Recently in Pete Wentz Category

Pete Wentz at the Cottage Hair Studio in Beverly Hills (6/15)

If you think Pete Wentz doesn't spend the bulk of his day doing fabulous things like getting his hair done at Beverly Hills' salons, I've got some bad news for you . . .

Pete Wentz at a toy store in West Hollywood last year . . . possibly trying to pick up on young girls

Pete Wentz's bar in New York, Angels & Kings, was shut down last Friday for serving alcohol to minors -- the third such offense this year. From People:

A spokesperson for Angels & Kings tells People: "There was an outstanding legal issue which the owners are now working to correct."

This is the bar's third citation, but the previous two citations were thrown out of court earlier this year. According to New York Liquor Authority spokesman William Crowley, however, the previous violations could still result in penalties and punitive measures.

"This is breaking the law and taken very seriously," according to an NYPD officer. "If the problem consistently happens, there is a chance of permanent shutdown of the bar."

Pete Wentz is so fucked. Once all these 17 and 18-year-olds sober up, they're gonna realize how much Fall Out Boy blows. His album sales are gonna plummet. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if we see him on a street corner in six months selling his body. "Hey Mister, I'll suck your cock real good if you buy me some eyeliner."

Ashlee Simpson at the T-Mobile Sidekick LX launch party in Hollywood (5/14)

Sorry for the lack of posts this afternoon. Been having some technical difficulties. Not having technical difficulties? Ashlee Simpson's uterus. It works just fine. In fact, she may be pregnant again. Via Hollyscoop:

While Ashlee is excited about her new addition, her husband Pete Wentz is apparently having second thoughts. A source tells Star, "He loves Ash and Bronx. But he also loves his freedom. He thinks a second kid could change things for the worse. He doesn't want to be tied down and stuck at home all the time."

On the other hand, Ashlee is hoping baby #2 will be the glue that sticks the family together once and for all. The source says, “She loves Pete and wants to hang on to him. She believes this second baby will really clinch the deal.” Neither Ashlee nor Pete’s reps have made a comment on the news.

Great idea Ashlee. Use your infant children as a prop to trap your husband. That's certain to be the key to a healthy relationship -- ask Britney. I might actually feel bad for these two if Ashlee weren't so self-absorbed and Pete didn't look like a skinny female version of Kelly Osbourne. Of course, considering the amount of make-up he wears, it could all be Pete's idea to turn Ashlee's uterus into a clown car.

Pete Wentz hearts strippers

Remember that story a few weeks ago about Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's marital troubles? Apparently Pete's partying too much for Ashlee's liking. Well I don't think these pics are going to help. Pics of your husband partying with strippers while you're at home with the baby usually don't. From Star:

The Fall Out Boy bassist — who was without his wife of nearly one year — partied hard with about 50 band members, dancers and pals (including Girls Next Door star Holly Madison) following a sold-out show at the Palms Casino Resort on April 5.

"Everybody was going absolutely crazy," an eyewitness tells Star. "People were even drunkenly playing makeshift Slip 'n' Slide with a mat and lubricant. And Pete was in great spirits. He was dancing and singing along to his band's own songs, grinding up against the dancers [and] dancing on a pool table with the girls."

However, earlier in the day, Ashlee — who headed back home after attending FOB's April 4 concert in Irvine, Calif. — Twittered: "I am beyond sad to leave my love... My heart is breaking as we drive home." And also: "I need my hubs."

This is dumb -- of course Pete missed his wife. While two of the strippers -- Diamond and Marcedes I believe -- were giving Pete a private lollipop show in the bathroom, he accidentally called one of them 'Ashlee.' I thought that was pretty sweet of him. But of course Star didn't mention that.

The Simpson-Wentzs in South Beach last year

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Simpson-Wentz's marriage is in trouble. Supposedly Pete spends way too much time getting ready -- an hour on his eyeliner alone -- and Ashlee is just fed up. Just kidding. But admit it, that does sound plausible. From the New York Post:

Party animals-turned-parents Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are having trouble with their new domestic lifestyle. An insider told Page Six, "Ashlee and Pete are on the rocks. He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home. It's just not working." A rep for Simpson, who's currently spending some alone time with her hubby in Australia without baby Bronx Mowgli, said, "This is not true. Everything is fine in their world." (Source)

Divorce? Failed career? Ashlee, your sister Jessica called. She wants her shtick back . . . and an 8 pc. Breast & Wing Meal from KFC. Stat!

Jessica Simpson's new Size 8 ass

OK, this confirms it. Pete Wentz has a vagina and a HUGE one at that. From US Weekly:

Pete Wentz is defending sister-in-law Jessica Simpson -- who shocked fans at a weekend chili cook-off with a fuller figure.

"I think that the media puts too harsh of a spotlight on women in general, and I think it's a bummer," the Fall Out Boy told Extra from the NFL Pepsi Smash Super Bowl Bash in Tampa, Florida Thursday, when asked about Simpson's new curves.

"It's bad for young women," Wentz added. "I see it affecting young girls who come to our shows, and that's a bummer. Real beauty is on the inside, man." (Source)

It's time to get serious here for a second. As much I don't like the guy, Pete has a great point and the sooner we all realize it, the better off we'll be as a society. Trust me, I know this from experience. Where I'm from, FairyTaleLand, real beauty isn't measured by such things as hot tits, hot asses, and hot skinny waists.

Pete Wentz loves Ashlee Simpson's boobs

Pete Wentz's favorite thing about new wife Ashlee "don't call me Ashley" Simpson? Her personality Her sense of humor Her eyeshadow that he always borrows Her boobs. Pete told the Daily 10:

"I would start with the breasts . . . Ashlee is the kind of person that understands me in a way that other human beings don't understand each other. I would say that we fit together kind of like Lego pieces, and that's how we're able to communicate. She's always there for me, she always has my back no matter what. If I have to leave at 6 a.m. to go somewhere, she's packing my bag for me. I'm like, 'What are you doing up at 6 a.m.?' and she's packing my bag." (Source)

There's a good reason Ashlee's boobs are Pete's favorite thing: unlike her voice, nose, and chin, they're the only thing she has that are real. Pete better enjoy his wife's post-pregnancy boobs while he can, because in a couple of months her cans are gonna start sagging lower than her last album sales.

NOTE: My favorite thing about Ashlee? Her sister's boobs.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz-Simpson at a donut shop in Hollywood (7/25)

Pete Wentz is denying the New York Post's report that Ashlee Simpson and him approached "every single celebrity magazine" to sell the first pics of their baby Bronx Mowgli but found no takers. He wrote on his blog:

ring ring, its the truth calling...

About baby pics gossip: truth is like every celeb couple we were offered

mounds and mounds of money by mags from here to Guam to pimp out the baby. We just don’t want to go down that road with him.

We are not placing judgment on those that do as they often use the money in a very charitable way. However, we have made the decision to not sell Bronx’s baby pictures right now. We understand that like other celebrities have said, “there is a bounty on our heads” for these pictures. There is a danger when there are cameras being held over walls and into our backyard. We are followed day and night and that was fine when it was us but we are going to do our best to shelter Bronx from that as much as possible. Its scary to be followed by 10 cars to your home. We understand the curiosity, just not the viciousness that comes along with it when it becomes so insatiable. We know there will be a time when we’ll share him with everyone because that insatiable curiousity becomes unsafe or simply because we’re proud parents who want to show him off! We know our fans support and care about us and want to know about our family and we’ve always been straight up and open with those who care about us most, so at some time, when it makes sense, Bronx will be out in the world.

In the meantime, we’d like to say thank you to those who have allowed us relative privacy in letting us just be a family for now - and to enjoy all the happiness he’s brought us.

ps trust me he’s cute. he looks like his mommy. (Source)

Pete's lying of course. Ashlee's father is Joe Simpson. Don't think for a second that he doesn't view this baby as just a huge dollar sign that pisses and shits everywhere. Rumor is he had a deal with Pay-Per-View to televise Bronx's conception in high def until Ashlee found the cameraman in the closet and kicked him out . . .

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz in Hollywood (10/4)

If you're on pins and needles waiting to see the first pics of the baby with the dumb name, I hate to ruin your day but Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz aren't finding any takers. Oh noes! How will they buy a new Range Rover and extra-small jeans for Pete! From the New York Post:

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are trying to drum up some cash by selling photos of their baby, Bronx Mowgli - but so far, no takers. A celebrity weekly insider told Page Six, "Pete and Ashlee have approached every single celebrity magazine with offers to sell their first photos, but nobody wants them. Covers of them tend not to sell well." (Source)

According to experts, Ashlee and Pete haven't sold their baby pics due, in small part, to the troubled economy, and in large part, because no one cares.

Ashlee Simpson fell in love with Pete Wentz's penis first

Remember how your parents met after those nude cell phone pics of your dad were leaked to the Internet? The same thing happened with Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. Awww, how romantic. From the New York post:

FALL Out Boy rocker Pete Wentz may have been embarrassed by the nude photos of him that surfaced back in 2006, but they ultimately landed him a nice consolation prize: wife Ashlee Simpson. "She just called me up and made me feel a lot better," he tells Details. (Source)

The worst part about this story is you KNOW after reading it you're going to think about Google Image Searching "Pete Wentz Naked." Let me save you some time, effort, and sleepless nights: Don't! Yes, I know it's tempting, and you're probably wondering what a semi-famous chick would find appealing about a dude that dresses like a sad Japanese bukkake actress, but just trust me when I say, "What's been seen, cannot be unseen."

Okay fine, here's the goddamn link (I'm NOT making it clickable; seriously, you really need to think about this): http://www.duuh.com/history/pete-wentz-nude-cellphone-4.jpg