a drug-resistant strain of super herpes.*25 Russell Brand pictures total in the gallery:
Geri Halliwell arriving at at Nice Cote d'Azur Airport in France
Russell Brand has gone from Katy Perry to a Spice Girl. And not the rich one that that David Beckham guy with the high-pitched voice is married to. The Sun
says he's doing Ginger Spice now:
Russell Brand has dumped his girlfriend to Spice up his love life with pop star Geri Halliwell. The comic fell for Ginger Spice at Olympics closing ceremony rehearsals.
One close pal of Russell said: "Things are getting very serious between them -- they're a proper couple now. They had met several times in the past, but really got to know each other during the Olympics. People thought Russell was joking at the time, when he said he had a crush on Geri all over again, but it was true.
"They just clicked -- they have so much in common. He is spending so much more time in London just to be with her."
Oh yes, I'm sure Geri has fallen head over heels for Russell. What woman wouldn't want to share a bed with the male skank equivalent of Paris Hilton. Russell Brand: Come for a night of fun, stay because you have a burning sensation all kinds of awful and your doctor wants you to ask him for a list of his sexual partners to determine if he should alert the local health authorities or not.*15 Geri Halliwell pictures total in the gallery:
Russell Brand and Isabella Brewster out and about in Beverly Hills
For some strange reason, Isabella Brewster really wants to date Russell Brand. Too bad he's just in it for the blowjobs. A source told Hollyscoop
"He has been seen a lot with Isabella Brewster, but she is just a f*ck to him."
Apparently this is a source of conflict for the pseudo couple, because Russell is willing to bang any hot girl he can and Isabella has feelings or whatever. One of his other hook-up babes is his on-again, off-again stylist who is apparently "obsessed with him," whatever that means.
His other "friend with benefits" is "some fangirl that he has been banging all the time," adds the source. Our source adds that he'll have girl #1 over as girl #2 is walking out the door.
Fangirl? That's a pretty dishonest way to describe the women who lay down for this douchebag. ALL of Russell's lady friends are fangirls -- every single one of them. The only one who wasn't was Katy Perry, and I'm pretty sure she only hooked up with him to piss off daddy. Russell Brand is a poser douchebag extraordinaire -- the Ashton Kutcher of Europe -- but as long as he's a celebrity, Isabella the fangirl can't say shit about the other fangirls he's plowing. It's Hollywood Bushido, people.*25 Russell Brand pictures total in the gallery:
Russell Brand and Isabella Brewster out and about in Beverly Hills
Russell Brand is rebounding from not getting to bang Katy Perry anymore -- the divorce was official last week -- very nicely. He's banging Jordana Brewster's hot younger sister, Isabella. They're actually the perfect couple since Russell loves hot pieces of ass and Isabella loves overwhelming body odor.*30 Russell Brand pictures total in the gallery:
Aw yeah, baby
This started as a story about Russell Brand, but it's since turned into me just wanting to stare at that picture of Katy Perry. Good Lord. From the Chicago Sun Times
Even though Russell Brand has gone out of his way to say nice things about Katy Perry since their split, there's buzz the Brit actor and comedian is more than a little nervous about Perry's upcoming documentary, Part of Me. Brand apparently asked that any footage shot while they were married be deleted, but that request was turned down. He's supposedly worried that some of his more caustic rants may come off as making him look bad -- if they indeed are used in the film.
Gee, I wonder what could make Russell Brand come off as "caustic"? He's pretty brave when he's taking on easy targets like evil Republicans and D-listers, so I'm guessing that, while at home with Katy, Rusty was probably shitting on the Hollywood heavyweights he so desperately wants to impress. For a guy who thinks so highly of himself, you would have thought that the camera crew following Tits McGee Perry around would have been a dead giveaway to shut that mutton hole. Now, should I make time in my hectic schedule of putting out forest fires and going down on supermodels to see this dopey Katy Perry movie? Hang on, let me look down for a second . . . yep, the cock and balls are still there, don't think I'll be able to make it. Besides, the nice Asian lady who does my laundry also sells bootleg copies of everything, so I'll see her when the time is right.*25 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:
Russell Brand leaving Earth Bar in West Hollywood
Russell Brand was spotted leaving Earth Bar last week with a "mystery blonde." After splitting with the "very very attractive" Katy Perry, Russell dated the just "attractive" Hungarian model Nikolett Barabas
. And now he's moved onto this chick. If he keeps this up, next week he'll be dating an old shoe.*12 Russell Brand pictures total in the gallery: