Martha Stewart at the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami (11/2008)
Martha Stewart isn't exactly a fan of Rachael Ray. On
Nightline last night, Stewart blasted the
Food Network star, calling her a stupid fat whore. OK, not really. But she was a bitch. Via
Us Weekly:
"Well, to me, she professed that she could -- cannot bake," Stewart says of Ray in the interview, [which aired Thursday]. "She -- just did a new cookbook which is just a re-edit of a lot of her old recipes. She -- and that's not good enough for me."
When it comes to writing a book, Stewart says she want to publish something that "is a unique and lasting thing. Something that will really fulfill a need in someone's library." Ray, she says, "is different."
Stewart says Ray is "more of an entertainer ... with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher, like me. That's not what she's professing to be."
If Martha Stewart really wants to write a book that will draw on her life experiences, she should come out with a cookbook titled: "100 Dishes You Can Bake in Your Toilet -- A Prisoner's Guide to Healthy Living." She already has a built-in 'captive' audience that would almost certainly propel her book to the top of the bestseller list. Of course if Rachael Ray wants to write a book that I'd buy, it'll have to be a picture book titled: "Rachael Ray's Guide to Swallowing an Entire Kielbasa Sausage." Seriously, have you seen that chick's mouth? If it was any bigger, you could throw a ball in it to win a prize.
That's how Rosie catches unsuspecting donuts
Rosie O'Donnell is returning to daytime television, appearing as a guest on today's Rachael Ray Show. MSNBC says:
Ray is a longtime fan of O'Donnell's and even brought back many of the creature comforts from the "Rosie O'Donnell Show" set, right down to O'Donnell's former musical sidekick, John McDaniel. O'Donnell and McDaniel joined forces for a musical number, but the appearance wasn't all song and dance.O'Donnell told Ray that she no longer harbors a crush on Tom Cruise, and e-mailed to tell him as much. "Tom knows, I wrote him an e-mail: 'Sorry it's happened, I didn't think it would.' Send." (Source)
With Rosie and Rachel in the same frame, you've got to wonder if the cameraman for that episode is going to be forced to use a wide angle lens. And is it really a good idea to put Rosie around all that free food backstage? That's like dropping Paris Hilton off at the "Thunder from Down Under" show in Vegas. Both are going to end up with their mouth's full . . . and an inability to walk for a week.
DID YOU KNOW? To celebrate "Green Week" at the end of last month, Rosie ate 14 gallons of mint chip ice cream.
[BauerGriffinOnline, Pacific Coast News]
Rachael Ray at the Can-Do Awards Dinner in New York City (4/7)
I wonder if she has one of those nipple rings like Janet Jackson. I bet she does. I've seen the way she handles pork tendorloins. Some chicks you can just tell they have a dirty side.
Rachael Ray at the South Beach Wine and Food Festival (2/24)
Third greatest rack on the Food Network behind Giada and Emeril. BAM!
Rachael Ray at a Dunkin Donuts press conference in NYC (7/07)
Dunkin' Donuts may want to find a new spokesperson. The company hired TV chef Rachael Ray to be the new face of the franchise last year--too bad she hates their coffee. A source told New York magazine:
"So a friend of mine was on set last week as Rachael Ray filmed her latest Dunkin' Donuts commercial. According to her, Rachael stormed onto the set and snapped at everyone. Not news, I know, everyone knows she's actually a gigantic asshole. BUT! I am also told she took one sip of her Dunkin' Donuts coffee, yelled 'What is this shit? Get me MY coffee,' and would not continue until she was given 'her' coffee — i.e., Starbucks." (Source)
Can you really blame Rachael for wanting HER coffee from Starbucks? They have a personalized blend made especially for her that they call "The tall, double soy, caramel macchiato, half caff. with a pinch of cunt." On a side note, for a chick fighting to control her weight, is calorie-filled Starbucks really the best place for her to get a drink? Rachel, for true weight management, tell Emeril you want to try one of his famous 3 ounce "protein" shots. BAM!
Pacific Coast News
Hey look it's Rachael Ray outside the Ed Sullivan Theatre on Tuesday. I know what your thinking: "Wow, those stars covering up Rachael's nipples are WAY too big!" You'd be wrong my friend, you'd be dead wrong.
Four Martha Stewart Show staffers using fake names were caught trying to infiltrate the audience of the Rachael Ray Show. Fortunately, an astute security guard noticed and put a double-tap in each one of the staffers' foreheads (actually that shooting part didn't happen at all but imagine how cool that would of been!):
"They were kicked out because they lied about their names," sniffed the spy. "Otherwise they would have been welcome to stop by - we have nothing to hide." A rep for Ray said: "We did have a group at a taping on Wednesday who misrepresented themselves and were turned away from being in the studio audience."
A Stewart rep said it was all a big misunderstanding.
"No one from Martha Stewart misrepresented themselves. In fact, a Rachel staffer who they knew well, greeted them warmly, even asked if she could get them better seats. For reasons unknown to us, they were asked to leave by one of Martha's former audience coordinators, not by a security guard - and they did so."
So basically someone's not telling the truth. The fact that Martha Stewart has a prison tattoo and Rachael Ray makes teddy bears and puppies look scary and intimidating makes it obvious who's lying. What's next? Putting a bug in Rachael's stand mixer? This is the kind of shit that happens when you give a convicted felon her own television show.
