Paris Hilton leaving BBC Radio One studios in London (1/29)
Paris Hilton got stood up by Prince Harry last week. The two were set to meet up in London, but the Prince blew her off . . . weird, that's what Paris normally does to guys on first dates. A source told the
Daily Mail:
"Paris had spoken directly with Harry to arrange their meeting. She was pretty annoyed that Harry blew her out but they may well meet on her next trip to London. She has been in touch with Harry since they met in London last year and has even had an invite back to Clarence House." (Source)
Newsflash: Prince Harry didn't blow off Paris . . . it was his bodyguards doing their job. They're required to protect Harry against all forms of harm -- whether by bullet, knife, or deadly infectious disease. If they had let the Prince get near Paris, he likely would have been exposed to some kind of virus that would have left him in pain, dead, or even worse for the monarchy: unable to reproduce. In my opinion, those bodyguards should be knighted.
Chelsy Davy bikini pics!
Prince Harry and his girlfriend Chelsy Davy in Mauritius (12/29)
Paris Hilton arriving to Whisky Mist nightclub in London (10/15)
It's stories like these that bring a smile to my face, a sparkle to my eye, and warmth to my cold, dead heart. From the Daily Mail:
London club Whisky Mist had a royal flush of VIPs last night, including princes William and Harry, princesses Beatrice and Eugenie - and US pop-culture royalty Paris Hilton and Christina Aguilera . . . Paris was delighted when she turned up around 2am to discover the two young princes were also in the VIP area. Harry was sitting with two male friends at a table, and Paris headed over in a bid to get his attention. But Harry was having none of it. He tried to ignore her, concentrating on his pals instead, but the hotel heiress is nothing if not persistent.An onlooker said: "It was quite funny to watch. Harry clearly didn't want to speak to her but she did a sexy dance in front of him and he finally stood up to shake her hand. He then just wandered off, and Paris looked a bit annoyed." (Source)
Frankly, I'm a bit surprised Harry wanted nothing to do with Paris. Since his sole military experience consists of fighting in Iraq, you'd think he'd be unfamiliar with a weapon of mass destruction when he saw one. And in case anyone's wondering where Harry "wandered off" to after shaking Paris' hand, it was probably to find the nearest bottle of hand sanitizer . . . and a saw.
Prince Harry's new girlfriend, Chelsy Davy, misspeaks
so often that Harry has nicknamed her "Dubya."
Harry keeps a poster of some of George W. Bush's gaffes on his wall to remind him of his love, according to the London Sun. Her brother Shaun told the paper, "Last month she said, 'Shaun, are woolly mammoths extinct?' I said, 'You can't be serious.' But she was totally convinced mammoths were still alive." He added, "She asked our father why grass-eating buffalo didn't eat deer when they got hungry. That's Chelsy, and we love her for it."
Someone needs to hurry up and organize a play date between Chelsy Davy and Jessica Simpson—but keep all the toys with small pieces out of the room. The two of them together has potential for a great prank: I'd call Papa Joe Simpson and tell him I brought a "special" toy for the two girls. As I open the door and toss it in, the hidden cameras would cut to the inquisitive faces of Jessica and Chelsy. Their looks of curiosity would be replaced with horror as they realized the object flying through the air was in fact a rubik's cube tied to a book of sudoku puzzles. It'd be like one of those slo-mo scenes you always see in war movies. Jessica and Chelsy would be diving behind the couch and shit. It'd be great.
