Pippa Middleton

Pippa Middleton leaving a medical center in West London (6/1)

The legend of Pippa Middleton's ass took on a life of its own after her sister Kate married some guy (name?) earlier this year in England. But did Pippa's ass have a little bit of help at the wedding? I have no clue, and neither does anyone else, but let's speculate anyways. From the New York Daily News:

So much for "Perfect Pippa." Kate Middleton's younger sister -- who narrowly won the title of "Rear of the Year" in England -- is being accused of stuffing her Sarah Burton bridesmaid gown in order to give her tush a push for the Royal Wedding. An "expert" who was called upon for TLC's "Crazy About Pippa" special questioned whether Pippa, 27, added some extra adding under her dress.

"I'm not convinced that it's completely natural," said London spa owner Lesley Reynolds Kahn. "Because I think, if you look at other photos of her and you see her in jeans, she's got quite a flat bottom. But I think possibly for the day, for that gorgeous dress, she may have had some sort of pants that gave her a little bit of a lift, or even a little bit of padding."

What makes a "London spa owner" an "expert" on this? If TLC had really wanted to get someone who's spent a lot of time looking at asses, they should have asked me. Over the years, I've examined more rear ends than Clay Aiken did when he vacationed in San Francisco last year.

*17 Pippa Middleton pictures total in the gallery:

Justin Bieber at his 5th birthday party in 199-- oops, I mean in Hawaii last week

I think this goes without saying, but Justin Bieber is definitely not banging Kate Middleton's sister Pippa (she of the famous ass). Um, okay. Glad we could clear that up. From the Chicago Sun Times:

Pippa Middleton supposedly guffawed loudly when hearing of online reports she’s trying to woo Justin Bieber. The gorgeous sister-in-law of Prince William figures she was linked to the teen pop star simply because she was savvy enough to land Brit distribution of Bieber merchandise through her family’s Party Pieces company.

Of course Pippa's not banging Justin Bieber -- he's only 17 built like one of the flower girls at her sister's wedding. As far as the distribution rights to the merchandise, Pippa's probably just doing what every Hooter's Girl does when she wants something -- a lot of flirting but no action . . . even when you wait for them outside after closing . . . and follow them to their car . . . and scream that you indeed DON'T like the taste of pepper spray. Even then.

*30 Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez pictures total in the gallery:

Pippa Middleton

Pippa Middleton at the French Open in Paris (5/30)

*30 Pippa Middleton pictures total in the gallery:

Pippa Middleton and Kate Middleton in Ibiza in 2006

The Middleton sisters, Kate and Pippa, are pissed that four English papers published some old bikini pics of them from 2006, and have lodged a complaint with the UK's Press Complaints Commission. What's funny is I probably never would have posted the pictures had they not complained. Isn't it ironic . . . don't you think? From the Guardian:

The PCC said it had received a complaint, which it was now considering. Sources at the PCC indicated the complaint was on the grounds that the pictures breach the editors' code of practice by invading the Middletons' reasonable expectation of privacy.

Publication of the photographs follows pictures in three tabloids last Friday showing the Duchess of Cambridge wheeling a shopping trolley at the local Waitrose supermarket on Anglesey, where she and Prince William live in RAF quarters. Separate photographers received bylines in each paper, indicating she may have been confronted by a group. Newspapers have been warned not to identify the couple's home for security reasons.

Oh no, these poor innocent little girls. How could they have known that they'd be exposed to extreme media scrutiny once one of them married the future king of England? Sorry Pippa, your "reasonable expectation of privacy" went out the window once your sister put on that ring and you put on 20 pounds of facial foundation. I mean seriously, if I wanted to see a woman with that much covering on her face I'd watch a Peter North movie or download burqa porn.

*46 Kate Middleton and Pippa Middleton bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Pippa Middleton leaving a party hosted by Richard Branson at the Kensington Roof Gardens in London (4/21)

I guess it pays to know the future queen. Especially if you have no gag reflex. From TMZ:

TMZ has learned a major company is offering Kate's little sister [Pippa Middleton] a whopping $5,000,000 ... for JUST ONE SCENE.

Vivid Entertainment honcho Steven Hirsch sent Pippa the letter, saying he thought she was the star of the Royal Wedding and that her "beauty and attitude" would make her a huge adult star. The fact she had some semi-racy photos surface this week probably didn't hurt either.

But get this -- Hirsch is also offering $1 million to another member of her family for doing a scene ... her brother James!

That's some exchange rate this Hirsch guy is offering. If my calculations are right, it sounds like he's offering Pippa $5,000,000 for one pound. *rimshot*

*20 Pippa Middleton pictures total in the gallery: