Raise your hand if you're shameless
And you thought accusing ex-husband Charlie Sheen of molestation was bad enough? Now Denise wants to hook up with ex-flame Richie Sambora to boost the ratings of her fledgling reality show. This woman has no shame. From Mike Walker at the National Enquirer:
Now don't drop dead from surprise, but the booze-challenged rocker won't even take her calls. Insiders say Denise started phoning and texting Richie nonstop, begging him to rekindle their romance, and he talked to her patiently at first – telling her he's just not interested, and has a new relationship cooking. Denise, refusing to take "NO!" for an answer, told pals she's furious at Richie – yet won't stop phone/text-stalking! (Source)
Why is Denise so in'fat'uated with this guy? He's a missed house payment away from having to appear in one of those infomercials selling swampland with the Ponch. The only explanation I can come up with is that either Richie's swinging some major lumber, or he can lick his own eyebrows. Either way, can you blame the guy for turning Denise down? Hanging out with her has got to be like riding a rollercoaster: sometimes you feel a little nauseous, and other times your ears just bleed.
Richie Sambora and Denise Richards in Hawaii (1/2007)
Even though Denise Richards claimed on her reality show -- a show in which she's supposedly "setting the record straight" -- that she never stole Richie Sambora away from friend Heather Locklear, Denise Richards definitley stole Richie Sambora away from friend Heather Locklear. A source told the New York Post:
"Heather has phone records that prove Denise was calling Richie while Heather was still married to him. Heather was such a good friend to Denise. She gave Denise clothes and offered her a shoulder to cry on when she and [now ex-husband] Charlie [Sheen] split up - there are even photos in the press of Heather taking Denise out after she and Charlie split. And then a few weeks later - not months - Denise starts dating Richie. For Denise to claim that not only did she not initiate contact with Richie but that she and Heather weren't friends for three months before she took up with him, well, that's just absurd and an outright lie." (Source)
Can you really blame Denise for stealing away such a magnificent physical specimen like Richie Sambora? She couldn't help it. So what if his eyes have more bags than a bellhop? Big deal if he's still a fan of the mullet? And who cares if he looks like he's smuggling illegals in his stomach? The bottom line is that he was perfect for Denise -- both use their mouth to pay the bills.
[BauerGriffinOnline]
Richie Sambora's mug shot
'bout time we got some real news around here. Fresh off two rehab stints in the past year, Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora was arrested for DUI last night in Laguna Beach. TMZ says:
Law enforcement sources tell us the Bon Jovi guitarist was pulled over by the Laguna Beach PD just before 11:00 PM last night. Cops say they observed him driving erratically in a black Hummer and pulled him over. He failed numerous field sobriety tests and was detained for DUI.At the station Sambora opted to take a blood test rather than blow into a breathalyzer. Laguna Beach PD tells TMZ there's no indication of drugs. (Source)
Clearly Sambora is in need of a third trip to rehab -- you know how the ol' saying goes: third time's the charm. Interestingly I've found that's not quite a formula for success when it comes to hitting on strangers. First time's the slap, second time's the kick to the groin, third time's the cuffs and mandatory 90 day sentence for being a prior offender. Well if you weren't looking for a little action, why'd you knock on my door? . . . oh yeah, right, the girl scout cookies. My bad.
UPDATE: Sambora's 10-year-old daughter Ava was in the car when he was pulled over and arrested. Lemme see here . . . average 10-year-old's height . . . carry the one . . . divide by two . . . yep, she could have reached the pedals. Am I trying to say this was Ava's fault? Yes.
Denise, there's better ways to get your name in the news than hanging out with Richie Sambora and flashing your vagina. Shooting sprees for example. Sure a few may be killed and you may even do a little time but, hey, guess who'd be the lead story on CNN? And for those of you who think these shots were merely the result of an eagle-eyed cameraman with perfect timing, how do you explain the fact that Denise held this pose for 43 minutes? Whore.
Note: People are claiming that Denise is doing cocaine in the pictures below. The people making these claims are retarded as Denise is obviously not doing cocaine. It's meth. Kidding, it's sunscreen.
More vagitastic shots after the jump...
