Archive: Pete Wentz

Pete Wentz is a liar

Pete Wentz is lying about playing Russian Roulette
Pete Wentz leaving his home in L.A. (9/9)

Pete Wentz is interviewed in next month’s Playboy . . . and he’s pretty much a lying bastard. Wentz told the magazine:

“I pulled a trigger on a gun aimed at myself. My friend and I did one pull each. We’d been drinking and had taken Ambien. I feel stupid even talking about it. It’s one of the reasons I’ve never owned a gun - I’m too impulsive. I’d probably get mad and shoot someone over a part in a song or something.” (Source)

How can a guy who spends four hours a day fixing his hair and another two applying his eyeliner consider himself “too impulsive”? Oh, and here’s a newsflash Pete: It’s not really called Russian Roulette when the gun’s empty . . . and made out of plastic . . . with the words “Super Soaker 9000″ printed on its side. And the fact that Pete’s constantly hopped up on booze and Ambien explains a lot — like why he married Ashlee Simpson.

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[Flynet]

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Pete Wentz is so gay

Pete Went likes kissing guys
Pete Wentz is so gay

Pete Wentz gives an eye-opening interview in next month’s Out magazine . . . and by “eye-opening” I mean “holy crap he’s gay.”

Even his longtime manager, Bob McLynn, says he spent at least a year wondering. “I thought maybe Pete was actually gay,” McLynn says. “I know guys who are gay who would sleep with girls. I wouldn’t have been that surprised.” Asking Wentz did nothing to clear things up: “He would try to act like he was to push my buttons.”

Then there are the interviews in which Wentz refers to himself as “half gay,” says “anything above the waist is fair game,” and boasts of making out with boys, even when corporate sponsors or fans’ parents balked or boycotted.

He doesn’t seem to think he has much to prove to Out, and I ask a lot of follow-up questions. Wentz answers them all, even when he’s not sure I’ll like the answers. “When I said that I make out with dudes, there was a slight sense of sexual rebellion in that,” he admits. “And I probably even made it a bigger deal than it was.” He thinks the first time he kissed a guy was when he was 16 or 17, probably on a dare at a party: “Like, ‘You make out with this dude and we’ll make out.’ ” And of later experiments, at 18 or 19, he says it was more like, “I’m going to try this thing.” And most recently? He actually apologizes before responding. “A long time ago,” he says with a slight wince. “Probably when I was 22?” (Source)

So you’re telling me that a guy that wears more make-up than a circus clown, wears androgynous clothing, and weighs less than 100 pounds actually kisses other dudes? Frankly, I’m shocked . . . that he only kisses them! Pete probably should have waited another few months to get married since the California Supreme Court now allows gay marriages. Actually, if you look at the guy, it looks like Ashley may have jumped the gun on that ruling.

Pete Wentz gay rumors

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Ashlee Wentz confirms pregnancy

Ashlee Simpson has huge boobs now
Ashlee Simpson confirms pregnancy

The newly christened Ashlee Wentz confirmed her pregnancy on husband Pete Wentz’s website Friends or Enemies yesterday. Just days after her engagement to Wentz last month, rumors began circulating that the singer was pregnant. They were right. Ashlee wrote:

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.” (Source)

Wait, wait, wait, she’s already in her second trimester? The first trimester lasts 98 days. Ashlee and Pete were married 11 days ago . . . divide by two . . . carry the one . . . YOU FUCKING WHORE! You know, I had heard that young kids were engaged in these types of premarital activities but their was a still a part of my God-fearing heart that didn’t believe it was true.

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Pete Wentz has gone and outdone himself

Pete Wentz is not funny
Pete Wentz again tries to be funny. Fails.

Wow, I didn’t think Pete Wentz could top the knee-slapping plate over his face joke from Sunday. While leaving a Bel Air Starbucks yesterday, he used a bagel . . . AS A PHONE! Get it? Bagels are supposed to be eaten! Holy shit what will this kid think of next? Maybe he’ll walk around Hollywood in a chicken suit or some fuzzy bunny slippers. Or maybe he’ll wear a pair of pants on his head even though everyone knows that pants aren’t supposed to be worn like that! Clearly Wentz is a rising star in the comedy world — a sort of white Richard Pryor if you will. But is Hollywood ready for his brand of edgy “in your face” humor? I just don’t know my friends.

NOTE: Carrot Top better watch the fuck out. The gauntlet has been thrown.

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[INFDaily.com]

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Ooh how much, how much!

Pete Wentz is a douche bag
Pete Wentz tries to be funny. Fails.

Did you know Pete Wentz wanted to try out for NBC’s Last Comic Standing but producers deemed him “too funny” and “unfair to the other competitors.” True story.

NOTE: Make sure you check out the site tomorrow as I’ll be posting exclusive pics of Pete walking around with a suitcase on his head while Ashlee looks on laughing hysterically. People aren’t supposed to wear suitcases on their head!

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[Pacific Coast News]

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My bad

Ashlee Simpson is married
Ashlee’s parents house last Friday

Turns out those tents set up at Ashlee Simpson’s parent’s house late last week weren’t for her wedding. They were for Papa Joe’s annual neighborhood circus in which he dresses up as a creepier-than-usual clown and forces the mommies wearing white tank tops and no bra to sit in the dunk tank. OK I’m lying. Ashlee and Pete actually did get married on Saturday. According to my exclusive sources, the bride wore a beautiful ivory lace wedding gown while the groom wore “something from Hot Topic.” The cake — topped with a shotgun and broken condom — was “delicious.”

Pete Wentz is married
Pete Wentz arriving to Ashlee’s parents’ house for the wedding (5/17)

[INFDaily.com]

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Ashlee’s wedding is on

Ashlee Simpson getting married at her parent’s house in Encino
Ashlee Simpson marrying Pete Wentz tomorrow

Looks like those rumors about Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz getting married this weekend were true. The weddings going down at her parent’s house in Encino tomorrow afternoon. Us Weekly says:

On Thursday, crews erected a massive (Ed. Note: tee-he) white tent with bright red curtains in the backyard of Simpson’s parents’ Encino, California home. (Source)

Ashlee and Pete have asked their guests to dress in dark colors for the ceremony. How nonconforming! And since this wedding just wouldn’t be a Simpson wedding without a little bit of creepiness, Papa Joe “begged” Jessica’s now ex-boyfriend Tony Romo to show up to “support the family.” He also asked the guy that took Ashlee’s virginity in 1999, Troy Johnson, to give a little speech about the night his daughter officially became a woman . . . OK, he didn’t actually ask Troy that but there’s a good 36 hours until the ceremony so don’t count that out.

[INFDaily.com]

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Ashlee Simpson is easy

Ashlee Simpson flashed Pete Wentz on their first date
Ashlee Simpson flashed Pete Wentz on their first date

Pete Wentz revealed to an L.A. radio station earlier this week that the first time he and fiancée Ashlee Simpson hung out, she flashed him. Via E!:

The betrothed couple blabbered about their beginnings on L.A. radio station STAR 98.7 FM this morning, with Wentz complaining that Ashlee kept him “in the friend zone” for a full year. Ashlee so completely didn’t notice Pete that, after they had already met, he had to email her a photo of him to jog her memory.

But things apparently took off quickly after that: “The first time we hung out she flashed me,” Pete says.

“I lifted my dress over my head for him,” Ashlee says. “So it was love at first sight.” (Source)

How could Ashlee NOT notice Pete? The guy wears more make-up than a battered wife. And I don’t think the term “love at first sight” is right choice of words when describing a first date that includes the chick “lifting her dress over her head” — I’d use something more along the lines of “WHOREEEEEE” or “SLUTTTTTT.” Either way, I just hope after Ashlee flashed Pete her vagina, he flashed his.

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[BauerGriffinOnline]

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Pete Wentz sued for beating up a dude (*contains giggles*)

Pete Wentz picking his nose
Pete Wentz in L.A. (4/29)

Ashlee Simpson’s fiancé Pete Wentz is being sued by a guy who claims the rocker beat him up after a Fall Out Boy concert in Chicago. According to court papers, Andy Kallas claims that Wentz and several of his friends jumped him at “Schuba’s Tavern” in June of last year without provocation:

“Wentz, along with several currently unidentified members of his security personnel and/or entourage, wrongfully and without authorization of provocation, by physical force did strike, kick, and beat Kallas for several minutes. Kallas suffered serious injuries to his head, mouth and face. he had suffered, and will continue to suffer pain, mental anguish, loss of normal life and disability to his mind and body. The conduct of Wentz was deliberate, willful, malicious and calculated to cause serious injury to Kallas.” (Source)

Oops, noticed a typo. I think the lawsuit meant to say: “While Wentz stood cowering in the corner clutching his eyeliner, several of his bodyguards repeatedly punched and kicked Kallas. As Kallas was laying on the ground — unable to move and bleeding out of several wounds — Wentz walked up, kicked him in the ribs and yelled, “Yeaaah, I fucked you up!”

No way in hell Pete Wentz beat up a dude. Guy’s like 5′4″. He couldn’t fight his way out of a Wiggles concert.

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[BauerGriffinOnline]

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If I had a nickel . . .

I make this mistake all the time
Pete Wentz is mistaken

Pete Wentz had a little mix-up yesterday. Bauer-Griffin explains:

Pete Wentz makes a quick trip to Rite Aid but during his short time inside forgets which car is his and tries to get into a Mercedes Benz S550 instead of his own S600.

This is exactly why I tie a red ribbon to my S600. It helps avoid confusion.

Pete Wentz’s Mercedes mix-up

Pete Wentz has a sick carPete Wentz Mercedes mix upNice car Pete WentzPete Wentz Mercedes S600

[BauerGriffinOnline]

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