Rachael Ray

Martha Stewart at the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami (11/2008)

Martha Stewart isn't exactly a fan of Rachael Ray. On Nightline last night, Stewart blasted the Food Network star, calling her a stupid fat whore. OK, not really. But she was a bitch. Via Us Weekly:

"Well, to me, she professed that she could -- cannot bake," Stewart says of Ray in the interview, [which aired Thursday]. "She -- just did a new cookbook which is just a re-edit of a lot of her old recipes. She -- and that's not good enough for me."

When it comes to writing a book, Stewart says she want to publish something that "is a unique and lasting thing. Something that will really fulfill a need in someone's library." Ray, she says, "is different."

Stewart says Ray is "more of an entertainer ... with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher, like me. That's not what she's professing to be."

If Martha Stewart really wants to write a book that will draw on her life experiences, she should come out with a cookbook titled: "100 Dishes You Can Bake in Your Toilet -- A Prisoner's Guide to Healthy Living." She already has a built-in 'captive' audience that would almost certainly propel her book to the top of the bestseller list. Of course if Rachael Ray wants to write a book that I'd buy, it'll have to be a picture book titled: "Rachael Ray's Guide to Swallowing an Entire Kielbasa Sausage." Seriously, have you seen that chick's mouth? If it was any bigger, you could throw a ball in it to win a prize.