Rob Kardashian

Blac Chyna or maybe a hooker

The woman driving the Kardashian family apart because they need a plot line for the new season of their show -- Rob Kardashian's girflriend Blac Chyna -- was hilariously arrested at the airport in Austin over the weekend. And Rob Kardashian drove ~1,400 miles from California to go pick her up. Bitch better have thrown down for gas. From TMZ:
Our Kardashian sources confirm ... Rob drove the Bentley 26 hours to pick Chyna up.  He started the journey minutes after Chyna got arrested for public intoxication at the Austin International Airport Friday at 4:20 PM Texas time -- 2:20 PT.  [Blac Chyna posted a pic of his Bentley] at around 12:20 PM PT -- 22 hours after her arrest. 

The drive is 19 hours minimum ... we don't know if Rob brought a friend to trade off behind the wheel. We've confirmed it's Rob's Bentley -- the same one in which he and Blac Chyna were tooling around L.A. earlier in the week.

Our sources say the Kardashian family is alarmed ... they believe the road trip is a clear sign Rob's acting irrationally, and they're worried drugs or alcohol might be involved.
To recap:

  • Being there for your new girlfriend after she suffered a traumatic experience like being arrested: Irrational
  • Using your daughter's sex tape to launch careers for your and your entire family: Not irrational
Kris Jenner, ladies and gentleman. Let's give her some polite applause.

*11 Blac Chyna pictures total in the gallery:

  • Blac Chyna Arrested 1
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No, Rob! Your sweatshirt is not food!

Didn't get around to this before the year ended, but apparently Rob Kardashian has diabetes now. Gosh, who could have seen this coming? Oh yeah, everyone. From People:
"Even after his medical scare, Rob acts like he wants nothing to do with the world," the source said. "He doesn't respond to texts from people that are genuinely concerned and checking up on him."

Days after Christmas, the reality star was rushed to the hospital for stomach problems, with some reports citing his diagnosis as diabetes. Over the past two years, Kardashian, 28, has lived a life of seclusion, staying out of the public eye as he battled depression and gained over 100 lbs.
Hmmm, I don't know why Rob is depressed. Everyone in his family is so supportive. For example, here's what Rob's sister Kim had to say about the tattoo on his arm of ex-girlfriend Rita Ora on last Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians:
"He covered it with a life-sized Barbie doll of RIta that has now turned into a Cabbage Patch Doll," Kim laughed. "Have you seen it lately? It was like a Barbie doll and he's gained weight and it's now like a huge Cabbage Patch Kid. Huge!"
I think I figured it out. I figured out how Rob can lose a ton of weight and make a bunch of money so Kris stops picking on him. He can be the new Jared from Subway! It's perfect! Everyone hates the Kardashians, but even Rob would be loved if the guy who had the job before him was a child molester. Dammit, this is fucking brilliant. I want a referral fee. Or at least a free cold cut combo.

*15 Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rob Kardashian Diabetes 1
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Rob Kardashian might be on The Biggest Loser

Rob Kardashian has gotten so fat that only reality television can save him. Apparently he's set to join the latest season of The Biggest Loser. Dignity? What's that? From Star:
It's a slur Rob Kardashian is used to hearing from his catty sisters, but now the overweight reality star is prepared to become a loser for real! Star can reveal that he's joining season 16 of NBC's hit weight-loss show, The Biggest Loser, in a desperate attempt to lose the estimated 80lbs. he's packed on over the past two years.

"Kris Jenner worked with E! executives and NBC to arrange a deal for Rob to join the show," says a confidant, revealing that in true Kardashian fashion, Rob may have put his health on the line for the sake of fame and fortune. "He's stopped trying to lose weight on his own because he needs to stay big to do the show, which could be a huge payday." (Print Edition - 8/4)
If Rob really wants to improve his future, he should skip the weight loss and focus more on losing letters from his last name.  Sorry Rob, no matter how much weight you lose or TV appearances you make, the only thing people are going to think when they see you is "Hey, isn't that the dude whose sister was patient zero in Africa's Ebola outbreak?" Just kidding Rob -- when people see you, they won't think that; they'll think: "Who the fuck is that guy and why isn't he at home feeding his reindeer?"

*15 Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rob Kardashian Biggest Loser 1
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Rob Kardashian arriving on a flight at LAX airport (5/24)

I don't want to write too much about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding because fuck them (if you want to know how dignified the event was, Joe Francis was there), but I did want to give some props to Rob Kardashian for doing his best to ruin the affair. He bailed on the wedding and flew back to L.A. because he hates his family (hey, me too!). From x17:
A source tells X17online, Kim and Rob had it out Friday before the lunch at friend/designer Valentino's chateau. Kim wanted the departure from Paris to look like a catwalk, with every member of the Kardashian clan wearing beautiful Valentino couture and looking like a million bucks. Obviously Rob didn't fit into that plan and that's when the war began ...

"Rob said he was sickened by Kim and Kanye's display of wealth and clothes and beauty and called it 'superficial bullshit' but Kim was pissed that Rob hadn't made an effort to drop any weight over the past few months. Rob basically thinks Kim cares about him only for his appearance and he said he'd 'make life easier' for her and just leave."
Rob Kardashian -- a confirmed Kardashian -- is sickened by ostentatious displays of wealth? Is 27 too old to give a child up for adoption? Because Kris Jenner will drop his ass faster than a handful of pennies. I kid, I kid . . . Kris Jenner would never drop a handful of pennies.

*15 Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rob Kardashian Fatty Fight 1
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Rob Kardashian is still fat

Cookies. Brownies. Pizza. Hot dogs. Ice cream. All reasons why a fat, depressed Rob Kardashian is skipping his sister Kim's wedding to Kanye West this summer in Paris. Paris? Doesn't Rob know they have delicious creme brulee there? A source tells Radar:
"Rob is upset about his changing shape and truly feels like the black sheep of the family."

The family insider added that even though the 26-year-old is "very close" to father-of-one West, "he has no desire to go to France" for what is destined to be an over-the-top wedding.

"Of course, that could change. Kim is his sister. He loves her. But he knows this will be all about Kim and as usual, Rob feels he would be like the third wheel," revealed one Kardashian spy. "The reality of their situation is that Kim and Rob haven't been that close in years.
Meh. I wouldn't worry so much if I was Rob. This will be a Team KKK wedding, so obviously he won't be the only fat fuck in attendance -- although he'll probably have the biggest set of tits. Rob probably won't get as much as a mention on any website since he's so completely irrelevant in the world that he'll take the name "Jenner" soon. Now, if tubby really wants to hijack this event, then he'll have to hit the family below the belt and make sure that his "plus one" is a dignified Caucasian woman with an ounce of talent who never had O.J. Simpson inside of her . . . yeah, that'll throw them for a loop.

*20 Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rob Kardashian Fat Depressed 1
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Rob Kardashian on his way to eat, probably

In Touch Weekly says Rob Kardashian is so embarrassed about getting fat that he moved to Florida so everyone will leave him alone. Wait a minute . . . do they have food in Florida? Oh shit, I think I see a problem in his plan. From the mag:
On Nov. 13, [Rob] accompanied his sister Kim -- who's also been trying to slim down -- to Epione in Beverly Hills. "He is exploring his options," an insider tells the mag. As In Touch reported last week, Kim has been going to the facility for a procedure to reduce stretch marks and sagging, from which Rob may also benefit.

But Rob admits he's not relying solely on doctors to drop the 60 pounds he gained. "Right now, my focus is being healthy and working out," says the reality star, who recently relocated to Florida to escape public scrutiny, according to a source. "I hit the reset button on my life."
Whatever, fatso. Why is this even in In Touch Weekly? It's only fat Bobby we're talking about -- he doesn't bring mama the loot, so he could give himself a 9mm lap-band surgical procedure to the dome and it wouldn't elicit so much as a shrug from Kris. I recommend that, in this holiday season, Rob earn himself a little fame the right way -- the Kardashian way -- and make a hardcore interracial porno just like Kris always wanted him to do. All the pieces are in place, we just need to pull Ray J out of retirement one last time. But don't worry, he'll do it. Being Brandy's brother is only landing him so much work these days, and Dancing with the Stars won't return his calls. It's brutal out there.

*10 Fat Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rob Kardashian Shy Fatty 1
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Kanye West at the Dodgers vs. Mets game in L.A. (8/14)

Kanye West got a rousing ovation Wednesday night when he was shown on the Jumbotron at Dodger Stadium. ESPN reporter Arash Markazi describes it:
Luckily for Kanye, the Jumbotron didn't show Rob Kardashian sitting two seats down from him, or batteries would have been thrown. Many many batteries. And Rob would have definitely been hit, because let's face it, he's not exactly a hard to target to miss these days. Hell, he probably would have eaten them. "Mmmmm, Energizers."

*10 Kanye West and Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kanye West and Rob Kardashian Pics
  • Kanye West Dodgers Game
  • Kanye West Booed
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  • Kanye West Dodger Stadium
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  • Dodgers Fans Hate Kanye West
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Rob Kardashian leaving Kris Jenner's office in L.A. (2/19)

Sorry guys, the folks at E! wanted me to pass along this press release: The role of "Rob Kardashian" in the upcoming 8th season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians will now be played by a giant piece of cake.

*10 Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rob Kardashian Fat 1
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Rita Ora cheated on Rob Kardashian with 20 guys

A Kardashian calling someone out for their questionable moral behavior? Now I've seen everything. Via the San Francisco Chronicle:
Reality TV star Rob Kardashian appears to have accused British singer Rita Ora of cheating on him during their romance in an angry rant hours after news of their break-up hit headlines.

The scorned TV personality tweeted, "She cheated on me with nearly 20 dudes while we were together, I wonder how many she will sleep with now that we apart? But I mean 20?!!! How can a woman who is so busy trying to start her own career have time to be with so many dudes all while in a relationship?!

"I'm actually disgusted a woman could give up her body to more than 20 dudes in less than a year's time while trying to start a career."

The tweets have since been deleted, but not before his sister Khloe weighed in on the controversy, writing, "Cheaters never prosper @RobKardashian ill (I'll) be home today... Try and smile little brother."
Did you guys catch that little tidbit at the end? "Cheaters never prosper @whinyloser..." Right, because the Kardashians have been the model of elegance and civility over the years. There's nothing that says "royalty" like being a baby factory for drunks or being Ray J's urinal for a night. Hey, if you squint hard enough you can totally mistake any Kardashian for Kate Middleton . . . as long as you ignore the army of naked athletes standing in line waiting their turn. Now that we know that Robert has a problem with women who lack morality, gag reflexes, and sharp ears for music, I can only imagine how uncomfortable this year's Kardashian Kristmas gathering/Home Shopping Network Special will be. I'll bet a certain one of his sisters is getting a pistol-whipping in her stocking this year.

*5 Rita Ora pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rita Ora Cheater 1
  • Rita Ora Cheater 2
  • Rita Ora Cheater 3
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  • Rita Ora Cheater 5

Rob Kardashian has no shame

Reps from USC are denying Rob Kardashian's claim that he'll be attending law school there "very soon." Wow, that's gonna make class pretty awkward. From Newsday:
"There's no substance to his tweets," a representative for the USC Gould School of Law told Newsday, adding that the head of the school's public relations department had tweeted four times to deny Kardashian's claims.

"News to us," read the first of four tweets from the school, with the final one noting that "Rob Kardashian hasn't even applied to USC Law."

Kardashian, 25, the brother of Kim, Khloe and Kourtney, tweeted this week that he was going to be attending USC law school ("Going to Law School very soon and so excited and can't wait! School just never ends for me! #UniversityofSouthernCal #Trojans #FightOn").
What's that? A Kardashian thinks he or she is entitled to claim something that is simply not true? The hell you say. Look, I don't blame the little scumbag for thinking that way -- he did crap out of Kris K's retirement taco, after all. What surprises me is that Rob isn't running around telling even bigger lies: "Hey, did you hear my sister Kim values personality over looks and is especially attracted to Jewish guys with no athletic ability?"

*15 Rob Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rob Kardashian Law School 1
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