Stay with me here while I summarize this whole Donald Trump-Rosie O'Donnell mess. It all started earlier this week after Rosie called Trump a "snake oil salesman" and questioned his "self-made man" status after the real estate mogul said he wouldn't be relieving the troubled Tara Conner of her Miss USA crown. After Trump heard Rosie's comments he threatened to send one of his friends to steal Rosie's girlfriend Kelli Carpenter, called her "a woman out of control," and threatened to sue over misleading statements about his finances:
"You can't make false statements," Trump told People Magazine. "Rosie will rue the words she said. I'll most likely sue her for making those false statements - and it'll be fun. Rosie's a loser. A real loser. I look forward to taking lots of money from my nice fat little Rosie."
Today on The View, Rosie claimed she brought her girlfriend to the show because she "was afraid to leave her at home, in case someone with a comb-over came over and stole her from me." She also posted a lengthy Wikipedia entry about Donald's financial troubles on her blog, ending the summary with the following:
loving the wikii use it
do u
i will let u know if the donald sues me
or if kelli leaves me for one of his pals
dont u find him charming
Not to be outdone, earlier this morning Trump called into L.A. morning show "Good Day L.A." and declared verbal jihad against America's most portly lesbian. The highlights:
Regarding the rating surge "The View" experienced after Rosie was hired:
"I bring it up because they talk about me. Ultimately, that show will fail because of Rosie," adding, "Barbara (Walters) made a mistake. She cannot stand Rosie O'Donnell."
Regarding Rosie's intelligence:
"She's not very smart. I think Rosie is stupid."
Regarding Rosie's appearance:
"If you can look as ugly as she looks ... I give her credit for having succeeding moderately."
Regarding...uhhhh.....not exactly sure:
"She was like a little clam. A disgusting thought isn't it, when you compare Rosie to a clam?"
Jesus Christ! I'd make fun of these two but Donald already touched on Rosie's girth and Rosie already brought up Donald's comb-over. So really, nothing's left for me to do. I guess I'll just sit here and try to finish this word jumble. IT'S CRAZY FUN!
Following Britney Spears' recent adventures without underwear, Rosie O'Donnell is urging her to stay home and take care of her children:
O'Donnell wants to play fairy godmother to Spears and insists she shouldn't be partying with Hilton. She says, "We don't want Britney hanging out with Paris... Britney... stay at home with the kids."
Who would have thought Rosie O'Donnell would chime in as the "Voice of Reason" regarding this whole Britney situation (incidentally that totally beats her previous title of "Cheeseburger Commissioner"). You'd think with her day job of acting like an all around bitch, Rosie would be too busy to give Britney advice. Though I must say, just because Britney leaves her children at home while she's busy flashing her nipples and vagina, it doesn't make her a bad mother, it simply makes her a slutty whore.
Note: And a bad mother
Double Note: You can thank me later for posting a picture of Russian piece of ass Anna Semenovich instead of Rosie O'Donnell
Rosie O'Donnell is already clashing with The View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck:
The transition from Star Jones to Rosie O'Donnell hasn't been easy at "The View," especially not for Elisabeth Hasselbeck. "She is crying every day," an insider tells us. "No one can control Rosie, and Elisabeth can't contain her feelings. She gets so upset all the time." Some on-set sources think that Rosie's outwardly liberal views have been upsetting the show's conservative voice. O'Donnell's spokeswoman denied there have been any tears, and said, "Elisabeth was at Rosie's house this weekend with her daughter, Grace. They might not agree on politics, but that's what makes the show great. Ratings are up 59%."
Rosie O'Donnell reminds me of one of the skinny models who's always eating but never gaining weight. Of course by "skinny model" I mean "anthropomorphic hippopotamus: and by "always eating but never gaining weight" I mean "makes you gain weight just by listening to her voice."
Try reading the first sentence of that article again. I can't get past the part that says "transition from Star Jones to Rosie O'Donnell" because my computer keep crashing. Or maybe that's just my penis. Yep, definitely my penis.
Didn't Rosie O'Donnell come out of the closet a few years ago? Why is she continuing this "I'm really obsessed with guys" charade?:
Kanye West seems to have replaced Tom Cruise as Rosie O'Donnell's obsession. Dropping by an American Express-sponsored concert by the rapper, O'Donnell told us that meeting West "might be freaky, like he might think I'm a stalker or something - and I would be if I didn't have my own show." O'Donnell admitted to having jitters about her debut on "The View" next week. She says on her blog that ABC censors have already briefed her on what she can and can't say on the air ...
The only thing Kanye wonders when he sees Rosie is whether something that large and immobile constitutes a fire hazard. It's laughable that anyone would think Rosie was stalking them (except Chef Boyardee and maybe the Keebler Elves; they have legitimate concerns for their well being since a restraining order can't really protect you from someone with such a "bottomless" appetite).
