Recently in Rihanna Category

Rihanna at East Side Ink in New York (6/1)

Rihanna is in hot water with the New York City Health Department. She stopped by East Side Ink tattoo parlor on Monday and tattooed three of the artists with an umbrella and the letter R. The only problem is you need a license to do that. DUN DUN DUN!!!!! From TMZ:

[The Health Department says] Rihanna could be slapped with three misdemeanors for the offense, each with its own hefty penalty -- as much as $300 for the first offense, $500 for the second and $1,000 for the third. Sources say the tattoo shop could also face considerable fines of its own if the NYC Law Dept. decides to open an investigation.

Just a thought here TMZ but in future stories about Rihanna, can you not use the word "slapped"? Domestic violence shouldn't be a source of humor. It's not bum fighting:

The NYC Health Department just told TMZ: "Only licensed tattoo artists can administer tattoos in the city according to the City's Health Code. We are sending someone down to follow up on this."

Well apparently hanging out with Chris Brown again hasn't been the positive influence everyone thought it would be. Hopefully she'll able to work through this whole misunderstanding and put her best face forward . . . I mean NOT this one.

Rihanna out and about in New York (6/10)

Part of Chris Brown's sentence for almost killing Rihanna is that he has to stay 50 yards away from her for five years, which sucks because if Rihanna wants to sit on the 50-yard-line at the Super Bowl, Chris is gonna be stuck with all the mouth breathers in the end zone seats. Needless to say, Chris is not happy with the order . . . but neither is Rihanna. A mutual friend of the two told the New York Daily News:

"They think it's unnecessary and ridiculous. After [the proceeding], Ri and Chris talked on the phone for almost an hour and really worked at becoming friends. They're solid now."

The only thing "solid" about their relationship is Chris' right hook. The truth is that if Rihanna really is set on being in an unhealthy relationship, she doesn't need to date Chris Brown -- she just needs to get married. Now that we know she's gone back to Chris, it's kind of hard to feel sorry for Rihanna. As the great Confucius once said, "Asian chick with big tit is super hot, but rare like four-leaf clover" -- wait, wrong saying: "Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, I deserve it for sticking around."

Chris Brown to serve no jail time

No jail time. No jail time for almost killing Rihanna. He struck a fucking plea. TMZ says:

He'll spend 180 days doing community labor (8 hours a day -- 1440 hours total) -- which is, in effect, hard labor. He'll do his service in Virginia which is where Brown lives - it's equivalent to Caltrans or graffiti cleanup.

It's good to see that Chris gets to perform the six months of labor in his home state of Virginia. Too often I've found that judges fail to accommodate the needs of felony batterers.

He gets 5 years probation for FELONY assault -- he pled guilty. He'll get supervised probation. He'll have to come back to court every three months.

He must enroll in a domestic violence counseling program.

This is interesting ... the judge said if Brown and Rihanna are at the same public events, the 50-yard stay away turns into 10 yards. The stay away order lasts 5 years.

The only thing that gives me hope that justice will ultimately be served is the five years probation. Five years is a long time to go without punching bitches that be disrespecting you. But come 2014 ladies, watch out!

Rihanna leaving her hotel in New York (6/15)

+ Blake Lively in hot pink is hot [Hollywood Tuna]

+ Audrina Patridge is in a bikini [The Superficial]
+ Megan Fox's cleavage looks weird [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Olivia Wilde Topless Pictures from Maxim [Egotastic!]
+ Huge Boobies! (NSFW) [College Humor]

+ Bruno penetrates Paris [Popoholic]
+ Reese Witherspoon runs like a tard [I'm Not Obsessed]
+ Animals humping the wrong animals - a gallery [Holy Taco]
+ A little something for the ladies [A Socialite's Life]
+ Will and Jada have sex everywhere [Dlisted]

+ She wins best bikini body of the week [Double Viking]
+ Talent show FAIL [F-Listed]
+ Hot blonde falls out of her seat on live TV [Busted Coverage]
+ A gallery of MASSIVE joints [Attuworld]

Rihanna and Chris Brown spotted at Magic-Lakers game

Rihanna and Chris Brown both attended the Magic-Lakers game last night in Orlando, sitting just feet from each other. People is claiming they requested to sit together but were seated at opposite ends of the same row. And in the rest of this post, we list people Rihanna could have been spotted at last night's game with that would have been better PR than being seen with Chris Brown:

Adolf Hitler

The Green River Killer

Kate Gosselin

Rihanna at the DKMS gala in New York (5/8)

Rihanna's lawyer revealed today that the singer will most likely testify at Chris Brown's preliminary hearing on June 22. The hearing is being held to determine if there is enough evidence for the case to go to trial . . . which I don't think is gonna be a problem for the prosecution. "I present Exhibit A: Rihanna's face. Case closed." From the AP:

Rihanna is among the witnesses whom prosecutors plan to call during a hearing in Chris Brown's assault case, an attorney said Thursday. Donald Etra, Rihanna's lawyer, told reporters that prosecutors have told him the Barbados-born singer will receive a subpoena to testify at a preliminary hearing June 22.

The hearing will focus on whether there is enough evidence to continue the case against Brown. Etra said Rihanna will comply with the order. It would mark her first appearance in court since felony assault and criminal threats charges were filed against Brown in March. If she is called to testify, the 21-year-old singer would be subject to cross-examination by Brown's attorney, Mark Geragos.

Somehow I don't think the cross-examination by Chris Brown's attorney is gonna be a problem for Rihanna. I mean, what exactly does a defense attorney ask a domestic violence victim that doesn't immediately make him sound like an insensitive prick? "Isn't it true that . . . you love delicious ice cream? I'm done with this witness your Honor."

Rihanna hooked up with Drake

Rihanna has a new man in her life: 22-year-old actor/rapper Aubrey "Drake" Graham. Chris Brown must be shitting his pants right now. That dude looks like he could totally kick his ass. From the New York Post:

The Barbadian beauty showed up with a group of friends Monday at Lucky Strike Lanes & Lounge on West 42nd Street, but spent most of the night locking lips with Canadian former child actor-turned-rapper Aubrey "Drake" Graham. "She was drinking whiskey and apple juice and making out with him all night," says a spy. "They were really cute together." Rihanna, who's also been spending time in town with Katy Perry, peeled off with Drake at about midnight.

How lucky is this guy? He could literally steal Rihanna's money, take a dump on her chest, light her cat on fire and STILL be considered a step up from her last boyfriend. Hopefully seeing how quickly Rihanna moved on to another man will act as a valuable lesson to all the other potential wife beaters out there -- women are like fragile flowers that need love not abuse leaving noticeable facial bruising will always get you caught.

Rihanna is nude

Chris Brown is denying that he leaked those Rihanna nude pics that surfaced last week (the pics that were released while I was on vacation - great timing!). From Essence:

A spokesperson for Brown has released a statement to ESSENCE.com denouncing any connection to the photos. "This is both a false and defamatory statement. Chris has not released or ‘leaked’ any photos of Rihanna (or anyone else for that matter)."

I like that last part: "or anyone else for that matter." Chris has such a bad reputation that his spokesperson is now denying scandals before they even occur. If Chris' rep was smart, she'd start writing press releases in advance to prepare for any situation imaginable. "Chris Brown is denying that he was behind the roadside bomb that killed 11 Iraqi civilians on Friday."

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Rihanna out and about in New York (5/5)

Rihanna's first post-assault concert -- scheduled for May 28 in Dubai -- has been canceled. May 28 happens to be the date that Chris Brown is due in court to face charges of beating the living shit out of her. From the AP:

Yassin Matbouly, managing director of Vibe Entertainment Management Agency, told The Associated Press he was not aware of any connection between the two events. He said May 28 was Vibe's preferred date to host Rihanna in Dubai, but in a month and a half of negotiations with Rihanna, her managers never fully committed to it.

"We put an offer across with a large amount of money, and it unfortunately did not happen," Matbouly said. "We heard it was inappropriate timing for her to have a public concert."

In other words, it's Chris Brown's fault that Rihanna had to cancel the concert. Jesus Christ, will this guy just leave her alone? Hasn't he fucked up her life enough already? Pretty much the only thing he hasn't done to her yet is run over her dog.

Rihanna looks like an idiot

Like Madonna, Rihanna also attended the Costume Institute Gala in New York last night. Fashion wise, she pretty much nailed it . . . assuming her goal was to look like an extra from The Road Warrior. Whatever gay designer talked her into wearing that ridiculous outfit should be thrown in jail. Rihanna's hot and should never be dressed in head to toe fabric. Clearly he's fucking with us. You want some sound fashion advice Rihanna? Watch an episode of Maury where he interviews those 14 and 15-year-old sluts who want babies. Dress like them.